I was supposed to work out on Thursday, but my anxiety started to kick in again. At least it happened after I had writte my four pages for the day. Then I just went home and watched TV all night.

"Queen of the Damned" was on and although the movie is sucky, the soundtrack rocks! I was going to buy it until I found out that the Korn guy who sings the vocals for the movie, isn't on the soundtrack cd. Some kind of contractual issues prevented him from being on the cd; what a drag!

I've been having wild dreams all week. I don't remember any of them except that I wake up thinking to myself, what a weird dream. I've been feeling so BLAH this week, and thinking that my life is do drecky! I don't think it's always been this awful. I seem to remember being happy not too long ago.

I still think of the red-haired guy, and I'm sure that's the main cause of my general misery. Honestly, thoughts of the freakazoid will not leave my mind. It's so maddening! I feel so haunted. A friend of mine whose mother was some kind of famous psychic in Paris suggested that he could do a clearing for me. He did it for free which was nice, but he didn't find anything. He told me my misery was internally driven. I hate that! Why would I want to make myself miserable?

Anyway the psychic clearing must have done something, because on the way home I stopped at Borders to look for a book that I need for my Greek Drama. They were out of it at the college bookstore, and a huge bookstore downtown told me that it was on backorder from the publisher for two weeks. But at Borders the book was half off, how great was that? Good thing too because the prof assigned a play out of it this week.

I'm reading "Philoctetes" by Sophocles. I'm also reading my way through CS Lewis' Narnia books. After my CS Lewis kick, I think I'm going on Graham Greene kick since he's my new writing inspiration. Did I mention this before? The New Yorker did an article on him and wrote that Graham Greene wrote 4 handrwritten pages a day.

I like that I'm writing a ton even though I'm fairly depressed. I just hope I don't have to be depressed to write because that wouldn't be a good thing for me.