So my anxiety ratcheted up on Sunday, which was bad. I managed to get myself off to see the Mayan exhibit at the Legion of Honor before it closes. The Mayan stuff is cool and so ancient. They had the cutest little statues with these adorable faces. Of course there was nothing about the Mayan calendar ending in 2012 which pepole are just obsessed about, but I guess it has nothing do with their art.

I had a really bad night on Monday. I felt so sorry myself, getting into this mess with the red-haired guy. I've been so good, trying to be so careful about who I get involved with, and I feel like I really let myself down this time all because I just wanted to have a little fun. It's so unfair because other women can have fun flirts with guys, and end it without the guy constantly calling and wanting more. I always seem to get the obsessive types who are stubborn and can't spell.

I think God is punishing me by sending me a freak so I never do this type of thing again. And I'm like, okay, okay, I learned my lesson, enough already, make him go away, I won't ever do this type of thing again, I promise.

The last time this happened, which was about 5 years, I almost lost a friendship over it. Some guy got interested in me, who as the object of my friend's crush, so I stepped aside. He was mean to me for a long time after I rejected him, but he kind of never stopped trying much to the annoyance of my friend. I don't she ever quite got over it.

Same kind of circumstance. We had partner in class for an hour, and in an hour the guy decided I was someone he wanted to get to know in a serious way. I wasn't even really that interested in him, but he was in me. I mean, he would have been a good friend and all that but that was the extent of my interest.

I swear to god, it never works for me to talk to a guy for an hour unless I'm really interested in him. It just causes so many problems. I just felt so sorry for myself last night and cried myself to sleep. I felt better when I woke up this morning, and decided to just relax. I mean, what's the worse that can happen right? And I'm a survivor, I've been through worse than this. I can take care of myself. I just hope these are my famous last words. Red-haired guy is just darn unpredictable and stubborn. He must have some Taurus in him, even though he's a Virgo. The Taurus men in my life have been famous for never getting over me ever.