Water fasting today. Water fasting is supposed to be good for you, helping to clear your body of toxins and to break your addiction to food like anything chocolate. I had never done a water fast before until last week. A juice fast maybe, but never a straight water fast. I have such a thing about food too because I think I maybe hypoglycemic, meaning if I don't eat, I get totally nauseous.
But when I water fasted last week, shockingly enough, I didn't get nauseous and I felt fine. I don't know if this means my health is better or maybe I just had this belief in my head that if I didn't eat every 3 or 4 hours, I'd die. I just don't know. It's weird to think you can survive without any food except for water because it goes against what all the health books teach you.
I told a friend of mine about water fasting and she said that water fasting has been around for years, it's even in the bible. All the other religions fast too and do it regularly. It's hard to know who to believe anymore as far as your health. The health and diet industry is a billion dollar business and when money is involved, it's hard to know if you're really getting accurate information.
It's not like I truly water fast anyway. I always cheat a little and eat small bits of food but it feels like I still get the same benefit. Tomorrow I eat only fruit and veggies. Last week, I ate fruits and veggies whole and not juiced. This time I think I will juice to see if that makes a difference.
Last week I ate a huge fruit salad and it was so delicious and wonderful in this hot weather. Then I ate steamed veggies and I don't know. I spent my 20's eating bushels full of steamed veggies and brown rice and I just don't know if I can do it anymore. But then in my 20's I was running 20-30 miles a week and yoga was a breeze.
Speaking of yoga, I feel like getting into it again. I first did yoga when I was high school because I knew people who were practicing it. I had incredible flexibility back then from my gymnastic background and yoga was this ultra cool way to twist your body into all these weird positions. I borrowed a book from the library that showed some homely indian guy doing all these amazing things and I just did whatever positions I could, which was almost 80% of the book.
I never got into it as meditation practice. To me it was just fun, like aerobics, like exercise, like an extension of gymastics. Even after I formally joined a meditation group and was meditating 3 hours or more a day, I didn't do any yoga exercises. If I wanted to exercise, I ran. Running was like meditation for me.
Every once in awhile, I still did the few yoga positions I did remember, mostly because they were fun and I liked being able to stretch my body and yoga is such a great way to stretch.
But it was until 1998 that I actually take a formal yoga class. Whatever flexibility I had in my youth was gone and I struggled through most of the exercises. Interestingly enough, after three months 1/3 of my flexibility came back. I still don't think of it as meditation though. Meditation to me is sitting still, quieting your mind, seeing colours and auras and getting that incredible high. Yoga postures are like fun exercises to see if you can twist your body into a pretzel.
Now I feel a sudden urge to practice my yoga again. Maybe even get back into a class. I'd love to take it from this ballet teacher that I know. If I want to take yoga, I like to take it from a dance teacher. They bring all their ballet training and most of them have also had Alexander and Pilates training too, so it's like getting all three disciplines in one class.
The classes with the ballet teacher doesn't start till the fall, so I gues until then I'll practice it on my own. I went through my video collection and I found a bunch of yoga videos that I forgot I owned. I wonder if it's possible to get 100% of my youthful flexibility back. I used to do the cobra position and be able to touch my feet to my head. This kind of flexibility is my goal.
Friday, June 14, 2002
Thursday, June 13, 2002
So the search for the perfect leather bag to hold a tablet and my mini laptop continues. The bag I really want is a coach leather large duffle sack costing $300, but I just don't want to spend that amount of money right now. I have the money to spend, I just don't feel like spending a large amount right now. Not after I've spent over $100 on trendy turquoise bracelets and earrings for my vacation.
I went to Stanford Shoppping Center to check out bags and sitll no luck. I went to Stonestown and saw a Tumi bag for $245. The Tumi bag wasn't bad but it was black and contrary to popular belief, black doesn't go with everything. Then I saw a two bags at Malm luggage. A Tumi grayish green messenger bag on sale for $80. Too casual for me. And then a real messenger type bag. Again, too casual to wear with suits I think. Then into banana republic to the men's section to look at their messenger bags.
These bags weren't too bad. All brown but god, so boring because they look like briefcases and way too big for me.
Then to Macy's, where I saw a guess bag that was half way decent, but again only in black. What is it with all the black bags?
Checked online and found only one decent bag at Nordstrom.com. A leather bag in the right dimensions, a backpak which also turns into a shoulder bag. Went to Nordstrom to see if they had it there, but of course, they didn't
I'm going to have to bite the bullet and buy the coach bag. YIKES!!!
Missing my marina hottie boy alot. I think it's all residual left over feeling from the crush. I wonder what hot hottie boy is doing now? Does he miss me as much I miss him? Somehow I doubt that. He probably doesn't even remember my name and if he did, he'd think I'm just some freak of humanity who washed up on his shore like trash.
He said Fire and Air make for a great mix. Do they? Marina boy exhausts me sometimes, mostly because I can't forget him. But I will, one day I know I will. I just wish that someday would come sooner than later.
I went to Stanford Shoppping Center to check out bags and sitll no luck. I went to Stonestown and saw a Tumi bag for $245. The Tumi bag wasn't bad but it was black and contrary to popular belief, black doesn't go with everything. Then I saw a two bags at Malm luggage. A Tumi grayish green messenger bag on sale for $80. Too casual for me. And then a real messenger type bag. Again, too casual to wear with suits I think. Then into banana republic to the men's section to look at their messenger bags.
These bags weren't too bad. All brown but god, so boring because they look like briefcases and way too big for me.
Then to Macy's, where I saw a guess bag that was half way decent, but again only in black. What is it with all the black bags?
Checked online and found only one decent bag at Nordstrom.com. A leather bag in the right dimensions, a backpak which also turns into a shoulder bag. Went to Nordstrom to see if they had it there, but of course, they didn't
I'm going to have to bite the bullet and buy the coach bag. YIKES!!!
Missing my marina hottie boy alot. I think it's all residual left over feeling from the crush. I wonder what hot hottie boy is doing now? Does he miss me as much I miss him? Somehow I doubt that. He probably doesn't even remember my name and if he did, he'd think I'm just some freak of humanity who washed up on his shore like trash.
He said Fire and Air make for a great mix. Do they? Marina boy exhausts me sometimes, mostly because I can't forget him. But I will, one day I know I will. I just wish that someday would come sooner than later.
Wednesday, June 12, 2002
I've been watching movies these last two days. 61* and Wonderboys.
61* was financed by HBO films and probably shown on HBO because it wasn't rated. I liked this movie. I only rented it because someone in my screenwriting class said it would be a good movie to watch as research for my screenplay. I found the characters very engaging and since it's a true story, very engrossing. The guy they got to play Mickey Mantle was very cute, which is an added bonus for any movie I'm watching. But honestly, I really liked the movie.
A great sports movie and still pretty current considering it was supposed to take place in 1961. There was Mickey Mantle, a Hollywood gorgeous bad boy, drinking and whoring around who came from a pool family in Oklahoma. A seeming victim of too much fame too soon since he joined the Yankees as an 18 year old and didn't even go to college. There was Roger Maris, the stoic family man who just wanted to play baseball and didn't know how to handle the press. If you get anything at all from this movie, and there's alot to get, it's if you become famous you had better learn about media/press management. There's the media who hyped both players either up or down, depending on how much either player sucked up to them. After watching this movie, I am convinced more than ever that you can't believe anything you read in the media.
Listening to Jim Rome show again and they're playing the Mark Madsen tape about him thanking his LA supporters in spanish. I've listened to this tape so many times. I think I like it as much as the Jim Mora meltdown after a football game he coached.
Anyway, then there are the owners, who wanted the players to do anything to get the fans to come to the stadium. And you wonder why we have a steroid controversy in major league baseball right now.
61* goes to show you that real life is always so much better than fiction.
Then I watched The Wonderboys, which reviwers really liked in 2000 when it came out. It's also one of the Marina hottie boy's favorite movies, you know, the marina hottie boy I used to have a crush on. I've been meaning to watch this movie, and Marina hottie's comment, made me rent it. I don't know. Maybe because I watched it late at night, but honestly the movie made me sleepy. It was so slow moving. Some of it was really funny, I'll grant you that, but those funny moments seemed far and few between. And then the ending just got so stupid.
Michael Douglas' character reminded me of too many guys I've dated. Middle aged, stoned, angst ridden, white male, bitter and drifting through life, wondering what went wrong when in their youth they were superstars. BORING!!! And probably boring, because I've dated these types before. Hell, the ex husband could have stood in for Michael Douglas' character and I've owned a pair of red cowboy boots since I was 22 years old.
I read the NY Times review of the movie and I agreed with them. It's a great movie idea but somehow it's a dud when watching it. The NY Times reviewer said that the screenwriter, who adapted the movie from Michael Chabon's novel of the same name, lifted dialogue right out of the book. And you could tell too. That part where Michael Douglas and Tobey Maguire are talking are so boring, so stilted, and not how real people talk at all.
I guess I could see how the reviewers liked it, because you hardly see this kind of subject matter made, but still. I don't know. Maybe it's because I watched Wonderboys the night after I watched 61* and the reality of 61* just seemed more real than the fiction of Wonderboys.
61* was so much more engaging about men and how they view and handle life. Wonderboys had too many made up plot devices like the dog dying, Tobey stealing the Marilyn Monroe jacket, etc. to make this movie very believable. I think Wonderboys was supposed to show the poignancy of a middle aged man, who needs to be rescued by some straight talking same age female. Michael Douglas' character came across as such a loser to me. He was a whining baby boomer, probably draft dodging male, who was wallowing in his own self pity.
The LA Times, sometime in the 1980's, had a article about the psychology of men who avoided the draft and went to college instead. The article said that these men suffered from middle class guilt about not going to war and had problems with commitment and avoided conflict and choice at all costs. Michael Douglas' character reminded me of this article.
What's probably true about Wonderboys is that there are many men in that baby boomer generation walking around like him. Like maybe some of the reviwers who liked this movie? Interesting theory huh?
God, do I really want to watch another movie about a seemingly privileged man freaking out about his life, which has all been a result of his bad choices? Rush Limbaugh would call Wonderboys, I think, the Oprahization of male movies. I mean, all the Oprah books were about women who made really bad choices in their life for obviously no good reason, at least the books never gave you really good reasons for why they liked fucked up their life. And Wonderboys is like an Oprah book, only it's a man and not a woman. But where Oprah books don't get a lot of respect, Wonderboys is considered a good movie. What gives?
Maybe I need to write the book, which reviewers said, is a tired old plot rescued by being very well written. Maybe not. I can't forgive a well written book if the plot is stupid. For most people, I know, it's the opposite. They won't put up with a badly written book even if the plot is good. I will.
As a writer of fiction, I am dishearted by what I'm discovering. Real life is so much better, so much more entertaining than a fiction book any day.
61* was financed by HBO films and probably shown on HBO because it wasn't rated. I liked this movie. I only rented it because someone in my screenwriting class said it would be a good movie to watch as research for my screenplay. I found the characters very engaging and since it's a true story, very engrossing. The guy they got to play Mickey Mantle was very cute, which is an added bonus for any movie I'm watching. But honestly, I really liked the movie.
A great sports movie and still pretty current considering it was supposed to take place in 1961. There was Mickey Mantle, a Hollywood gorgeous bad boy, drinking and whoring around who came from a pool family in Oklahoma. A seeming victim of too much fame too soon since he joined the Yankees as an 18 year old and didn't even go to college. There was Roger Maris, the stoic family man who just wanted to play baseball and didn't know how to handle the press. If you get anything at all from this movie, and there's alot to get, it's if you become famous you had better learn about media/press management. There's the media who hyped both players either up or down, depending on how much either player sucked up to them. After watching this movie, I am convinced more than ever that you can't believe anything you read in the media.
Listening to Jim Rome show again and they're playing the Mark Madsen tape about him thanking his LA supporters in spanish. I've listened to this tape so many times. I think I like it as much as the Jim Mora meltdown after a football game he coached.
Anyway, then there are the owners, who wanted the players to do anything to get the fans to come to the stadium. And you wonder why we have a steroid controversy in major league baseball right now.
61* goes to show you that real life is always so much better than fiction.
Then I watched The Wonderboys, which reviwers really liked in 2000 when it came out. It's also one of the Marina hottie boy's favorite movies, you know, the marina hottie boy I used to have a crush on. I've been meaning to watch this movie, and Marina hottie's comment, made me rent it. I don't know. Maybe because I watched it late at night, but honestly the movie made me sleepy. It was so slow moving. Some of it was really funny, I'll grant you that, but those funny moments seemed far and few between. And then the ending just got so stupid.
Michael Douglas' character reminded me of too many guys I've dated. Middle aged, stoned, angst ridden, white male, bitter and drifting through life, wondering what went wrong when in their youth they were superstars. BORING!!! And probably boring, because I've dated these types before. Hell, the ex husband could have stood in for Michael Douglas' character and I've owned a pair of red cowboy boots since I was 22 years old.
I read the NY Times review of the movie and I agreed with them. It's a great movie idea but somehow it's a dud when watching it. The NY Times reviewer said that the screenwriter, who adapted the movie from Michael Chabon's novel of the same name, lifted dialogue right out of the book. And you could tell too. That part where Michael Douglas and Tobey Maguire are talking are so boring, so stilted, and not how real people talk at all.
I guess I could see how the reviewers liked it, because you hardly see this kind of subject matter made, but still. I don't know. Maybe it's because I watched Wonderboys the night after I watched 61* and the reality of 61* just seemed more real than the fiction of Wonderboys.
61* was so much more engaging about men and how they view and handle life. Wonderboys had too many made up plot devices like the dog dying, Tobey stealing the Marilyn Monroe jacket, etc. to make this movie very believable. I think Wonderboys was supposed to show the poignancy of a middle aged man, who needs to be rescued by some straight talking same age female. Michael Douglas' character came across as such a loser to me. He was a whining baby boomer, probably draft dodging male, who was wallowing in his own self pity.
The LA Times, sometime in the 1980's, had a article about the psychology of men who avoided the draft and went to college instead. The article said that these men suffered from middle class guilt about not going to war and had problems with commitment and avoided conflict and choice at all costs. Michael Douglas' character reminded me of this article.
What's probably true about Wonderboys is that there are many men in that baby boomer generation walking around like him. Like maybe some of the reviwers who liked this movie? Interesting theory huh?
God, do I really want to watch another movie about a seemingly privileged man freaking out about his life, which has all been a result of his bad choices? Rush Limbaugh would call Wonderboys, I think, the Oprahization of male movies. I mean, all the Oprah books were about women who made really bad choices in their life for obviously no good reason, at least the books never gave you really good reasons for why they liked fucked up their life. And Wonderboys is like an Oprah book, only it's a man and not a woman. But where Oprah books don't get a lot of respect, Wonderboys is considered a good movie. What gives?
Maybe I need to write the book, which reviewers said, is a tired old plot rescued by being very well written. Maybe not. I can't forgive a well written book if the plot is stupid. For most people, I know, it's the opposite. They won't put up with a badly written book even if the plot is good. I will.
As a writer of fiction, I am dishearted by what I'm discovering. Real life is so much better, so much more entertaining than a fiction book any day.
Monday, June 10, 2002
I went to the dentist today and I told my dentist that Paul, my ex-b who also goes to see him died. My dentist was so shocked because Paul had an appointment with him on Saturday and never showed up.
So strange to tell my dentist that one of his patients died. My dentist then told me one one of his other patients had a urinary tract infection and then died two days later. The girl was only 18 years old.
I guess you never know when your time is up. Then my dentist told me his sister died from lung cancer and she didn't even smoke.
Missed the whole eclipse thing because of my dentist, but I'll watch it on the news. I think I'm finally out of the Mercury Retrograde. YEAH!!! I can already feel it. I went to Macy's and bought one of those trendy tuquoise bracelets to celebrate. I love wearing oh so hip and up to the minute trendy pieces of cheap jewelry.
Other than my horoscopes freaking me out because it says some friendship with some guy is going to turn serious, which freaks me out because if it's who I'm thinking of, I'm like no way, the guy is way to freaky and creepy, even for me, I'm feeling good. Horoscopes are never right anyway, most of the time, except for stuff like the mercury retrograde. I wouldn't even consider this guy a friend since I've only know him a few months.
All the horoscope said was this:
There comes a point in any relationship when you realise that it has gone beyond mere friendship and become something else. If you are free to take it further, then this is an exciting moment; if you are not, then you have problems, because once this point is reached neither of you can simply walk away. The glue that stuck you together has dried, and it is impossible to pull the pieces apart without damaging them. This week's eclipse marks exactly this point for you; from now on whatever you are involved in will have important consequences, and you will be well aware of that. It's not a bad thing, by any means; but it's not a game any more, either.
God, how scary! That's why I almost hate befriending guys until I know that there's no danger of the friendship turning into something other than friendship. I am so sick and tired of losing male friends because they end up having a crush on me. It totally ruins the friendship and then they get all weird and can't talk to me because they want a physical relationship with me. And I just honestly want a friend and nothing more.
I hope the horoscope is wrong. If this guy is the one, then I'm totally fighting it every step of the way. The guy is nice and a good friend and all, but so not boyfriend material. He creeps me out for some reason and I don't even know why. He's weirder about food than I am, and I'm pretty weird about food. And I really only want this guy as a friend and nothing more. You know, it's always the ones you like whom you can't have and can't get and it's always the ones, that creep and freak you out, that you end up dating. What is up with that!
So strange to tell my dentist that one of his patients died. My dentist then told me one one of his other patients had a urinary tract infection and then died two days later. The girl was only 18 years old.
I guess you never know when your time is up. Then my dentist told me his sister died from lung cancer and she didn't even smoke.
Missed the whole eclipse thing because of my dentist, but I'll watch it on the news. I think I'm finally out of the Mercury Retrograde. YEAH!!! I can already feel it. I went to Macy's and bought one of those trendy tuquoise bracelets to celebrate. I love wearing oh so hip and up to the minute trendy pieces of cheap jewelry.
Other than my horoscopes freaking me out because it says some friendship with some guy is going to turn serious, which freaks me out because if it's who I'm thinking of, I'm like no way, the guy is way to freaky and creepy, even for me, I'm feeling good. Horoscopes are never right anyway, most of the time, except for stuff like the mercury retrograde. I wouldn't even consider this guy a friend since I've only know him a few months.
All the horoscope said was this:
There comes a point in any relationship when you realise that it has gone beyond mere friendship and become something else. If you are free to take it further, then this is an exciting moment; if you are not, then you have problems, because once this point is reached neither of you can simply walk away. The glue that stuck you together has dried, and it is impossible to pull the pieces apart without damaging them. This week's eclipse marks exactly this point for you; from now on whatever you are involved in will have important consequences, and you will be well aware of that. It's not a bad thing, by any means; but it's not a game any more, either.
God, how scary! That's why I almost hate befriending guys until I know that there's no danger of the friendship turning into something other than friendship. I am so sick and tired of losing male friends because they end up having a crush on me. It totally ruins the friendship and then they get all weird and can't talk to me because they want a physical relationship with me. And I just honestly want a friend and nothing more.
I hope the horoscope is wrong. If this guy is the one, then I'm totally fighting it every step of the way. The guy is nice and a good friend and all, but so not boyfriend material. He creeps me out for some reason and I don't even know why. He's weirder about food than I am, and I'm pretty weird about food. And I really only want this guy as a friend and nothing more. You know, it's always the ones you like whom you can't have and can't get and it's always the ones, that creep and freak you out, that you end up dating. What is up with that!
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