I just finished my taxes. I got a very small refund last year. I should have renewed my business license, but I didn't. You really get some great tax breaks when you have your own business. Oh well.

I should be glad I'm even getting a refund I guess. I claim 2 on w2 form, and I still end up with a refund. But then again, I have about $1400 in charitable contributions every year. That new donation law really sucks! I guess the charities got tired of getting torn clothing. If I didn't have the charitable deductions, I'm sure I'd owe money on my taxes instead of getting a refund.

I totally hate my desktop! It is so slow. I use my laptop all the time, but I just can't get used to the idea of not having a desktop. That would be so strange. I could just buy a new desktop, but I'm always thinking why bother when I only use my laptop.

My desktop computer is still updating. This is what happens when you don't turn your computer on in months; you spend the whole night having to do all the updates. It is such a drag!

Wow, it's been over a month since I last posted. I've wanted to post but then forgot.

Not much going on really.

I saw the movie "300" and loved it. I am dying to see "Grindhouse" and "Blades of Glory".

On Easter I went to the De Young museum to see the Vivienne Westwood exhibit, and then the made the woman manning the cashier put on the Adam Ant cd so I could hear Antmusic.

I think the beginning of the exhibit would have been so much better if they were playing early 80's english punk music.

I am blogging from my desktop computer which I have not turned on in months, but have to use now to do my taxes. I still have not done my taxes. Can you believe that? I am so bad! I usually have them done by February and now it's April 10 and I still haven't done them.

I got sucked into watching "American Idol" again. A good friend is watching and kept asking me what I thought, so I had to tune in. Hate that!

I'm so glad that freak Antonella got voted off the show. I could not stand that woman mouthing off to Simon Cowell like that. The woman's voice compared to the other strong singers on the show was bad, and she sang with no heart. I think she only lasted this long is because someone put semi-nekkid pictures of her on the internet. I'm sure she put them up herself.

Heard she got offered half a million to be the spokeperson for a porno company. She'll probably take it.

In the last two weeks, there have been two earthquakes here. One just in the last half hour. At least I was at home for this one. It was interesting to see my floor lamp swinging from side to side. The first one happened at work and it was so scary because I think the buildng is built on rollers, and when the earthquake happened I felt my body swing back and forth.

My office buildng will definitely move alot if I'm at work and it's a big one. I have to remember to dive under my desk in case stuff starts falling down.

My boss nominated me for this award at work called a "Spot Bonus Award" for these webpages I designed and wrote for the programs that are worked on by me and my group. I am a web page author! The nomination has to be reviewed by a committee and it was finally approved this week.

So she gave the highest award which was $500 and when I received the check today it was so tiny! Taxes took out 42% of it! Talk about a bummer!

Okay, I guess I need to comment on the scandals regarding SF Mayor Gavin Newsome. Honestly, I don't care who the man is sleeping with. It's like his business. Someone at work said she knows someone who worked at City Hall and that people on Newsome's staff knew abou the affaire as it was going on, and were amazed that the husband didn't know. So what I find interesting is that a Newsome staffer didn't leak the news of the affaire then. Does this mean his staff is that loyal? I don't know. But because it was such public knowledge within City Hall as it was happening, I can't help but wonder why did the news leak now? Was it to cover something else up?

And the media in SF could not talk about anything else and I'm like who the hell cares! I don't. It just made me lose even more respect for the half a horse town media out here. Whatever! I so want to leave San Francisco. The politics disgust me so much! It's so darned hypocritical.

San Francisco, which is supposed to be most liberal city in the world, is having a cow because its mayor had an affaire. How hypocritical is that? The jerk supervisor from my ex-district even called for his resignation. UGH! That made me so ill!

I can't even watch or hear Cokie Robert to this day because of her stupid comments about Bubba Willie's affaire with Monica. I swear to God she sounded more like a woman scorned than a journalist. And I'm like "Honey, he's not your husband, get over it!"

In January I went to see the Anselm Kiefer exhibit at SFMOMA. I first saw his work when I took Modern Art history, so I was interested in seeing his work close up. His symbolism is so very interesting. Quaternity is my favorite piece. Check it exhibit page out - Anselm Kiefer: Heaven and Earth.

I've been on a movie binge lately, trying to see a bunch of movies before the Oscars.

The Departed -great movie! I loved the dialogue. It was so realistic and I thought the writer was on par with Quentin Tarantino or David Mamet. I was so jealous of the writing and the story, until I found out that the story was taken from a Hong Kong movie called "Internal Affairs". I'm getting the movie from Netflix so I can what the differences are. Jack Nicholson was over the top. Mark Wahlberg and Alec Baldwin were total scene stealers. I saw the movie in a half full SF theatre and people laughed at all the "homo" jokes. It's interesting how you can have those kind of jokes in a Scorcese movie and nobody says anything. Whatever. This movie is going on my top movie list. Somehow this movie reminded me of "LA Confidential", which is a huge fave of mine, and I wish I could figure out why.

Letters from Iwo Jima - loved this movie alot, but thought it was way too long. I looked at my watch a couple of times, which is not good. Other than the length it was quite good. It made me want to read the book the movie was based on because I think the book will be quite interesting.

Pan's Labrynth - After all the hype that this movie got, I think I was a little let down when I finally saw it. I really wanted to see more of the weird fairy tale stuff. My friend really loved it, but I'm thinking maybe I didn't really understand it. I don't know. My friend is sure I didn't get the movie. She's probably right.

The Queen - loved it because it was about an event I esperienced. Di's death was such a world event. I thought Helen Mirren was fab! She really did an amazing job of turning herself into a living famous figure.

Dream Girls - I wish I'd seen the original broadway play, so I could compare the movie to the stageplay. After Jennifer Husdon's solo, people clapped. She really did outclass Beyonce in the movie, but I don't know if that's because that part wasn't very well-written. I also saw the other woman who played Eddie Murphy's girlfriend in a bunch of plays at ACT, so it was nice to see her in a big movie.

Charlotte's Web - I had to see it, but I wasn't sure about Julia Roberts as the voice of Charlotte. All the other voices were just right. Not much else to say about the movie other than I loved seeing the story in movie form.

Notes on a Scandal - Brilliant and riveting with two amazing actors in Dame Judi Dench and Cate Blanchett. I'd love to read the book because I think they are probably more juicy comments in print. I'm not sure I got all the comments because they were so Brit and alot about class, but I think I got most of the them. I loved how Judi Dench just so looked so god awfully wrinkled, because it made her character so realistic. But honestly seeing wrinkles on a woman on a huge big screen is just really, really frightening. THe boy was really cute, but I guess I don't see the attraction of illegal age boys.

So yes, I have not felt like blogging this year and I feel guilty. Right now, I am watcihng my guilty pleausre show "The Housewives of Orange County". I am so jealous of Lauri. I love her relationship with George. I wish I had a boyfriend/fiance like him. He is loving and generous, and he's not bad looking. Seriously, I don't think Lauri is not that pretty. I think she sometimes look like a skinny man in drag, but I'm sure she looks much better in person.

I'm watching the finale of "Top Chef" and I feel bad that I didn't watch the whole series, but that Padma chick really turned me off. I just read in her bio that she's written cookbooks and hosted her own show on the Food Network, but honestly listening and watching that woman was such a big, big turnoff! And those outfits .... she makes Nigella Lawson look like a puritan.

Whatever I'm sure she's there just to get guys to watch.

I just saw a car commercial and memo to guys: a Honda, any Honda is not a "chick magnet".

I'm thinking Nordstrom is going through the same financial issues as The Gap, only we don't know about it because Nordstrom is a private company. I was a loyal Nordstrom shopper for years, until I couldn't find anything in natural fibers anymore. Nordstrom started carrying polyester stylish but cheap looking clothes. Yes, they were fashionable but in a throw away fashion kind of way, not in a fashionable classic way.

Even my standby store Talbots is failing me. I can't find anything in there that I like anymore. Macy's is becoming my store of choice. Maybe bankruptcy did well for them because all of sudden, their clothes got better.

I mean, I don't think my fashion sense has changed other than I'm probably not as conservative as I used to be. I'm actually trying to be just a bit more trendy and broke down and bought a pair of DKNY Soho jeans with wide boot legs. Boot leg jeans just look better on me now than straight leg jeans and they feel fashionable. The DKNY jeans were also stretchy and I normally hate stretchy jeans, but these jeans didn't feel so polyster. In truth, I only bought them because I still can't see myself paying over $50 for a pair of jeans and these were only $48. They fit too and were so comfortable. One of these days I guess I'll have to see if a $150 pair of jeans really makes a difference.

I was in Beverly Hills over the weekend wearing my new DKNY stretchy widelegged jeans, my new brown suede boots, a brown cashmere sweater, and grey lacy camisole top topped with a vintage pearl necklace I bought at Gallery of Jewels on Union Street a few years back, and I felt fairly fashionable. Talk about strange because I've only ever felt dowdy looking ni LA, and this was the first time I've ever felt fashionable there.

I love the new jeans now because they don't sit at your waist. I've never had the kind of body, even at my thinnest, where I was narrow in the waist. I've always been straight up and down, and most jeans now sit below the waist which is so nice. I also have a short rise and could only wear certain brands, now I actually fit into most brands.

I mean at my thinnest in college, the only jeans that ever really fit me properly were mens jeans. Mens jeans fit my waist, butt and my legs back then, and women's jeans fit in the waist and were way too baggy every where else. I still remember the pair of YSL jeans I constantly wore when I was 19 years old; they were men's size 28 and were so comfortable and perfect.

The media has recently been bemoaning the fact that Gap has lost touch with its core base, and I'm like "Hello!" That was like fairly obvious a few years ago when the Gap's market share started to drop, but nobody thought to write about it back then.

You gotto love how the Gap won't even admit to the fact that they might have made a mistake.

<<"We've never veered from the core brand essence of Gap," insisted Stacy MacLean, a spokeswoman for the company. "We certainly think the brand has staying power."
On the other hand, she acknowledged that Gap made a point of going after customers ages 18 to 25, and that this strategy might not have worked out as planned. "We're re-examining our strategy, our tactics, everything," MacLean said. "We're definitely at a crossroads." >>

Ding dongs! Just admit your strategy to chase the younger crowd failed! Or maybe The Gap is taking a play out of Slick Willy's playbook and this is their version of saying "I did not have sex with that woman." Hell yes, your strategy failed and now you are on the selling block.

I think this is what The Gap was after - from the NY Times "stores like Primark are leaders in the quick-growing “fast fashion” industry, selling cheap garments that can be used and discarded without a second thought. Consumers, especially teenagers, love the concept, pioneered also by stores like H&M internationally and by Old Navy and Target in the United States, since it allows them to shift styles with speed on a low budget. " The problem is what worked for Old Navy did not work for The Gap's main stores. The NY Times observed that teenagers change their styles every six months, and The Gap just couldn't keep up.

Of course the day after I wrote that my job wasn't so bad, I had a really bad day at work. The senior VP of my division gets all freaked out because he thought I was going to program manage this vendor, yells at my director who then overreacts to the situation, and the next thing I know I am in someone's office trying to explain myself.

I was trying to fly under the radar at this crazy place, and I keep getting pulled in to weird stuff and vps throw my name about like it was garbage. I actually thought the senior vp didn't even know who the hell I was, but I guess not because he was talking about me.

I swear, people project onto me and ascribe more ambition to me than I've ever had. I just want to do my analytical work and be left one. I don't like being in the spotlight. I'd rather support people and have them take the heat and be on the front line. I like working behind the scenes. I don't need to manage or be known or get recoginition at his job.

It's not that I don't want recognition, sure I want that, but for my novels so a publisher will want to publish my books or make my script into a movie. I don't want "work recognition"! It's a huge bother and really not worth all that much effort unless you're going to use it to become a VP or something, or a director. I want to get paid and I want to leave my job at 5 pm and I don't want to deal with stupid political intrigue at work.

I feel like the universe is testing me and saying, "are you sure you want to stay at this pretty awful job, because it will get worse?" And I'm saying back, "I don't care about recognition, I want my free time, I want to be able to leave at 5 pm and not take work home, I want time to write my novels and screenplays and still be able to workout and lose weight on a daily basis. I want this job because I can do it with my eyes closed and I get paid enough to pay my bills and have a little bit left over. STOP TRYING TO TEST ME!"

Okay, it's been ages since I've been blogging and so much has happened. On January 9 I received a call from a company that I'd sent my resume to in 2005. What a hoot! They had kept it for what, two years, and now they were finally calling for an interview. Talk about flattering, and awkward too because the woman who tipped me off about the job no longer worked at the company. T worked directly for the CEO and they had a huge falling out and she quit in a huff, claiming that the CEO was trying to cheat her out of her commissions.

The CEO knew T and I were friends and even asked about her. How very weird and awkward because I'm sure he thought that T told me all kinds of horrible things about him, which was totally true. But I didn't want to let him know that. When he asked if I had talked to T in a long time, I truthfully told me I hadn't talk to her in a long tim which was actually true.

I went to a pre-interview on January 16 and decided that I did not want to work for another startup. I don't want to work 1o-12 hours a day and not having any energy and time for my novel writing. This was a big decision for me because 1) the job would have probably paid $5-10K more a year 2) I would have learned a tremendous amount and 3) I am so over my job right now. But ... it's hard to give up a job that I can do with my eyes closed, pays well and where I can leave at 5 pm and not take any work home. I am choosing my free time over a higher income, and this is something I would never have done three years ago.

It was a very tough decision because I had to give up so much of what I considered to an integral part of my work personna. Now I'm even thinking about trying to see if I can swing it with a part time job so I can have more time to write.

I was supposed to do a three-hour interview on January 24 and I told me today that due to personal reasons I did not want to continue the interview procees. Talk about strange because I know that I could have had this job if I wanted, Oh well. I suppose there is something to be said about having a job that allows me to live a more balanced life.

Then a firiend of mine saw a job advert for a job that would also sounded alright, until I realized that the job entailed sitting in 6 hour meetings every two weeks. I hate, absolutely hate meetings that go mor than two hours, so I told her thanks but no thanks.

I felt so flattered that this company was totally hot to hire me, and that has been a good feeling. But things have gotten better at work so I'm not as unhappy as I used to be.

I tried to post last night becauase it's been ages since I've written, but Blogger was not working quite right. What is up with that? But I saved what I wrote, and I will post it separately.

Happy New Years 2007! I'm at home watching the Rose Bowl. One of these days I'm going to see the Rose Bowl Parade in person so I can those beautiful floats made from flowers.

I went to a New Years Eve party which was nice and peaceful, until midnight when people were screaming "Happy New Years" all over Portrero Hills. At least there weren't any gunshots. I even drank a little champagne.

I am so bummed about going to work tomorrow. It was so relaxing to have the whole week off.

I am glad to see 2006 end, and am looking forward to a better 2007.

A very good friend of mine laughed at me when I told her I spent most of 2006 mourning breaking up with M-Square. She said "You had a crush on someone while you were supposedly dating, you lined someone up right before you broke up because you hate hard landings and then, and then three months later you were hot for MBA guy at work."

So here's the real truth.

1) Yes, I kind of had a crush on this guy at work while things were hot and heavy with M-Square. I don't know how it happened, but we were talking on the phone and we connected. Nothing happened, but I did feel bad about it. And now we're working together a ton which is great because he is so cool to work with.

2) And yes, I am one of those who believes that if things start heading south, get a "lifeboat". I never break up a relationship without a new guy in the wings. And if my intuition is working right, I line a new guy up just before a guy decides to dump me. A girl's got to have something else to think about besides the breakup of a relationship. I did kind of of have an "possible lifeboat" in the wings when things went bad with M-Square. It was too soon to do that, but old habits die hard. My lifeboat guy gave me a soft landing instead of a hard one, and it was wonderful for a few months to have it.

3) MBA guy at work just happened out of the blue. I wasn't expecting it. I went to the guy's welcome party and didn't feel connected. But when we started talking and couldn't stop, I knew the guy was a soul mate. I just don't talk for hours to a guy without us having some past life connection. And it was a good connection too because we just got along so well and there was no weirdness between us. And MBA guy at work went from May and is kind of actually still going, although it's not as intense anymore. I did talk to MBA guy before Christmas at a division party, but it was short and he apologized for not spending more time with me because he's been like totally swamped with work. I totally love MBA guy but as friend I think, and not as boyfriend material. We've been there and done that in our past ives and made it work, so we don't have to do it again. That's kind of a nice thought isn't it? I had a past life where my relationship worked so well that there wasn't any karma to carry over.

Okay, so I didn't really mourn M-Square and I'm sure the boy is not mourning our breakup either. I wanted to mourn but the fates kept sending me guys to fall in love with, so what's a girl to do?

At home today cleaning up and getting a huge pile of stuff to take to the Salvation Army for my year-end charity deduction.

I'm so psyched Barry Zito is going to stay in the SF Bay Area and play for the SF Giants. He'll have to hit the ball now, because in American League they have designated hitters for pitchers.

Watched the body of Gerald Ford pull up at the church in Palm Desert. Betty Ford looked so old. It was kind of sad because I think he was a nice guy who just happened to be President of the US at such an interesting time. Talk about being in the right place at the right time.

The news channels have been speculating for hours about when Sadam Hussein is going to be hanged. How weird. I had no idea that there's a state that lets you choose between lethal injection and hanging. If the hanging is videotaped, you know it will show up on YouTube eventually. The man was a butcher like Hitler and Stalin, and I don't understand why people are making such a fuss over him. Talk about America trying to impose their moral standards on the world. In Hussein's part of the world, they execute people all the time. The same people who love multiculturalism are saying he shouldn't be executed. Isn't that hypocritical? I mean, they hate that America exports its values around the world, but I guess it's okay that we export our value of no execution. I don't get it. Multicultuarlism isn't selective.