I put a link up to amazon.com for the two books I'm reading on the left, and a list of movies I've seen in 2003. I've seen 22 movies so far in 2003, not counting mindless movie watching on TV.

I've been trying to account for how I spend my time these last five months, and the stress of worrying about my job and then having to move really put a stop to me reading. This is not good.

I read 7 books in 5 months, which is I daresay not very promising for someone who wants to be a writer.

Books I've read so far in 2003:
God Talk: Travels in Spiritual America by Brad Gooch
Phantoms by Dean Koontz
The Hours by Michael Cunningham
The Kitchen God's Wife by Amy Tan
LOTR - The Two Towers
The Courage to be Rich by Suze Orman
The Energy of Money by Mara Nemeth.

I definitely need to start reading more. I go through periods where I read mostly books, and then I go through periods where I read everything else but books.

I know I spent most of April going through my old papers and magazines, and reading through them to decide whether to trash or keep them, so maybe I was burnt out on reading. Who knows?

Plays I've Seen so far in 2003
American Buffalo by David Mamet
The Dazzle by Richard Greenberg
The Constant Wifev by W. Somerset Maugham
The Three Sister by Anton Chekhov
The Ramayana

Other Events I've attended so far in 2003
Art exhibit - American Flag: Two Centuries of Concord and Conflict
Art Exhibit - The opening of the Asian Art Museum
Art Exhibit - Leonardo Da Vinci and the Splendor of Poland
Exhibition - The Orchid Show
Fair - Whole Earth Expo
Exhibition - Arts of Pacific Asia
Concert - Opera in the Gardens
Concert - Free Blues Concert in Golden Gate Park

Seminars/classes I've taken so far in 2003
Sean David Morton - Trends for 2003
The Path of the Adept by Dr. Paul A Clark
Kerygma Bible class - every Wednesday from January through June 2003
The Moral Education of Children by Steve Johnson

I mean when I list all of things I remember doing and going to, I think I lead a fairly busy life, but my reading list truly sucks! I'll have to put myself on a serious reading schedule to make sure I get my reading in. It's the only way I can guarantee myself that I'll read and actually finish a book.

Not finishing a book is a problem too. I'll pick up a book and start reading it, and if it doesn't grab my attention right away, I'll just stop reading it. I have many partially read books in my apartment. I think it's a good idea to finish reading a book once you start it, even if it sucks, just to see as a writer why the book failed. Easier said than done however. Some books are just so darn boring.

I brought the book "London" by Edward Rutherford with me on my vacation, intending to finish reading the book and I just couldn't do it. It just so happens that the person I was on vacation with was the one who gave me the book to read, and when I asked her if she finished it, she said no, it was too boring. I'm determined to finish "London" sometime this year I swear, just to get it out of my apartment.

I never have the same problems forcing myself to see movies though. Movies don't require the same level of commitment that a book does. You can go to a movie and in 2-3 hours and it's done. Most books, depending on the length can take me a week to read or even longer, and if it's a good book I'll end up reading parts over 2 or 3 times because the writing is so good and I want to savor every part.

I wish I could go back to the bookworm self of my youth when I lived for reading, and was one of those types with their nose always in a book. But maybe back when I was a teenager living in my parents' house, I had to read because there was nothing else to do.

As an adult, there are so many choices of how to spend my time, whatever time I have left that is when I'm not working, eating, exercising, sleeping or maintaining my relationships. Sometimes I think if I didn't go to so many exhibits, plays and seminars/classes I would have more time to read. But I love plays and I love looking at art and attending events. Then there's all the websites to read, the newspapers online to read (SF Chron, NY Times, LA Times and Merc News), the magazines to read that I subscribe to (Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, Shape, and Martha Stewart Living) It's a total conundrum.

Maybe if I'd gotten into the habit of reading before I go to bed I think I would read more books, but most people read to relax themselves and then go to sleep. When I read, I either get stirred up or I totally fall asleep. If a book really interests me, I'll have to keep reading it till I finish it.

I prefer to block out a period of several hours so I can read a book from start to finish. It's very hard for me to read a book in sections at a time, although I'm trying to teach myself to read this way. It's really the only way in my fairly busy life, that I'll ever get a book read.

Maybe reading needs to be like losing weight or doing anything else in my life at this point. I'll have to set up a schedule, a routine and try to follow it.

Some "The Matrix Reloaded" tidbits. I was going through a pile of old newspapers when I ran across a SF Chron interview with Keanu Reeves for the movie. Here's what Keanu said about his reading list for both movies.

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When he prepared for the original "Matrix", the Wachowski brothers asked Reeves to read Jean Baudrillard's "Simulacra and Simulation" and Kevin Kelly's "Out of Control" so he'd gain an understanding of issues surround artificial intelligence. For the sequels, Reeve says, "the brothers told me if I wanted to look at what they were doing, I should read some Schopenhauer, some Hume and their old pal Nietzsche. I got a little bit into Schopenhauer, but you have to keep going backward -- you start at "Will and Representation", then you have to read "The Four Fold Path", and then, Schopenhauer hates Hegel, and he's opposed to Kant, so you start reading Kant, and then you go, OK -- I've go to do some stretching and some kicking".
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I'm starting back on counting my calories again to lose those last 10 stubborn pounds. Wow, I have been way more than I thought. I haven't been gaining any weight though, and I guess that's a good thing.

I decided to start off easy and try to eat only 1400 calories this week. I thought I could start with 1300 calories, but after 1200 calories I was still hungry. YIKES!!!

It's the snacks that are killing me. A cookie here, a piece of candy there, and pretty soon I've eaten the equivalent of two meals. I've been lax about religiously counting my calories since I went on the cruise, so that's two months of an eating free for all.

I would gain a 2-5 pounds, but then if I just cut back a little on my food intake my weight would come down to where it was before I stopped being vigilant. If this is maintenance eating, it's not that bad.

But now for these last 10 pounds. If I can do it on my own, I think I may join weight watchers. I've resisted it so far, and managed to lose weight without joining but I would so dearly love to get rid of these last incredibly donkey stubborn 10 pounds.

I know my body is fighting me. It likes this weight because I weighed this weight for a really long time. Maybe it's my set weight, so who knows. I know I used to weigh less so I know it can be done. I still have a few things in my closet that don't fit, and they bug me.

Maybe I need to give up juice. I don't even drink 100% juice anymore anyway. I always dilute my juice with mineral water. It tastes better and it's kind of like drinking soda, plus I drink a quarter of the juice I would normally drink. Maybe it's back to mineral water with a lemon twist.

Definitely no more trips to junk food palaces like Burger King and Taco Bell. I know I need to start exercising again regularly as well. I really slacked off on that big time in the last two months.

I took a four mile walk this evening, and I worked out on Saturdday and Sunday. If I exercise every day even if it's just walking 4-5 miles a day, I know this will help me in the battle of the last 10 immovable pounds that are fighting for dear life to hold on to my body.

This is the funniest article, U.S. Troops Seek Women's, Baby Products.

Especially the part about what the soldiers do with women's pantyliners. It's funny and at the same time, it's kind of gross.

I saw "The Three Sisters", a play by Anton Chekhov on Thursday at ACT. I so forgot how depressing Chekhov can be. I left the theatre in a daze.

On Saturday and Sunday, I was a good girl and worked out both days and then ran errands. I bought a new toilet seat cover, a new rug for the bathroom and new robe, which I found in the men's section on sales for $22. I also had to pick up gas at Costco, $1.65 a gallon, and then do some grocery shopping. When I grocery shop I always go to two or three different stores, so I grocery shopped on Saturday and Sunday.

I put my laundry in the car, thinking I would either do it Saturday or Sunday. I ended up going to a laundrymat on Saturday night, and listened to a couple of left wing freaks discuss the Iraq war. The two left wing freaks were talking about how igorant everyone else is, but these freaks were just as ignorant. One of the freaks was a woman who told the other freak, a guy, to check out the ANSWER website.

I wanted to interrupt and tell her that the only reason ANSWER sponsored the anti-war rallies is because they support Saddam Hussein, and want to overthrow the USA. ANSWER didn't sponsor the anti-war rallies because they were peace loving activists. DUH!!! They sponsored the antiwar rallies because they love Saddam Hussein, and all the other mass murdering dictators of the world.

The freak woman's car had stickers saying she worked for Department of Social Services for the city and county of San Francisco. She's a government worker, need I say more?

I could tell freak woman wanted to talk to me, but I avoided making eye contact. Honestly, I have no interest in engaging in conversation with ignorant people just to have a conversation. Call me snobby, call me antisocial, but what is the point of speaking to people who you know you'll get into an argument with. Life is stressful enough for me, without getting into an political argument with someone I don't know, and probably wouldn't want as a friend anyway.

The whole late on a Saturday night laundry scene freaked me out anyway. I wonder if I'll end up like the two left wing freaks talking politics. I kind of got the feeling that these people don't talk to very many people anyway, and they were desperate to engage someone, anyone in conversation. That is so depressing. I think I'd rather not talk to anyone than to engage in mindless idiot conversations.

The two left wing freaks both reminded me of that older woman in Jane Austen's story "Emma", you know the older single one who just babbles incessantly. From what I could gather both left wing freaks were over 48 and single. It's like I was staring at my future, and I didn't like what I see.

I definitely need to get married again, or I'll end up like the two left freaks in a laundrymat late on a Saturday night. Heck, I'm not even their age and already I'm doing my laundry late on a Saturday night.

MEMO TO SELF: Do not do your laundry on Saturday night ever again! It's way to depressing!