The people at Blue Calico are so nice. They sell dinnerware from the Burgess Dorling & Leigh's Middleport Pottery, the oldest continuously producing pottery in Staffordshire, England. Burgess Dorling & Leigh, maker of Burleighware®, is the only pottery in Stoke-on-Trent which makes all of its blue and white ware using the ancient transfer-print process.

I have the Blue Arden pattern and my teacup saucer broke, and they said they would contact the Pottery to find out if they have extra stock or could have one made for me since they don't make the particular teacup and saucer set I have anymore. Aren't they great?

I am a blue and white dish fiend! All my dinnerware is blue and white, and I especially love English dinnerware. I have Burleighware and Spode. I also love Denby too, and would buy them if they made blue and white dishes.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm at home now and my tummy is completely distended! I didn't eat breakfast hoping that would help, but I ate too much and I now my tummy totally hurts. Oh well! I had a fun dinner at my friend's house. Her fiance's son and his wife and kid were there and a guy friend of ours hadn't seeen in years, who brought two fo his friends.

I made maple glazed carrots and broccoli with a crunchy bread crumb topping with orange zest. I found the most heavenly citrus zester! It's so delightful to have a tool that makes your cooking chore so easy. I'm going to have get one for all of my friends. Who doesn't need a amazing citruz zester!

I spoke to M-Square this morning before he took off to see his kids. I miss him, and I guess if we stay together I'm going to have get used to him having to be with his kids during the holidays. I think the next time I have thanksgiving it will be somewhere in Orange County with M-Square and his kids.

My aunt from Hawaii called and I told her about him. She liked that he once played football for University of Hawaii. My cousin is going to look him up in the alumni database to see if she can find anything about him. My cousin, who is an assistant DA on Kauai, went to undergrad and law school at UH.

But my Thanksgiving day wasn't a wasted day. I got up early and did two loads of laundry and then cleaned out my storage closet. I'm going to make a trip to the Salvation Army this weekend to give away stuff. I've got to start paring down my possessions if I'm going to move to Southern California in six months.

I attended the screenwriting group last Sunday and everyone was very nice. I wrote a log line and synopsis for the screenplay I wanted to work on, and got really great feedback. Since I got along very well with the group, they told me I could stay. This screenwriting group has been together for 15 years so I was a little intimidated joining such a long-standing group. But it worked out fine.

One girl was saying how she rewrote her script 99 times, but it was worth it because her agent optioned it. She has another script that is currently being looked at by all these Hollywood production companies.

Madeline is great! She gives very constructive feedback and she definitely knows her stuff having been a TV writer for many years. I didn't feel so bad about my long-distance relationship with M-Square when I heard that Madeline's boyfriend lives in Houston. She used to live there and that's how they met, but then she relocated to LA. He works for NASA and has a good job and since he doesn't have long to retire, he stayed in Houston.

A really good friend of mine who lives in Irvine, met her husband by chance when he was down there visiting. They dated for nine months long distance until they decided it was serious and he relocated his job to be near her. They've been married for a long time and just adopted twin boys. She told me to go slow and to be very sure before I relocate. She said to wait to see if we were still togther by our one year anniversary before I even consider relocating. That's six months away.

It seems like a long time but I know it's not. The time will fly like it usually does and is. Hopefully M-Square's job will get better. I really think he should stick with it because the opportunity for profit sharing is great, but if it doesn't calm down I think he'll leave.

I think I am fighting some kind of stomach flu because I come home exhausted and my tummy keeps hurting. I so haven't felt like writing since I'm not feeling very well.

I just sit on my bed and watch tv and then fall asleep, but it doesn't matter how much sleep I get because I still wake up not feeling quite well.

M-Square is still having work problems and that's too bad. It's so hard to have a relationship when your work life is just stressful and you just want to quit your job. Some days are better than others but on the whole, he is feeling very rotten and stressed out.

We won't be spending Thankgiving together since he is having his kids over. It's way too soon for me to be meeting them.

I got into a little fender bender with my car when I accidentally knicked the side of my apartment building as I was pulling into my very narrow opening. I am usually so careful but not this time. OUCH! The bonehead accident cost a pretty penny to repair, so maybe it's just as well that I'm staying home and not spending any money.

On a whim, I asked my boss if it would be okay if I relocated down to Southern California and kept my job and she said it was fine. She lives in Orange County and flies up here every two weeks. My company wouldn't pay for my relocation, but I could work out of our LA office which is near Marina del Ray.

So for now, I have decided to job hunting. I think it would be better if I have a job if I ever decide to move closer to M-Square. Relocation is stressful enough without having to find another job. There's a guy who works for my company who is relocating down to LA and keeping his job, so it can be done. I had lunch with a girl from the LA office and she said a new guy just got hired in the LA office who is commuting from the Newport Beach area, and I'm thinking if I ever move down there that we perhaps could commute together.

I wish I knew what to do to get over this illness. My stomach is constantly hurting and I have these little aches and pains, not to mention I get tired very easily.

I can see lighting outside of my window and I'm hearing thunder. I can't even remember the last time that there's been a thunderstorm in San Francisco. It's so weird!

Talk about Do-Gooders Writing Bad Propositions! Dummies wrote a ban on handguns in San Francisco, which is of couse well meaning but dumb! SF is running out of money and now the City is going to spend money to defend a stupid law because the gun lobby is suing us. The only people who makes good in this scenario is the damned lawyers! Didn't people expect this to happen? And if they did, wouldn't it have been better not to even put the proposition on the ballot? Talk about fiscal irresponsibility ... I knew this was going to happen so I couldn't vote yes on it and sure enough the suit gets filed immediately.

It's so interesting to read about the riots in France. The French government seem to have absolutely no idea what to do. Some are saying the French riots are the results of multiculturalism gone wrong. You have to wonder if they're right. The best thing about assimilation is it makes people have a common bond, and having a common bond makes sense for people living in community. But anti-assimilationists have been haivng a free reign in the culture wars and I'm wondering what they are saying about the French riots. I'm sure they're theorizing that it's all economics, but is it? That's just way too simplistic don't you think?

Rainer Werner Fassbinder made a film in 1974 called "Ali-Fear Eats the Soul" and I think his commentary on the issues of immigration in Germany was a harbinger of the future. If he were alive today, Fassbinder would say that riots were in France were inevitable and that France should have been planning for it to happen.

I am now at 10,011 words, which means I am caught up for my word count for Sunday. I am taking a break before I work on tonight's word count. I really like the working in on hour increments and then taking a break. Hopefully, I'll be able do get two writing sessions done tonight and stil make my word count for today. But we'll see.

The 49ers lost and I think I will have to do more solid hours of writing to get to my 10,002 word count total for the day. I like writing in one hour increments and then taking a break. That was the advice on the Nanowrimo website and I'm taking it. I'm up to 6,238 words. I have about 4,000 words to go.

Maybe I need to write at home like this more often. I'm sitting on my bed listening to the classical music station and I have the 49er/NY Giants game on and I'm tying on my laptop. When I was writing earier, I had the Raiders/Kansas City game on. It's kind of almost like being in a cafe. There's music and I have something that I look at when I feel bored.

The 49ers are losing, but it's only the end of the third quarter. It would be nice if they could pull it out like they did last week and win. It's cold and wet and foggy outside. I went to the greek fruit and veggie store to buy some blueberries. Blueberries were like $4.99 per box. God, that's expensive, but I need my blueberries.

I am behind in my Nanowrimo word count. I'm supposed to be up to 10,002 words as of today, and I'm only at 4,163. I think I can get caught up today if I have three one-hour writing sessions. So I'm listening to the classical music station and watching the Oakland Raiders Kansas City Game football game.

I got the phone number of a woman from Los Angeles who is leading a screenwriting group in Cupertino once a month from a friend of mine. I spoke to her at work on Thursday and had to pitch my screenplay idea to her. That was nerve-wracking. But she liked in and invited me to her all day November 13 session. I have to bring a log line for my screenplay and a one to three page synopsis.

The woman's name is Madeline Dimaggio and this is her website; Create a Script. My friend has taken her seminar seven times and has written seven scripts. She says the woman is fantastic. Her seminar is six weeks long and I already missed the first session, but Madeline said I could come to session # 2. The seminars are held once a month for six months. I would have to start wriitng my screenplay right after I finish Nanowrimo in time for the next session in December, if I decide I like the group.

Madeline suggested I come to the November 13 session to check out the group and if I decided I like them, then I would continue. None of the people in the group has sold a screenplay although a couple of people have have agents and with scripts that have been optioned. My guess is these people are also novelists if they have agents. I've taken screenwriting classes in the South Bay before and most of the people I met at these seminars were novelists who had published books and agents and wanted to sell a screenplay. The friend who recommended this seminar has a published non-ficiton book and an agent and is working on her second book. She's trying to break into ficiton and screenwriting.

I pitched Madeline my silicon valley gold digger's story and told her it was a comedy. I was so not prepared to pitch that story and actually haven't thought about it in years. I really should be working on my baseball screenplay, but I haven't finished the second draft yet and I already know how I'm going to rework the final and third draft so I don't really need any help there.

I've never written a comedy before. When I was taking acting classes both of my acting teachers said I had natural comedic timing, so I'm curious if that sense of timing will translate into my writing. One of my acting teachers said my comedic timing was so natural that he couldn't see me doing anything but comedy. He said I reminded him of Elaine May, whom he had worked with in New York. Elaine May wrote "Heaven Can Wait" with Warren Beatty and adapted Joe Klein's "Primary Colors" for the screen. So we'll see.

Comedy is supposed to be hardest genre to write. You can't write funny. I know when I was acting I never did anything to be funny, and whatever I did just was comedic. I kept telling my acting teacher that I didn't know what I was doing that was so funny, and he said because I was a natural and I was always like "whatever".

As I've been typing, Oakland is now leading Kansas City 23-20 and there are only five second left in the game. There's some guy on the Oakland Raiders coaching staff who looks exactly like M-Square. I wonder who that guy is. He's the bulky bearded blondie guy. Oh well, Kansas City just scored a touchdown. Game over. Let's hope the 49ers have better luck.

I just checked the Oakland Raiders' website and if you want to see M-Square's twin, his name is Rob Ryan who is the defensive coordinator for the Oakland Raiders. Check this guy out; Rob Ryan - M-Square's twin. How funny.

Today was Day 1 of Nanwrimo and I wrote 1,726 words. I am starting work on my novel series, "The Elf Girl Chronicles". I never did find that piece of paper with the screenplay idea that I came up with in January and wanted to turn into a novel, so I figured why not start work on my novel series.

I titled the novel, "The Elf Girl Chronicles Book 1: The Prophecy". But boy writing it tonight was like pulling teeth. I didn't know whether to write it in first or third person. I started out in first which was fine for an introduction I suppose, then switched to third person to tell the rest of the story.

Talk about bad, bad, bad first draft writing. But oh well, at least I'm writing and I made my word count. I didn't even draft an outline, which is so not like. I'm going to have to draft an outline this weekend, because I won't be able to write without a road map for very long.

And names, I didn't even have time to come up with good character names, so I am so making them up as I write. Oh well, it's only a very badly written first draft right?

The weekend was not good for writing. I had time to write, I thought about writing but I didn't do it. I'm very disappointed with myself. Nanowrimo starts tomorrow and I have no idea what I'm going to write. I have nothing planned or outlined but an idea that I sketched out in January. I've got to find that piece of paper tonight so I can do a brief outline and start writing tomorrow.

I was doing so well with my writing these last two weeks and I don't know what happened. I get so distracted sometimes. I spent part of Saturday getting a waxing and then I came home and made some cds for M-Square and mailed them and other presents I'd bought for him.

On Saturday night I did nothing but zone out in front of the tv. I don't even know what I watched. On Sunday I went out and had a manincure and then came home and cleaned up my house and put things away.

I kept thinking about writing but could not motivate myself to go to the cafe to sit and write. Damn! I could have had a finished screenplay by now. I'm planning to finish the screenplay this month as well as do Nanowrimo. I've got to do it. I've got to finish something this year just for my own peace of mind.

It was a great Sunday in the San Francisco Bay Area on Sunday with the Raiders and the 49ers finally winning games. And yes it was a sweet victory for the 49ers over the Tampa Bay Bucaneers and John Grudin. Gotta love the fourth string quarterback taking over for the 49ers. It was like watching Oliver Stone's football movie "Any Given Sunday" only this was real life in the NFL. I love when life imitates a Hollywood script or is the other way around.

My interview today went well I think, but it's hard to tell. The woman I interviewed with was so nice. I really liked her. But I don't know why I'm drawn to newly created jobs. They're the hardest kind of jobs to have. I've never not been in a job that hasn't been newly created where I've had to figure it all on my own. I think I have to do some journaling about what that means.

I think I'd like to be in a job that's already established because I think it would be easier. Boring I know, but easy. I think I still need to keep looking. If I get offered the job, I will defintely take it however because I'd really like to leave my job and my company.

M-Square told me on Sunday that I was an important part of his life. That was sweet. He told me things about his job that he's never confided in anyone, and it was pretty heavy. He is in a very complicated situation. I don't think I would ever work for someone that I was really good friends with; it's never a good situation. It's like moving in with a good friend; either it's a disaster or it works.

My poor babe ... it felt like something in my relationship with M-Square has shifted last week and shifted for the better although I don't know what it means right now.

I just read this book by Anne Tyler called "Breathing Lessons" and boy was it boring. I was waiting for it to get better and it never did. How disappointing. I hate getting rid of books but this one is definitely going to be donated to charity.

Good news on the job front. I got called back for another interview with the woman who is the boss of the three people who interviewed me on Friday. Whether I get this job or not, I'm just happy that I had a good interview with another group to counter the horrible interview I had two weeks ago with a different group at the same company. The people I interviewed last Friday even said the company is so big that working in a different group is like working in a totally different world.

It's nice to know that I can still interview well. At the last company I interviewed with back in August and September, I interviewed four times and even got to talk to the head guy back in Connecticut. It was that last interview that killed my job prospects I think. I wasn't on my game. I had just gotten back from my weekend with M-Square, which I wasn't planning on. I thought I would have the interview before Labor Day, but there was a mix-up. Oh well. I was iffy on that job anyway, which I told the HR person and they insisted on putting my resume through anyway. That healthcare company is a huge national player! They are publicly traded and their stock price is huge! But they were going through a major reorg at the time I was interviewing, and you could tell that group and position was very much in flux. They wanted and sounded like they needed a sales person and not an analyst. I can so sales because I've had to but it's not my strength.

I want a job that plays to my strengths and not my weaknesses and I want to work for a company that's doing really well. And most importantly of all, I want to work for nice people.

The thing I've realized about my current job is I'm not trusted here. My immediate boss trusts me, but her boss doesn't. And it's not like I can't do my job, it's just a personality thing. The woman and I just don't get along; I don't trust and like her and she doesn't trust and like me. And from past experience, my performance and my enjoyment at any job has suffered when I'm not liked.

I don't even see it as personal. It's just a personality conflict that can't be helped and which neither of us can change. You can't make yourself like someone or trust someone. This job has always been a iffy fit and I knew that going in. All the signs were there, but I needed a job so I took it. And for the most part it wasn't bad, but the part that was bad just got worse.

What's worse is how much I realized yesterday how my work self-esteem really suffered at this job without me even realizing it. When you're trusted and like at a job, you feel confident in your abilities to get things done. When it's the opposite sitation, you start to doubt yourelf, your work and your ability. I started to believe I was incompetant, and I know I'm not. I've had jobs with way more responsibilities than what I have now, way more accountabilities than what I have now, and yet in this job I felt so stupid.

I think the problem is I let myself believe I was stupid because I wasn't trusted. Talk about playing to expectations. I think it's bad karma if you do that do someone, but that's just my feeling. At least I figured it out in time to realize it and to get out.

And I will get out, one way or another, I will move to greener pastures. The creator of the Dilbert cartoon was quoted as saying once "creme always rises to the top if creme is willing to the bottle." I think this is so true. You might not be a superstar in one company but you might be in another. This has certainly happened to me in my job life.

I went to see the ACT's revival production of "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof". I sort of vaguely remember watching the movie from childhood, but really knew nothing about the story. Now I think I need to rent the movie version just to see what the differences are with this new 1974 revision from Tennessee Williams.

Here's the SF Chronicle review of the play; ACT's 'Cat on a Hot Tin Roof' prowls quietly until Big Daddy storms in and rocks the house.

I don't normally agree with theatre reviews from the Comical, but this one is right now. The firt act fairly dragged, and it was hard to see why Maggie would stay married to Brick other than the fact she was poor and had married into a rich family and didn't want to be poor again. The actor playing Brick was so unresponsive and he had his shirt off for most of the first act and seemed to just be posing the whole time. He had a great body, but I don't think there was any sexual chemistry between the two of them.

I loved the actor playing "Big Daddy", and like Maggie adored her father-in-law's crudeness and devastating honesty. Williams gave Big Daddy some really great lines! One thing Big Daddy talks about is how you put up with people in your life even though you don't really like them, and there's very few people you do like even if you're married to them or if they're your children. This observation of life is so sadly true. I find so few people that I do really like, and when I find someone it is such a joy. But unlike Big Daddy, I try not to have anyone close in my life that I don't like. Life is too short ... why put up with "mendacity"? I have to do it at work, which I absolutely hate and which in these last two years is becoming harder and harder for me to do.

What was really striking is how clearly the audience was able to see everyone's agenda. It was refreshing really to see people's real motives displayed like that on stage. Nothing was hidden and it was all out for everyone on stage and for the audience to see. That's probably Williams' genius as a playwright coming through. You can despise characters on the one hand, but sympathize with them as well for their motivation because it's so naked and so human.

I think Brick is the most problematic character because he's not as clearly drawn. I think you could make a case either way as to his sexuality because of the confusion. Was he swish? Maybe, maybe not ... I think all you can say is Skipper was, but the Skipper story is all second-hand observation and told from Maggie's and Brick's point of view.

I don't think the play is on par with "Night of the Iguana" or "A Streetcase Named Desire" or "The Glass Menagerie" or even "The Rose Tatoo", but even a bad Tennessee Williams' play is better than 99.9% of the modern plays out there.

M-Square was so sweet last night. When I told him I had a horrible day at work, he said he was sorry he couldn't be there for me. But he was! Just talking to me made me feel so much better. What a joy to talk to the man you love after you've had a hard day at work.

M-Square is really trying to work on our relationship. I had such a horrible day at work today, and somehow he knew and he called me as soon as he got home from work and we talked and he made me feel so much better.

I so adore him!

I am watching this very long world series game and it so feels like the Whitesox are a team of destiny. It would be really cool if the Whitesox won just because it would match that time when the Redsox won and the Whitesox won the next year. Baseball history is repeating itself and that's very cool.

I heard from a very good source last week that he expected indictments in the Whitehouse because of the Plame case. He said that Rove and company would be indicted, and that when that happened by implication it would mean that Shrub and Cheney were also guilty. We'll see.

M-Square and I had a very serious talk on Sunday. It was hard because we talked about his job stress and his feelings about our relationship. It's hard for him because he is so stressed out that he is in serious survival mode and can barely meet his own needs let alone mine.

Afterwards I kept thinking this is what it must mean in the marriage vows when you have to say, "I, (Name),Take you, (Name),To be my (wife/husband); To have and to hold, From this day forward, For better, for worse, For richer, for poorer, In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'Till death do us part." (or, "As long as we both shall live.") ... especially the part about for best or for worse. Sometimes when you're really stresed out, you literally have nothing to give the person you're with. You're like barely keeping it together and you can barely be there for yourself and meet your own needs let alone meet someone else's needs. This is what M-Square is going through and he knows it.

And I'm like how much do I really like this guy and how much am I willing to put with? M-Square said he loves me and that things will get better, but not until his work stress goes away. I feel like I'm getting a taste of what it would take to be in a long term relationship again and how frustrating and disappointing it is when your husband isn't doing well. The thing about relationships is, the person you love is never going to be there 24/7 for you. It's physically impossible. Both people have up and down days, weeks, sometimes months. And the question I guess you have to ask yourself, that I'm asking myself, is "do I love this guy enough to let him be human and not always be there for me? Do I trust him enough to ride this out knowing that when he's less stressed out everything will be better?"

And right now, I don't know. I think I do because I don't feel like it's time to leave, but I know that in the past when I've gotten to this inevitable point in a relationship I've bugged out. I think this feeling of wanting to bug out and move on to green pastures will always be there, only because I've always done it in the past. It's not the best way to go and I think I've let go of some really great relationships because I didn't want to wait around, and I don't want to do that. Not with M-Square. He's just too aamzing of a guy, and I just don't know if I'll find another guy like him. That's how much I think I like this guy. Plus, he's put up with me this far and he's been very forgiving of a ton of my foibles. I also know he'll always do the right thing, a trait I find very rare in a guy.

Before all this job stress, M-Square was there when I reached out to him and needed him to be there. He put up with my 11th hour anxiety attack about meeting him, and he was there for me when I went through a serious crisis back in July. And he did all of this before he even know what I looked like and whether it would work between us.

He just can't do that right now, and I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't hurt like hell that he can't be there because he's hunkering down and doing the Men are from Mars cave thing. He's trying but it's hard for him.

So all I can think of is "for better or four worse" because I think I'm getitng a taste of what it would take emotionally for me to acutally fulfill on this aspect of the marriage vow.

Despite not writing on Thursday through Sunday, I'm still on track with the schedule I set up for writing my screenplay. When I'm in the grove I can knock out three scenes in two hours.

On Thursday I went to see the Cal Shakespeare's version of "The Tempest" in Orinda. The night was quite cold, but it was beautiful to look up into the night sky and see the stars.

"The Tempest" was fantastic. A friend and I were speculating whether Prospero an Ariel were in love. The director really played their love story up and at the end I think Prospero didn't really want to leave the island and wanted to stay with Ariel, but he was too late. There was also a scene where Prospero and Ariel's cheeks were touching and it was so erotic, it was like there were making love. Ariel at one point asks Prospero if he loves her, but he ignores her. Oh well, too bad.

This production of "The Tempest" also had actors playing the spries and I really liked them. Apparently some critic thought they were too distracting but there so funny. Two the sprites are holding up giant flowers and swaying to and fro, and the prince starts swaying with him as if hypnotized. It was so funny.

I met the actor who played "Stephano" earlier this year, and he was fantastic. He did a one-man show on Buckminster Fuller which was supposedly fantastic a few years ago, but I missed. Too bad because he is such a great actor. The guy has amazing control of his body and did some great falls on stage. It takes a lot of phyical control to fall naturally on stage and to make it look accidental and not fake.

On Friday, I had to deposit some checks at the bank and then I went to The Container Store to buy a couple of french canning jars to store cereal. I use these jars to store cookies, and after months my cookies are still fresh and crunchy.

On Saturday, I drove down to Monterey to take a class called "Divine Intuition". A friend who also attended won the contest using her intuition to get how many jelly beans were in a jar. She was off by one. I don't know if that was just luck and a good guess or if she was really using her intuition.

The class was fun because we did readings on each other, although I received mixed readings about me and M-Square. It turns out I give really accurate readings. I don't think I can say the same for the partners I had in class. Then I went with a couple of friends to The Fishwife Restaurant and had a calamari sandwich. I had wanted to try it when I was in Monterey in July but never got around to it. The sandwich was very tasty and of course totally fattening.

When I went to my Weight Watchers meeting today I thought for sure I'd show a weight gain, but I actually lost 1/2 a pound. I'm having such a hard time getting into following the plan. If I write down everything I eat and stay within my point range I'm fine. But once I stop writing stuff down then I just end up eating a ton.

On Sunday I was so craving eating Captain Crunch cereal. I had two bowls of cereal which for me means a mix of Special K, Captain Crunch and Fiber One. I love having a handful of Captain Crunch on any cereal I'm eating. It's way better than eating cereal with fruit.

I am writing again and it's full steam ahead. I wrote four scenes yesterday and finished two difficult scenes today. I am so ahead of the schedule I set for myself that I think I'll be done with my screenplay if all goes well by next weekend.

I have to start thinking about the novel I'm going to write for Nanowrimo. I almost feel like just writing a screenplay, but a screenplay is less than 50K words. This year I want to write a novel from start to finish, and not just 30% of a novel that I normally do. What I should do is take that scifi screenplay idea I came up with back in January or February and turn that into a novel, and then later turn it back it into a screenplay. I've never taken a screenplay idea and turned it into a novel nor taken a novel and turned it into a screenplay. This will be a good exercise for me I think.