I rented Shaolin Soccer and it was such a great movie. I washed the chinese version first which was so much better than US theatrical release. They cut so much stuff out of the chinese version, and all the good parts too that gave the movie nuances. I'm glad I didn't see it in the big theatre because I think I would have been very disappointed.

I also saw "Batman Begins" over the weekend, and I was surprised by how good the movie was. Batman is an American classic, but all the actors were British. The guy who became commissioner Gordon was played by Gary Oldman. Christian Bale played Bruce Wayne. Tom Wilkinson played Carmine Falcone. I believe Katie Holmes was the only American actor.

"Batman Begins" was dark like the comic book, and it was the best Batman since Val Kilmer played him.

I am one short chapter away from finishing my Texas novel. I finished Chapter 12 yesterday, and chapter 13 today. Chapter 13 and 14 are just epilogues anyway to finish the novel. I'm excited! This will the first novel that I have finished. It gives me hope for the other three I started.

Novels are like marathons, way too long and very tiring. Speaking of mararthons I decided to workout at the downtown gym, and had the worst time finding parking because the San Francisco marathon was going on. That was dumb of me! But I like to lift weights at the gym on California street, but I guess never on a Sunday. I'm going to back to Saturday as my weightlifting day so I can take the train downtown.

On Saturday there was apparently a bonmb scare at 9th and Judah. It fouled up the N Judah schedule and I caught the last of it on my way home yesterday this afternoon. I wonder where the bomb scare was.

I think red-haired guy would be so astounded by how often I call M-Square. In one of my last conversations with the red-haired guy was all about him whining about how I never called him, which of course I totally denied. I told him I never called him because he never returned my calls.

I like have to talk to M-Square like every day! And when he's not there I always leave a message and tell him what I'm doing. He told me once that hearing my messages was like I was there with him in LA; cute huh?

And I never wished the red-haired guy "Happy 30-day anniversary", but I did it with M-Square and he wished me the same thing and said "it was sweet".

And now I started signing my emails with "xxxxooooo", but he started it first because he signed one of his emails saying "Miss you!" although now he's taking my lead and signing his emails with "xoxoxoxoxo".

And I'm like is there a difference between signing "xxxxoooo" and "xoxoxoxoxo"? Don't they mean the same thing - love and kisses or love and hugs?

One thing that I think I need to put on my list of my better qualities is I have always been able to find allies at every job I’ve been at. I’m having lunch on Thursday with a woman I worked with on a couple of projects last year, and I’m going to ask her if she’ll be a reference for me. She’ll probably say no because it’s a company policy not to give references, but I’ll be okay with that. I really liked working with this woman, and it will be good for me to tell my job sob story to another person.

Of course all this job stress these last two months have just wrecked havoc with my weight. I stepped on the scale on Friday and just about screamed. I've gained 10 pounds in two months. I was so in denial about it too, even though my acupuncturist even mentioned how fat he thought I was getting.

I didn't want to face my weight gain because it would have meant one more thing to worry bout. But I can't deny it any longer. My size 8 jeans are so cutting off the bloody supply to my legs tight. It's so horrifying to be this heavy again!

I wish I was one of those people who get sick and lose weight when they get stressed. The type that just wants to disappear from a battle. Not me. I'm the cave girl blood type 0 type, who bulks ups and screams "bring it on" while swinging her cave girl club.

When I get stressed out, my body and system become so unbalanced. I went to the vitamin store on Saturday and loaded on stress vitamins and other herbal products that are supposed to help your body deal with stress.

I should have figured I was stressed out when all I did last week was think about having a beer after a work. It's been a long time since I've craved alcohol to chill out, and this disturbs me. Sure, I've been craving ciggies all week but decided not to give into my ciggie fit. But booze? That is scary!

I think I'm getting all needy and codependent too. I think I'm driving Laguna Beach guy nuts, because I so have to call him every day. I decided I needed to stop myself from calling him on Friday, and it was so painful to do that. I don't need to be addicted some guy right now. I have my chocolate addiction to deal with, which led me to eat two huge bags of M&M's with almonds last week. Then there's my ciggie fits and not booze cravings to fuss over. I don't need Laguna Beach boy cravings.

He was really cute though last week when he emailed me and said he had "Brenda on the Brain". How corny and sweet is that? He mentioned something about flying up here which of course just freaked me out, and which he noticed right away. I am way to stressed out be entertaining anyone right now.

M-Square is very supportive in his own way, but I just don't want to see him just yet. I have so many other things to do like trying to figure out my perfect job situation. I haven't done that exercise in ages, and I know I need to do it again because I don't want to end up in another job that I'm going to want to leave in a year. I thought this current job was going to be a place that I'd want to stay for a long time, but I was wrong. I can't make that mistake again the next time around. I am tired of job hopping!

Job stress is just so bad for my writing and zaps all my creativity. Boyfriend stress does that too, but not as bad as job stress.