2 Samuel 1, 2 Samuel 2: 1-7, John 20, Psalm 84: 1-7
John 20: 24-25 (ESV)
“Now Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not
with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the
Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails,
and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his
side, I will never believe.”
Verses 24 and 25 from John 25 describes Doubting Thomas’
reaction upon hearing of the resurrection of Christ. Doubting Thomas has always
been the disciple I most related to in the Bible. I related to him as a kid and
an adult, I still find myself relating to him so much. Thomas loved Christ and
followed him, but the shock of his death was too much for him. He was going to believe
it until he had physical proof himself.
I believe in Christ, but there is a part of me that
constantly questions this belief and demands the physical proof of constant
miracles in my life. It is no doubt my sinful nature that keeps whispering in
my ear that Christ may not be real. That belief in Christ may be a delusion.
That I am crazy to believe in God after everything bad that has happened in my
life. The voice is small but persistent. But I constantly have to tell that voice
that God is real because I have a lifetime of proof in my life of all the ways
God has done miracles in my life. That if I am delusional, I am happy to be
part of the billion other delusional people in the world who think Jesus Christ
is real. That God loves me so much even though I doubt him so, so much. Will I
ever silence the voice? Probably not unless I can figure out how to get rid of
my sinful nature. But that voice may be the best thing that I have going in my
life because it constantly reminds me to think of all the ways God is real in
life. To think of all the miracles I see daily in my life. And last but not least
to remember how much God loves me every day of my life.
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