So I did some experimenting because I have two yahoo ids, and you can delete someone off your friends list but the other person still sees you online. "The one that got away" probably deleted me off his list a long time ago.

I think I'm all nostalgic about him because a friend went to the E3 show in LA, and I know "the one" was there. He works for one of those video game software companies, and spend 50% of his time travelling. Our relationship basically fizzled out because he was out of town most of the time for the three months that I knew him. Scheduling a date was not fun, and then I had a killer work schedule as well working 60-80 hours a week.

"The one that got away" made a comment once "that I should be more available" or something like that. Of course independent stubborn me at the time thought and probably said to him, "no, you should be more available for me - why should I put accomodate my schedule and life to fit yours?" I was so not into compromising in those days.

Now I think I would be a little more tactful and try to work for a win-win situation for both of us, instead of getting all pissed and huffy. In any relationship, both people have to compromise a little and I've realized since then that compromising on scheduling and time is really necessary when both people work and have intense work ethics.

"The one that got away" wanted to make VP very desperately, so he was working it hard, and I was working my bunnies off because I wanted to get promoted as well and make more money.

I don't think he's a VP yet, and I switched jobs and don't work as intensely so I can write. "The one" even had comments about my writing too though because I was in writing class at the time. He used to say "you sure spend alot of time in writing", and I didn't even write alot when I knew him.

I hope he's happy and married. He was really lonely, almost needy which kind of disturbed me, and really wanted to settle down and get married. He had one bad marriage behind him, and I could tell that part of him just wanted the whole marriage thing settled.

Memo to guys who are on first dates with girls. Don't tell a girl you just met that your last girlfriend was a model/actress right of college, even if it's true. LIE! "The one who got away" told me this story, and it really headtripped me. I think the whole time during our three month gig I kept thinking to myself, why would he be interested in me after dating a probably very tall model/actress now living in LA who he's still friends with.

I asked him why he didn't marry the model/actress, because he made it clear that the chick was hot to marry him. "The one who got away" said that he was afraid of their age difference, and that the model/actress would still be young when he was very old.

A guy friend thinks that "the one who got away" was totally lying about dating the model/actress in the first place, and only told me that story to boost his own self esteem. I don't think he was lying but if he was, why lie in the first place? It only scares off potential dating partners.

I think I need to do a clearing ritual to get this guy out of my head. I hate that I still have memories of him and I've now dubbed him "the one that got away". But, I do regret that we didn't take it further. He was so cute, very smart and very, very sweet, which is like a tripple threat, totally deadly combo for me. He was also very kind and so logical.

Okay, the party republican voting thing was off putting, but I've gotten used to that over the years. Aren't all guys republicans? My guys have almost always been republican, although there's been a liberal or two along the way. No Nader voters though, that's an automatic "no way ever" litmus test. And yes, they so know where I stand politically but it never seems to bother them.

Okay, so this is really weird. Yahoo messenger came with my dsl and I logged in usning my old account. Under Friends is the id for this guy that I used to date back in 1999. I was the one who got him to sign up for Yahoo Messenger, and I guess he's still using the same ID.

I can see that he's online, and I think that means he can see that I'm on online. Like why didn't he take me off his friends list. I mean, I keep him on there for like the most stupid sentimental reasons because he's my official "the one that go away", but why didn't he delete me?

God, I just hate this. I can't believe he's still using the same Yahoo ID from like 1999, and that I'm still on his friends list. WHY? Maybe he can't see me, but I can see him? Could that be possible? I'll have to email Yahoo Messenger to find out. I mean that would make way more sense right?

My apartment is starting to look decent again. I still have alot of paper from packing to throw out, but I didn't want to hog up the recycling bin with my trash so there are bags of packing paper sitting in my hallway. The thing about moving into a new place is you have to decide a new home for all of your stuff. I still have some orphans sitting around.

Like my baseball caps. I have amassed a good collection of baseball caps, which I use when I go out for walks. At my old place, I used to put them on the top of a tall bookcase I had. I don't have that tall bookcase anymore, so I have no idea where to put all my hats.

I saw this cool hat rack thing in The Container Store downtown, but I need to go downtown to pick them up. Or, I could find another place to put my hats. It's a dilemma.

And for whatever reason, I have like four calendars. I have two of them up, one in the kitchen and one at my desk, but what do I do with other two. One of them was a present, so it's really nice, too nice for the kitchen even. I always end up buying a calendar, and then I get one as a christmas present. And if I don't buy a calendar, I don't get one as a present. I never seem to win on this one.

So I ended up watching half of the The Bachelor finale last night, in between watching the Hitler movie. The Hitler movie was way too intense to watch for some reason, so when I was channel surfing I came across The Bachelor and got sucked in.

The girls were so pretty, and the guy was like so-so. He seemed like a really nice guy, but on a scale of 1 -10 I'd rate his attractiveness as a 5. I liked his family though, they seemed very nice. I hope it lasts, but some part of me doubts it.

I love how the guy set himself up to choose between a sweet girl and really attractive slutty girl with a questionable past. The Joe Millionaire guy did the same thing. The sweet girl always wins out in the end, but only because the cute slutty one either comes across as too money grubbing or her past comes back to haunt her. Could Hollywood have written better morality endings for women? It makes you think these shows are scripted, but I don't think they are. Perhaps real life really does work sometimes like they say it does on tv and in the movies, only totally exagerrated of course.