So the "L Word - love" made an appearance in an email from M-Square, and I'm like not very happy. I hate when a guy uses this word like it's nothing. I never put love at the end of an email. X's an O's don't count, because it's not like the actual word and it's more like flirting and fun. "Love" is a real emotion and one shouldn't be signing one's emails with it unless you really mean it.

Maybe it's because he's a Leo and all my friends tell me that Leos are very emotional. But I don't care, the L-word is sacred!

And he put it at the end of a semi-slammogram of an email too, like the L-word was supposed to negate everything he wrote above it. We kind of had our first little tiff yesterday, where I think I totally embarrassed him at work on the phone and he got kind of upset and basically hung up on me.

My mistake I guess for calling on a bad Monday morning. I was in a bad mood, and thought that talking to him would cheer me up. Guess that was a big mistake because he was having a bad Monday too, and then it just slid merrily down the toilet bowl from there.

And I'm like how did we get to this stage where I feel like we're being cruel to each other like an old married couple? Yeah, we get along like a house on fire and feel like so comfortable talking and telling each other very private things, but we don't know each other that well.

And I guess I don't help things any, because I'm a fly by the seat of my pants type conversationalist who spits out any stupid and inappropriate thought that comes into my head, and yes I suppose I can come across as being unwittingly and unthinkingly very, very cruel.

But I'm not deliberately cruel! I don't say things knowing that it's just going to come across as nasty as hell to the other person, no matter what I feel.

But I don't know, Mercury is retrograding which means communications are messed up and we're both stressed out as hell over work. He's trying to build a 30-year garage type business into a more professional organization and I am very unhappy with my job, and this relationship is probably the last thing either of us needs right now.

But I can't help it! I really, really like this guy! He is so cool, so smart (he graduated from college when he was 19 years old), and so beautifully spiritual. And yes, dare I say, the guy is really, really 90% perfect and I haven't even met him yet.

But the cynical part of me wants to call it quits because he was cruel and knew it and couldn't stop himself anyway, and who needs that kind of behaviour when you're already stressed out. And he found one of my buttons, one of my landmines by accidents and it really, really hurt when he pushed it. But hey I stepped on one of his landmines first which I didn't know would hurt so much since he'd already talked about it, but I guess went deeper than I'd guessed or maybe should have figured.

So I guess we're even as far as hurting each other goes now which means despite the smidgen of doubt that popped into my head, which by the way always pops into my head with every relationship, I'm staying in. And yes, I think he's that worth it!