My friend S and I did a 2.5 hour channeling on Wednesday. Channelings are very interesting, in case you haven't been involved in a session. All kinds of strange and fantastic information comes through. I told her we needed to tape it because it would be so hard to remember all of it.

One of interesting things we saw was images of Egypt, ancient Egypt. At one point, S said a being was showing her the sun, and rays emanating from the sun with a man underneath. It took us awhile to figure out this was the mythical RA being, who has been written about and channeled by other people.

So here's what came out in the channeling. RA was married to this woman under Eygyptian law and they had children, but he seemed to have also fathered other children with other women as well. He was trying to create a super race of beings, all with his DNA, which meant the children would have great powers, great psychic ability, etc.

RA wanted to bring monotheism to Egypt, but we saw that Egypt and the human race was not ready to monotheism. RA's heart was in the right place, and we got that RA's heart is always in the right place, but it was too much too soon. RA wanted his psychic children to serve in his temple, and bring all the different gods and goddesses of ancient Egypt under him. RA thought that by having one god, all the fighting between the various people who served in the different temples of gods and goddesses would stop. I mean, it was a noble idea.

But RA's wife, whoever she was, stopped him. RA's wife, companion, whoever that woman was, knew that the world wasn't ready for monotheism. Some of his children were not suited to serve in the RA temple, and were more interested in serving in the temple of Anubis for example. She knew that if she allowed RA's plan to go through that some of the children, and they weren't all hers, would be so unhappy in the RA temple and would probably kill themselves or rebel and overthrow RA just to get out of the temple.

And this she couldn't allow. She loved RA, despite all the other women, despite the fact that she was expected to mother all of his children, even in they weren't her own, she loved him. We weren't sure if she loved in the sense that "love" is used now in the modern sense, but "loved" in a more ancient sense meaning she wanted to obey because 1) he was her husband, companion, mate; 2) he was head of the temple, king, dynasty; and 3) he understood her, he got her and despite his other behaviour valued her above all women.

So she forbade RA to keep all the children at his temple, and when the children were five years old, she "sorted" them and distributed them around to the various temple where they would go to mystery school and become priests and priestesses in the various temples.

So my friend S, who was doing the reading with me, was a daughter of RA who wanted to serve in the temple of Anubis. And RA cursed her because she was the most gifted of all his children, and he wanted her to be the head of the temple after his death. But S refused and rebelled, and we saw that head of the temple of RA had always been male and never female.

We kept trying to find out why RA would allow his wife/companion to stop him, and the only answer we could come up with was because his wife/companion was as powerful as he was, and he knew that she protected him and he needed her protection.

We saw that if RA had gotten his wish for monotheism, that the Egyptian culture would not have lasted as long as it did and would not be influential as it is now centuries later. By keeping polytheism in place, RA's wife/companion preserved the Eygptian culture for generations to come and ensured that the fascination for all thing ancient to do with ancient Egypt would continue to fascinate people through the end of time.

Interesting, huh? You never know if what you see or hear in these sessions is true or not. We saw how emotional RA was and how he kind of still was mad at his wife/companion because she never supported him. My friend S said that RA kept his wife/companion busy at the temple so she had to sneak out to see them. S thinks that RA deliberately prevented his wife/companion from seeing the children as his way of getting revenge on her.

But even if RA's wife/companion couldn't see the children in person, they were all psychically linked and she had taught them to contact her mentally which all the children did. So RA's wife/companion knew what was going on with her children at all times, and the children showed her mentally what they were learning so she learned everything they learned. And RA's wife/companion knew how to call the spirits, something which RA couldn't do.

We saw the timeline of RA's temple from beginning to end and that to be head of the temple you had to be a direct descendent of RA and carry his DNA. We also saw a staff that the head of the temple had to possess. The highpoint of the RA timeline was in the middle, but by the end of the temple days, head priests didn't necessarily have to have RA's DNA to be the head of the temple. Getting to be head of the temple was very competitive. Everything about RA's temple seemed to be very competitive since they had not yet learned to serve the light or source and there was alot of human ego involved.

I need to research all this stuff to see what other channelers have said and if there are any parallels in egyptian history.

I'm starting up writing again. But it's just so depressing. I feel like I am climbing up this huge, huge mountain and I have no idea how am I going to get up to the summit. But there's this something inside of me that says I need to keep slogging away and that it doesn't matter whether I am successful or not; the point is to keep trying.

THIS IS HUGE FOR ME! I like being successful. I have been very successful in my own way at so many things. I hate this. It's like the first time I got a C in college. Talk about shocking. I mean I got a C in art class, but that was because I couldn't draw. Getting that grade was a huge wake up call, and I never got a C again ever. I hate failure! It sucks!

Writing is such a huge process. The writing of anything is such a process. I just submitted three writing pieces for the self-published book that my writing group in Carmel wants to put out, and they were so hard to write. I felt like I was leaving pieces of my soul on the page. When I read each piece out loud to edit, I thought I was going to cry. I could hear the pain in my words, the sadness. I was reliving my own memories by reading my own writing.

And I hate getting emotional. I'm an aquarian, and I have five planets in aquarius, which means I am air sign. NO EMOTION. Emotions are weird, they are what other people have, and there I was having them.

I feel like I am back in acting class when I wrote my monologue piece, Art is Scary. The exercise was to write what we felt about our art, and I wrote "art is scary because he makes me do things I don't want to do." I left acting because I couldn't lay my soul bare on stage without a lot of work, without completely letting go. And I could let go, and I did let go, but it was so tiring, and honestly, I didn't know if I could do it night after night on stage like how you are supposed to do in acting.

So I went to writing because my acting teacher told me I could let go easier on the page than I ever could on stage. But I don't know if he was right. It's hard to let to go, and writing is way worse than acting because if you write every day it means having to let go every day. And some days I'm just way too tired to let go. Letting go taxes not only my brain but makes me get emotional, and I'm not supposed to be an emotional person.

I just got something. Okay, I'm not a normally emotional person but I understand how and why people get emotional and I'm thinking I can use this understanding somehow and translate it into my writing. There is something here for me which I have to explore.

I am just rambling now and indulging in a little, okay maybe more than a little self pity. BOO HOO for me, poor struggling writer. Thank god I've got a semi-decent job so at least I don't have a lot of economic stress in my life. Or maybe I'm just a lazy git and I just so hate writing every day. It's like exercising every day. Sometimes I'm in the mood to do it every day and sometime I'm not. Writing is getting like exercise for me. Sometimes I'm in the mood and sometimes I'm not.

It was so shocking to read this afternoon that Natasha Richardson had passed on. She was so young, way to young to die. I had a skiing accident while taking my first ski lesson on the kiddie slopes and it messed up my knee so bad, that I haven't been able to really run because of the injury since that time. My left knee was pretty banged up to start from playing basketball in highschool, and then getting water in my knee from playing field hockey in college. But the ski injury was the worse.

My prayers go out to Natasha's friends and family, especially for her husband Liam Neeson and her two sons. It's so, so, very tragic.

I am really getting into American Idol this year. I was a little bit into it last year, and I sort of faded after the auditions. I love the nationwide auditions which can sometimes be the best shows of the season. However this year, there are so many cuties that I am going to watch. David Cook wasn't even good looking last year till he got a new hair cut.

Memo to American Idol guys: It's a sad truth but on a not so hot guy, a good hair cut can transform you into hottie status. David Cook is a prime example. I think I read somewhere that people thought David Cook was just an ordinary schlubby looking kind of chubby dude, then he got a great hair cut and the next think you know, he wins American Idol. Not that David Archuleta wasn't cute, but he was way too young to fantasize about for the not in your teens set.

Season 8 has three decent hotties with great hair:
Danny Gokey - midwestern, great hair, great voice, love the glasses, chubby cute nerdy types with talent and an in-your-face sweet personality is any girl's fantasy. Plus, poor dude has lost his wife so he totally brings out the sympathy vote. The guy is a church choir director, can it get any better? He is a keeper in every way.

Kris Allen - wow, he is a really cute, I'd be screaming too if I was in the theater, plus the man can definitely sing and comes across as so sincere, love the tousled just got of bed gelled hair, works for me.

Adam Lambert - best hair out of all the guys, he's a rocker dude but not so dirty and drugged out or liquored up, plus unbelievable heavy metal singing voice, have you seen his parents, not sure where he got his looks from but it definitely wasn't them or that dad of his just has so let himself go in his middle age.

I love Anoop Desai, the guy can sing and it's so fun that he' s hindu india because it's kind of their year with "Slumdog Millonaire" getting the Oscar and Bobby Jindal become one of the up and coming stars of the GOP. But I don't think Anoop is going to win because he just doesn't have the stage presence of Danny, Kris or Adam. Those guys know how to work a stage all the time, and with Anoop it's just hit or miss.

I'm thinking it's going be an all guy top 5 which is fine by me.

Speaking of the guys, when some of them stand next to Ryan Seacrest you get to see how short and skinny that man really is. OMG, Anoop and Adam totally tower over him and they look so much bigger next to him.

And Simon is adorable as ever. I think he wants to date Paula but that would be such an odd match because they are so different. Love the new judge although I think can be as cruel as Simon.

I loved that the guys sang Michael Jackson songs. It's so weird to hear Michael Jackson songs sung by guys with more masculine voices. The songs are so different and they have such a different vibe.

How much money do you think the American Idol producers and iTunes are getting for selling the songs and performances. I didn't get into buying the songs or videos last year, but I am lining their pockets this year. I wonder if the contestants are getting money for these songs and performances.

I was a huge F. Scott Fitzgerald fan in my younger days and thought I had read all of his works, but I don't remember his short story "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". I might have to find this story at the library and read it. Short stories were F. Scott's best writing pieces. His last novel really turned off towards him. He was a brilliant writer but towards the end of his career he just became a little too self-indulgent for my taste.

My new calendar shows the jewish holiday of PURIM coming up on Tuesday March 10. It reminded me of this book I read in college called "The Trial of God" by Elie Wiesel.

From a review on Amazon.com
"As with all of Elie Wiesel's work, the central premise is to explore the question of Jews and their suffering throughout history. "The Trial of God" is an interesting departure from his better-known works, in that it is a drama, a play staged during the Jewish holiday of Purim. Based on events that Wiesel witnessed while in Auschwitz, "The Trial of God" accuses the Creator of the Universe of being guilty of neglect to his chosen people. And even though the trial takes place in the seventeenth century, the modern world is very much alive in the facts and accusations."

I loved this play when I read it which was years ago, and I'm wondering if I need to read it again in honor of Purim holiday to know if my reaction might have changed with the passing years.

Check it out on amazon.com - The Trial of God by Elie Wiesel.

So here's my cynical take on what is going to happen in 2012.

Everyone says that people on this planet are developing psychic abilities as we get closer to 2012. You know, stuff like channeling, intuition, manifesting things that you want, getting one or more or all the clairs - clairvoyance (visions of the future), clairaudient (voices telling you what the future is), clairsentience (feeling the future in your body, something smells bad, etc), claircognizance (gut feeling, knowing why but not knowing how you know, you just know), etc.

So that's a good thing right? In theory yes, but in reality not really. Hollywood really is a predictor of future trends because the movie "Bruce Almighty" sort of outlined what would happen if people all of sudden got "god-like" powers.

Things kind of went haywire when Bruce played god. He didn't really have discernment, he didn't think the consequences through of what he was doing, he acted out of a selfish place with his god-like powers.

Okay, now think of having enhanced psychic ability kinda sorta similar to playing god. Don't you think that we are going to have a planet going haywire? I think that kind of world has already started.

If you've ever meditated, ever studied spiritual topics, you know that having enhanced psychic abilities requires a person to be pure, mature, and to have discernment so as not to use your abilities to do harm. You have to be in the light, act out of an unselfish place, have light down to the adamantine particles of your being, so you're not acting out of a dark place.

What if the people getting all these great abilities weren't that pure, weren't of the light? What kind of world do you think these people couldn't help but create? I mean it's not like these people are evil, no far from it, they just aren't mostly light.

To me 2012 is going to be about are you in the light and for the light, or are you not of light and of darkness instead. It's your choice. You have a choice at every moment to make a decision from a place of light and not from darkness. I didn't say good, because the light is not always about being good. The light is about making the best decision for everyone involved, and sometimes for some people it will not look like to them a good decision.

And 2012 will be about the great sorting of these two groups.

Okay, seriously, why can't I find a spiritual new-agey, chubby, happy go lucky, totally charming frat boy to love? I know this type exists, I've met them and they were all taken. DAMN!!! All the good ones are truly taken.

But I know my very spiritual new-agey, very happy go lucky, chubby frat boy is out there somewhere, looking for me like I am looking for him.

He's clean cut, he's not a dirty hippy boy, he's a guy-guy who loves football and is not wimpy and not too thin. He is sweet, totally smart, and is way smarter than me, and he is most importantly, spiritual, he's aware, he's open to everything and anything, is intuitive and is knowledgable about all the new-agey stuff and if not knowledgable open to exploring it all.

Onto to another interesting topic. One of the speakers on that panel was really, really cute. My friends and I think he was kind of staring at us, but we don't know which one of us he was looking at. Not sure if I was me because my two San Diego friends are both blonde, blue eyed and busty as all get out. They are like typical SoCal girls and so much fun to hang with.

Or maybe he wasn't looking at us at all really. I mean after all, we were sitting in the front row. The guy has been lecturing for 10 years so I am sure he just checks out his audiences just for the heck of it.

Still, there is something to him that is so fascinating. One of my San Diego's friend's son came to the Expo and was telling my friend his mom how to get a relationship she really wants. He told her to write down everything she liked in all her past relationships in red ink on a piece of paper and keep it closer to her and read it every day. This process will help to manifest a guy exactly like on the piece of paper.

So anyway, here's what going on. I never really got to meet the cutie panel guy because his lecture was sold out and he didn't really talk to very many people. The more I research the cutie panel guy the more he seems to have all the qualities I liked about all my ex's. And I don't know what to think about that. Is this someone I need to get to know better? Part of me says yes and another part of me says no.

The NO part says that, okay, he's got all the things you like in all your old loves but do you want to go down that road again, haven't you already been there, done that and it's never worked out, what makes you think it will work out this time, isn't that the definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome.

The YES part says, it doesn't matter what you think he might or not be, the guy is interesting, you could learn something from him, like how to combine the practical and spiritual, and he does have interesting things to say, and you never know, he's not quite what you want, not in a million years ever, but you never know.

So I think I am like having such a school girl crush on her very intersting professor. Haven't had one of those in years and it's kind of sweet, kind of stupid, kind of fun, kind of weird, and hopefully harmless. It's just a crush right?

Check out the video from the Conscious Life Expo - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJl41hUgymM.

I felt like blogging today only because I am supposed to be working on my screenplay so I can submit it to this website, and blogging feels like a lovely distraction right now.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets is on right now, and they just had the scene with the spiders which always gives me the shivers. I hate spiders, real or imagined.

I had what I think could be termed a life-changing experience last month, although the jury is still out on how much a life change it will be.

On February 2 I received an email about the Conscious Life Expo in Los Angeles which was happening on Valentine's Day weekend. On a whim, I decided to fly down to attend because one of the tour guides from my Peru/Easter Island trip, Sean David Morton, was lecturing on Sunday. I was also thinking that the people who were on my Peru/Easter Island trip would also be there, and it would so much fun to see them again.

I am such a whim follower that I bought my plane ticket, booked a hotel room at the Hilton LAX where the Expo was being held shortly thereafter. It is so exciting and fun for me to fly somewhere to check something out that I am interested in, even if just for a couple of days. I hope I never lose the thrill of exploring new things.

We have the same version here in San Francisco called the New Living Expo and I've been attending this event for years, but I've never been to a similar event outside of the SF Bay Area.

Sure enough, there were two women from San Diego who had driven up to see Sean, and it was so great to connect with them again. We became very good friends on our tou, and even though I exchanged information with everyone, I never got around to connecting with anyone. Now we are all emailing each other, which is so cool because we will at least stay connected that way.

And it was fun to see Sean and Melissa his wife again, even though I saw them several times last year since Sean is up here quite a lot to lecture.

So anyway, my two San Diego friends and I were sitting in the front row for Sean's lecture and then we decided to stick around for the next event which was a panel hosted by George Noory of Coast to Coast AM. The panel was on Prophecy and featured Sean as well as others talking about what will will happen in 2012.

The end of the Mayan calendar is not that far away, so everyone is talking about it and theorizing about what will happen if anything. It's all so interesting if you're into these kind of inquiries.

Anyway there was this guy there, David Wilcock, who really impressed me as someone who is trying to combine both the science of what is going on along with the spirituality. There are a ton of so called spiritual people out there talking about 2012, but no one has really combined the science like David.

That combination of the science and the practical with the spiritual seems so life changingto me, because I do just like the spiritual aspect of things and kind of leave the practical stuff alone. You know the practical stuff is all the things I do to live like have a job, pay my rent, work out, etc. It would be just so amazing to combine the two worlds together. I think the people who combine the spiritual and practical together are the ones who have jobs and careers they love, jobs and careers that they feel they were born to do.

So that's my life changing moment thing - how do I combine my spiritual life with my practical life. This is what I get when I named 2009 my year of alignment. I have to align my spiritual and practical lives, which will never be an easy task and will I feel be like walking on a tightrope over a vast chasm where you can fall into the abyss either way.

Someone told me that it's a good custom to name your year, so using my intuition I am naming 2009 the year of Alignment. I think this means I need to align my life with what I want, like being in a relationship again.

M-Square passed on in May. The man was interesting but like any stressed out executive, he didn't take care of himself and had the worst nutritional habits. I'm sorry but pizza and way too many drinks does not make for a healthy life.

I was very saddened to hear about him going, but I know he has moved to a more a peaceful and happy existence.

So it's time as well for me to move on to find another love.

I have not been blogging in ages. I have not been in the mood, but all of a sudden today I felt the urge to blog.

Let's see. Yesterday I drove down to Pacific Grove to hear Marc Gafni lecture - http://www.marcgafni.com/.

He wrote a book called "The Evolution of Love" and was giving a lecture in three parts on his book. This is his wikipedia entry:

Mordecai Gafni (born 1961) is an American bestselling author and former Modern Orthrodox rabbi, who was once associated with the Jewish Renewal movement. In 2004 and 2005 articles in Haaretz he is described as promoting a balance between the erotic and the ethical in Judaism. He is best known for his teachings on the relationship between spirituality and eroticsm, and his claim that all failure of ethics result from a collapse of Eros. Eros is defined by Gafni in his teaching as interiority, presence, yearning and interconnectivity. He also is described as promoting the integration of the feminine god head with the masculine god head through their integration in the lived life of every individual.

Gafni is a very good lecturer and he gets really deep and makes me feel like I am back in college.

I have been watching football all day and posting photos to Flickr. Check out my Flickr page.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/brenda_sf/

I said I was going to post this photo back in June, so here it is. The live map from the LA bus.

At the Pemtimento Cafe at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. The food here is exquisite and expensive but so worth it. The food at this restaurant makes me think I'm eating in SF, it's that good.

I am into champagne phase and had a glass of Pentimento sparkling wine with my warm chicken and pear salad. The dressing was amazing. The food here is sublimely gourmet without being too overbearing. I love eating great food in different cities.
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Live fron Los Angeles. I'm on the 156 bus heading south to visit LACMA. The LA bus has something called TransitTV. It's a computer screen with a Windows Live Local map powere by Virtual Earth that shows you on a live map the route the bus is driving. How cool is that! SF Muni should have this.

I took a pic of it and will post it when I get back to SF.
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Sitting at 13 Views, the bar at the Hyatt Regency Embarcadero. It is bloody hot in San Francisco today and it seemed a waste to go home. I was going to go to a work cocktail party at Cosmopolitan, but when I got there there was a person there I didn't like so I left.

Now I'm here having a champagne cocktail. I am for whatever reason into champagne cocktails. I just downed a really bad chicken quesidilla with the worst mango salsa, and now I'm a little tipsy because my champagne cocktail had vodka in it.

This is fun. I haven't gone into a bar situation by myself in years. Hotel bars are the best. No one thinks anything of a single person drinking on their own. They just assume you are a business traveller and it is acceptable for you to be on your own eating and drinking at the bar.

I have to go home and watch America Idol now. The party is over. But there's always tomorrow. A girl could get used to this.
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If price doesn't matter to you and you want an amazing water view and you live in San Francisco, you have a few options. You can live along the Marina, you can live on Coit Tower Hill or you can live in a highrise somewhere in downtown SF or along the Embarcadero or even south of Market. But if you want Baker beach, the view of the Marin headlands, and Golden Gate Bridge, you want to live at Seacliff.

I'm on the beach typing up this post and on my left side are these amazing houses with big windows and steps that lead down to the beach. Most houses have large balconies where one could sip one's coffee in the morning and watch ships enter the bay and sail under the Golden Gate Bridge.

This is my new neighbourhood ... not bad. And I'm just a ten minute walk away and up three long flights of stairs.
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Here's my Easter Island iconic photo otherwise known as Isla de Pascua or Rapa Nui.

Here's my iconic Machu Picchu picture taken with my new camera.

I haven't been posting since January and something happened to my blog page. Instead of figuring it out, I just picked a new template and lost whatever I had before.

This blog is just like my real life. I have moved from the Sunset section of San Francisco and am back in the Richmond. I lost my semi-ocean view and friends tell me Baker Beach is a 10-minute walk from my place. I haven't been to Baker Beach in years.

This is my first night in new apartment. It's 100 square feet smaller than where I was previously. Your real estate dollar doesn't go quite as far here since I am on the edge of mansion row. I think Senator Diane Feinstein used to have a house in this neighbourhood, or was that Laurel Heights. Robin Williams used to live close to here as well, but I think since his divorce he moved to Marin.

Maybe I'll go back to posting now. My life has been crazy so far this year. I was in Peru and Easter Island from February 13 thru March 2, and then after I came back I had to look for a new place and now here I am. What a whirlwind it's been. Hopefully now I can settle down and start writing and blogging again.