I'm tired today. I ate too mucy yummy fattening food at the bbq yesterday. We ended up watching the SF Giants/SL Cardinals game. It's exciting to think that the home team is one game away from getting into the world series. My poor beloved A's are out, but the SF Giants are in, so the half of me is happy at least.
I would love to go the world series game, but tickets are probably going to so expensive. I'm already going to La Boheme on Thursday, and shelled out $70 for that ticket. None of my close girlfriends really like baseball, and would only attend if they get a free ticket. It's kind of drag sometimes to be a girl who likes sports. I really don't know why more women don't enjoy sports. I played sports growing up, so I appreciate people who play sports. But I was lucky that way growing up. Both my parents were sports enthusiasts, and played competitive sports growing up. I'm just a product of their sports attitudes, and their habits since I also grew up watching sports programs on TV.
Sometimes I think most women don't like sports because it's a guy thing, and not a girl thing. Or maybe it has to do with women having to compete for attention with sports with their man. I like watching sports, so I consider sporting events an enjoyable activity you do with your guy. But I'm weird that way I think. I mean, I watch sports on TV whether I'm with a guy or not. How weird is that for a chickie girl?
Monday, October 14, 2002
Sunday, October 13, 2002
No Mr. Welsh from Trainspotting unfortunately. The bar was filled to the capacity when we got there, and there was a line going down the block to get in. It was definitely poor planning on our part, but who knew he would get that kind of crowd. We ended up at some bar, where you could buy beers for $3 and well drinks for $2.50. It was my kind of bar; dark, small and the drinks were cheap.
My Tibetan Energy Yoga class was cancelled as well, which bummed me out. To make up for this loss I signed up for another seminar in November, with the man I learned tibetan yoga techniques back in May. His office recommended I attend a companion seminar being held on the previous day with Russell Targ, who wrote Miracles of the Mind. So I signed up for that one as well.
The blue angels were buzzing around yesterday afternoon for Fleet Week, so I got up on my roof and watched them. They fly with so much precision and speed, so they are very cool to watch. I remember watching them as a child, so I'm amazed that the program is still around. They were flying so low, you could see the numbers on the bottom of their planes.
I feel better today. I made myself sleep alot, which always helps my mood because then I dream weird dreams. I think longer periods of sleep help my subconsicous work itself out in dreams. I've gone back to my half hour ritual of praying and meditation again. Last week I was so stressed out about the broken fridge and my screenplay outline, that I stopped. Quieting my mind by prayer and meditation relaxes me and helps to get rid of stress.
My writing group is having a bbq at a member's house this afternoon. It's a sunny day, and it will be fun. My writing friend and her husband just bought the house last year, and although it's in Oakland and not SF, at least they've got a place they can call their own. I prefer not to live anywhere else in the SF Bay area except in the city and county of San Francisco, but with housing prices the way they are here, it's hard to be that picky when you're buying a place.
My Tibetan Energy Yoga class was cancelled as well, which bummed me out. To make up for this loss I signed up for another seminar in November, with the man I learned tibetan yoga techniques back in May. His office recommended I attend a companion seminar being held on the previous day with Russell Targ, who wrote Miracles of the Mind. So I signed up for that one as well.
The blue angels were buzzing around yesterday afternoon for Fleet Week, so I got up on my roof and watched them. They fly with so much precision and speed, so they are very cool to watch. I remember watching them as a child, so I'm amazed that the program is still around. They were flying so low, you could see the numbers on the bottom of their planes.
I feel better today. I made myself sleep alot, which always helps my mood because then I dream weird dreams. I think longer periods of sleep help my subconsicous work itself out in dreams. I've gone back to my half hour ritual of praying and meditation again. Last week I was so stressed out about the broken fridge and my screenplay outline, that I stopped. Quieting my mind by prayer and meditation relaxes me and helps to get rid of stress.
My writing group is having a bbq at a member's house this afternoon. It's a sunny day, and it will be fun. My writing friend and her husband just bought the house last year, and although it's in Oakland and not SF, at least they've got a place they can call their own. I prefer not to live anywhere else in the SF Bay area except in the city and county of San Francisco, but with housing prices the way they are here, it's hard to be that picky when you're buying a place.
Friday, October 11, 2002
I just received feedback from my screenwriting teacher. She said my outline was "good", and suggested a few changes.
She didn't like the beginning, which is fine. I could cut three scenes from the beginning, and start where she suggested. Then I'd have three extra scenes to fill in, which I can do since the screenplay as it is now is really tight. I had a question for her about my first two opening scenes, which I'd like to keep. My only other question was if I cut those three scenes at the beginning, then two scenes which I put in at the end to wrap up what happened in the beginning are no longer necessary. At least, that's what my gut instinct is telling me. I have a thing about wrapping all the story lines up. Many writers don't do this, and some writers feel that you shouldn't neatly wrap up all the loose ends in a story because then your story becomes too neat and organized. But too bad. I like my story lines wrapped up. Besides, I think I can wrap a story line up and still make the ending of the story line ambiguous and not neat, so it's not too contrived.
Five new scenes to add in. Interesting. My screenwriting teacher also said that "every man needs a cave", and that my main character should have one. He sort of already does, but it's not straightforward. I could use the extra scenes to give my main guy more time in his cave.
I was dreading my screenwriting teacher's feedback, but it wasn't too bad. Of course, this is the time when a writer realizes that certain things about their work are sacred and can't be touched. I think I'm attached to my opening two scenes. I've managed to let go of having a voice over in the beginning, which I totally love in a movie. My screenwriting teacher convinced me that my voiceover wasn't justified. And now my opening scenes with the baseball team must go too. My screenwriting teacher said from the very beginning, back in February, that she thought the baseball team scenes were unnecessary, and now they're almost all gone. Sad!
But perhaps she's right. Baseball is just the background to the story, and it really doesn't have to be shown. But gosh darn it!!! I loved my baseball team scenes! A friend at one of my jobs convinced me of the wisdom of picking your battles wisely, and that not every battle has to be fought. Maybe I need to heed my work friend's wisdom now. At least now, I don't have to worry about getting permission from the owners of Pac Bell park to use their baseball stadium and facilities in my story. I can just say "Outside of the baseball park", and not say it's Pac Bell park. Using famous places is such a hassle. You first have to get permssion to the use the place in your story, and then if your movie does get sold, the cost of filming at the famous play has to be added to the movie budget. And what's worse, the famous place people might not even give you permission to mention their location in your story or let a movie be filmed there. It's so not worth the bother really.
By taking the baseball scenes completely out, I also won't get the severe scrutiny from the die hard baseball fan community either. Those people are so persnickety about getting the baseball stuff right.
Still, I hate losing my baseball team scenes. Never mind that they weren't very accurate, they were sort of my favorites. Sigh!
She didn't like the beginning, which is fine. I could cut three scenes from the beginning, and start where she suggested. Then I'd have three extra scenes to fill in, which I can do since the screenplay as it is now is really tight. I had a question for her about my first two opening scenes, which I'd like to keep. My only other question was if I cut those three scenes at the beginning, then two scenes which I put in at the end to wrap up what happened in the beginning are no longer necessary. At least, that's what my gut instinct is telling me. I have a thing about wrapping all the story lines up. Many writers don't do this, and some writers feel that you shouldn't neatly wrap up all the loose ends in a story because then your story becomes too neat and organized. But too bad. I like my story lines wrapped up. Besides, I think I can wrap a story line up and still make the ending of the story line ambiguous and not neat, so it's not too contrived.
Five new scenes to add in. Interesting. My screenwriting teacher also said that "every man needs a cave", and that my main character should have one. He sort of already does, but it's not straightforward. I could use the extra scenes to give my main guy more time in his cave.
I was dreading my screenwriting teacher's feedback, but it wasn't too bad. Of course, this is the time when a writer realizes that certain things about their work are sacred and can't be touched. I think I'm attached to my opening two scenes. I've managed to let go of having a voice over in the beginning, which I totally love in a movie. My screenwriting teacher convinced me that my voiceover wasn't justified. And now my opening scenes with the baseball team must go too. My screenwriting teacher said from the very beginning, back in February, that she thought the baseball team scenes were unnecessary, and now they're almost all gone. Sad!
But perhaps she's right. Baseball is just the background to the story, and it really doesn't have to be shown. But gosh darn it!!! I loved my baseball team scenes! A friend at one of my jobs convinced me of the wisdom of picking your battles wisely, and that not every battle has to be fought. Maybe I need to heed my work friend's wisdom now. At least now, I don't have to worry about getting permission from the owners of Pac Bell park to use their baseball stadium and facilities in my story. I can just say "Outside of the baseball park", and not say it's Pac Bell park. Using famous places is such a hassle. You first have to get permssion to the use the place in your story, and then if your movie does get sold, the cost of filming at the famous play has to be added to the movie budget. And what's worse, the famous place people might not even give you permission to mention their location in your story or let a movie be filmed there. It's so not worth the bother really.
By taking the baseball scenes completely out, I also won't get the severe scrutiny from the die hard baseball fan community either. Those people are so persnickety about getting the baseball stuff right.
Still, I hate losing my baseball team scenes. Never mind that they weren't very accurate, they were sort of my favorites. Sigh!
Writing feels like I'm being crucified somehow. It's incredibly lonely and painful to bare your soul on paper, and I have constant thoughts which go something like "Oh god, why have you forsaken me? Why can't I just be like everyone else, and watch TV and have no inclination to express my creativing in such a revealing way. God, why did you abandon me? You know I'm a sissy, a wuss, and I hate pain and I hate being criticized. You know my ego is more fragile than glass sliver." Then I start wondering if an experience I had in my childhood is to blame for these feelings. Let me explain.
When I was 12 and going through that hormonal raging period, my aunt and uncle and their family had moved into our house. My uncle had just finished his residency to be a doctor, and they needed a place to live until he could pass the state medical bar exam and get a job. My uncle is a deeply religious catholic, and he went to mass constantly. I started going with him and my cousins, and became for a brief time like a born again catholic.
We went to Novena mass on Wednesday, some other service on Friday and of course church on Sunday. I even sang in my catholic church choir that year. When Easter came around that year, we went to Stations of the Cross mass and I became really caught up in the whole thing, so caught up that I used sob uncontrollably during the whole mass. I remember getting this idea in my silly 12 year old head that to really one with Jesus Christ, I needed a sign. So catholic huh, to want a sign. I remember going to the library, and looking up catholic signs and miracles. In this one book, I read about people who received stigmata in their hands and/or feet. Since it was easter, I decided that I wanted a stigmata to appear in my hands or feet so I could experience crucifixion with Jesus. Then I could go into the nunnery and be a bride of christ forever. Don't all young catholic girls fantasize about being chosen to be a nun, a bride of christ, a servant of the lord, pure, chaste and celibate for the rest of your life?
I remember praying every night and at each mass I went to, for god to give me stigmata. I remember wantng to really know what it was like to be crucified like Jesus. Of course, I never got my stigmata and well, then I discovered boys. It then occurred to me that maybe being a nun wasn't such a good idea. I was supremely disappointed I wasn't chosen to be a bride of christ and have stigmata, but then maybe feeling the pain of crucifixion wouldn't have been such a good idea either.
Is God now granting my wish and making me feel the pain of crucifixion in my writing? Had I known at age 12 it was going to be this painful, I wouldn't have prayed for it Does this mean be careful of what you might wish for, because you might get it some time before you die? What a scary thought!
When I was 12 and going through that hormonal raging period, my aunt and uncle and their family had moved into our house. My uncle had just finished his residency to be a doctor, and they needed a place to live until he could pass the state medical bar exam and get a job. My uncle is a deeply religious catholic, and he went to mass constantly. I started going with him and my cousins, and became for a brief time like a born again catholic.
We went to Novena mass on Wednesday, some other service on Friday and of course church on Sunday. I even sang in my catholic church choir that year. When Easter came around that year, we went to Stations of the Cross mass and I became really caught up in the whole thing, so caught up that I used sob uncontrollably during the whole mass. I remember getting this idea in my silly 12 year old head that to really one with Jesus Christ, I needed a sign. So catholic huh, to want a sign. I remember going to the library, and looking up catholic signs and miracles. In this one book, I read about people who received stigmata in their hands and/or feet. Since it was easter, I decided that I wanted a stigmata to appear in my hands or feet so I could experience crucifixion with Jesus. Then I could go into the nunnery and be a bride of christ forever. Don't all young catholic girls fantasize about being chosen to be a nun, a bride of christ, a servant of the lord, pure, chaste and celibate for the rest of your life?
I remember praying every night and at each mass I went to, for god to give me stigmata. I remember wantng to really know what it was like to be crucified like Jesus. Of course, I never got my stigmata and well, then I discovered boys. It then occurred to me that maybe being a nun wasn't such a good idea. I was supremely disappointed I wasn't chosen to be a bride of christ and have stigmata, but then maybe feeling the pain of crucifixion wouldn't have been such a good idea either.
Is God now granting my wish and making me feel the pain of crucifixion in my writing? Had I known at age 12 it was going to be this painful, I wouldn't have prayed for it Does this mean be careful of what you might wish for, because you might get it some time before you die? What a scary thought!
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