Updated the books I'm reading at the left, and some of the information. Just finished reading "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and Other Tales of Terror" by Robert Louis Stevenson." Stevenson is an interesting writer, and I want to read all his books. I kind of remember reading "Treasure Island" and "Kidnapped" as a kid, but it's all very fuzzy so I borrowed them from the library and plan to reread them.

Stevenson wrote this one short story called "Olalla", and there some amazing lines about love at first sight in it.

"My foot was on the topmost round, when a door opened, and I found myself face to face with Olalla. Surprise transfixed me; her loveliness struck to my heart; she glowed in the deep shadow of the gallery; a gem of a colour; her eyes took hold upon mine and clung there, and bound us together like the joining of hands; and the moments we thus stood face to face, drinking each other in, were sacramental and the wedding of souls. ... The thrill of her young life, strung like a wild animal's, had entered into me; the force of soul that had looked out from her eyes and conquered mine, mantled about my heart and sprang to my lips in singing. She passed through my veins: she was one with me. ... I could not doubt but that I loved her at first sight, and already with a quivering ardour that was strange to my experience."

I especially like the phrase "...drinking each other in, were sacramental and the wedding of souls". It made me think about that fateful flight when I met red-haired guy ... was our meeting sacramental, and did we drink each other in and had a wedding of souls? Red-haired guy said our first meeting and conversation was like "soul-mates". I actually remember seeing him in line, while I was waiting at the gate at Southwest. He got my attention because of his red-hair. He doesn't remember seeing me until he was about five rows from my seat, and he said to himself "I'm going to sit next to that cute girl, and I hope she has personality."

I also picked up the book "Story" by Robert McKee, the screenwriting guru in the movie "Adaptation". He has a seminar in LA in December that I'm thinking of going to, just to see what he's like.

I read through McKee's book, and then got really, really depressed. Screenwriting is such hard work for me, and there's just so much work involved than I have the energy to put into right now. I just don't think I see stories visually. David Mamet said the same thing too, when he talked about translating his stage plays to screen. You have to be able to come out with a visual way to telling the story, instead of having the actors speak on stage.

At this point I just want to finish my baseball screenplay, send it off to that screnwriting teacher in LA to get an opinion, rewrite it based on his feedback, and then register the screenplay with Writer's Guild, and then finally submit it to this website for consideration, maybe send it off to a couple of agents in LA, and then be done with forever! And go back to working on my unfinished, count them, three novels.

I kind of feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall with the screenwriting thing. It's just not an easy style for me to write in. The only reason I'm writing the baseball story as a screenplay was because it made sense as a movie, rather than as a short story or a novel. It just intuitively felt like it was a visual story. If I could turn it into a novel, believe I would because screenplay writing is just no fun.

I will write one more screenplay, my endless love reincarnation comedy, because that's another story that only can only be told as a movie and not as a short story or novel, but that's it, no more screenplays. And no adaptations either of my novels either, let somebody else slave over that work.

I want to watch the GOP convention this week, and to write a screenplay I have to write at my computer at home, so I'll have the tv on in the background and I'll be writing away. Red-haired guy is on the road at some other trade show, so he won't be a distraction, and then he's going to see dad and brother out of state on Labor Day weekend, so I have all week and weekend to finish the screenplay.

I missed my red-haired guy, but at the same time I do have the freedom to work on my writing if he's not around. I mean, either way with him would be hard. If he was here and worked close by, I think I'd resent the amount of time I'd have to spend with him and how much it would take away from my writing. But he's not here and works in LA and travels for business a ton, and I resent how limited time we have to spend together. I can't win either way.

Red-haired guy's birthday is coming up, and I'm going to tell him how much I love him on his birthday. It's such a corny present I know, but I don't know, it feels like the right thing to do. He's already told he loves me and I haven't ever returned the favour, although I did say it a couple of times when I've left him voicemails.

And I do love him, because somehow in the last couple of weeks I felt my heart opening up physically and red-haired guy just kind of stepped in and now he'll be permanently lodged. Love is such a gift from god, and red-haired guy is definitely my gift. He came so unexpectantly, when I was really, really depressed at my wit's end in July, and I really didn't care about meeting another guy and was pretty much resigning myself to being single and alone. I don't know whether we have a future or not, but for the short time I've known him he's totally made me happy, plus he's already fulfilled some long held fantasies of mine. Gotta give the guy credit for that.

He's just so refreshingly honest, says whatever is on his mind, doesn't try to pull the Mr. Mysterious John Wayne thing, wears his heart on his sleeve, is so affectionate, doesn't hold back, and is just plain fun and exciting to be with. I never met a guy like him before, I didn't know guys like him existed, never knew what a joy and open person can be in one's life. He just totally opened himself up to me, and it's been impossible for me not to fall for him.

But just because I love him, doesn't mean we have a future. It takes more than love unfortunately to make a relationship work. And I want "bashert", my perfect fit, my perfect puzzle piece, and I won't settle for anything less. Red-haired guy may not be my perfect fit, but he'll always have a piece and place in my heart for the rest of his life. Now that's a nice birthday present isn't it? to know that someone out there totally loves and adores you for the rest of your life?

I haven't been posting lately. I had dental surgery on Monday to have my gumline moved on the right upper part of my mouth, so I've been on some serious painkillers all week. By Thurdsay, I was pretty wiped out and exhausted.

I didn't work out all week because my mouth was throbbing in between pills, and I didn't feel like writing either. I did manage to read three screenplays though in preparation to start working on my screenplay again.

I read "The English Patient", "Frequency", and "Bruce Almighty". A friend fro LA said to read "The English Patient". I never liked the book, and was so so on the movie. Reading the screenplay wasn't much better for me either, although I finally did figure out what the whole story was about.

I still really like "Frequency" only because it's a quasi-science fictiony type movie about going into the past to change the present. Not sure if I wrote about seeing "The Butterfly Effect", but I really, really liked the concept of the movie. I think I "butterfly effected" my own life when I wrote to the red-haired guy that I was having buyer's remorse about turning him down.

I think in my heart of hearts, I would love to be able to write movies and stories on the level of "Frequency" and "The Butterfly Effect" because they're so fantastical, so science fictional but no too out there, and they deal with regret over things done and not done, and that everlasting feeling that most people I think have, that things in life would have turned out differently if only I had done a certain thing.

"Bruce Almighty" was just such a cute movie about God, and wishing you could have the power to make things happen differently and what would happen if you really could and the effect of having all your wishes come true. I've had plenty of fantasies in my life come true. Believe me, sometimes it's not a fun thing and causes way more problems than solves them.

Isn't such a universal human feeling, to wish things had turned out differently in your life than they did, to want to go back and change things, or to have the power to make your every wish come true?

I don’t know if the changes I’m going through have anything to do with that funny little emotion called "love" or, I’m just getting old and have matured over the years to where I’m much more willing to compromise a bit more when it comes to relationships.

Back in 1999 I was having issues with Steve, the man I’ve dubbed "the one that got away", with him having reddish hair, his travel schedule, and the fact that his job and his home was down the Peninsula and not in San Francisco. I had to think long and hard about whether I wanted to date someone who didn’t live and work in the "City". At least I remember thinking to myself, I didn’t have to cross a bridge or go through a tunnel. No B&T guys for me. And I’d really have to love someone to even consider seriously living anywhere besides city and county of San Francisco. And thank god at least Steve’s idea of a vacation from The Inn at Spanish Bay in Monterey, the guy was seriously Mr. Luxury Hotel guy all the way, and he didn’t drive a car on the banned list like an SUV (he drove a black lexus).

So flash forward to 2004, and now I find myself thinking I’m in love with someone who:
1) works in LA during the week
2) has double the travel schedule of Steve
3) lives in the east bay (a big no-no with a bridge to cross)
4) has absurdly reddish hair and yes it’s the real thing and not highlights from a bottle or from the salon.
5) whose idea of vacation is real outdoor camping like with sleeping bags and tents
6) drives a huge monster SUV
7) and, who I would seriously consider moving to Marin with only because he wants to move there (talk about a big no-no, we’re talking a bridge and a tunnel to cross.

As I read this I laugh at myself because I’ve always had to compromise about music tastes. Steve was into Andre Bocelli and red-haired guy has on his IPOD Bruce Springstein (okay not a bad choice but he wouldn’t be on my IPOD, Jackson Browne and Bryan Adams. Bruce Springstein I can understand, but not more than one song by Jackson Browne and Bryan Adams. I don’t even own any songs by either artist. I love Springstein’s ballad "Meeting Across the River", and the only Springstein album that I can listen to all the way through is "Tunnel of Love".

Okay, okay, I didn’t look through red-haired guy’s whole IPOD. I mean he at least had Elvis Costello’s greatest hits, but when I saw all those Jackson Brown and Byran Adams songs I was bit put off and didn’t want to freak myself out too much.

I've been thinking about what it means to be "open-mindeded", and received the following definition via email today.

This week’s featured strength is Open-Mindedness.

People are very open-minded about new things…
as long as they're exactly like the old ones!--Charles Kettering

Definition
·Open-mindedness is the willingness to search actively for evidence against one’s favored beliefs, plans, or goals, and to weigh such evidence fairly when it is available.

·Being open-minded does not imply that one is indecisive, wishy-washy, or incapable of thinking for one’s self. After considering various alternatives, an open-minded person can take a firm stand on a position and act accordingly.

·The opposite of open-mindedness is what is called the myside bias which refers to the pervasive tendency to search for evidence and evaluate evidence in a way that favors your initial beliefs. Most people show myside bias, but some are more biased than others.

Benefits of Open-Mindedness

Research suggests the following benefits of open-mindedness:

.Open-minded, cognitively complex individuals are less swayed by singular events and are more resistant to suggestion and manipulation.

·Open-minded individuals are better able to predict how others will behave and are less prone to projection.

·Open-minded individuals tend to score better on tests of general cognitive ability like the SAT or an IQ test. (Of course we don’t know whether being open-minded makes one smarter or vice versa.)

Open-Mindedness as a “Corrective Virtue”

Social and cognitive psychologists have noted widespread errors in judgment/thinking to which we are all vulnerable. In order to be open-minded, we have to work against these basic tendencies, leading virtue ethicists to call open-mindedness a corrective virtue.

In addition to the myside bias described above, here are three other cognitive tendencies that work against open-minded thinking:

1) Selective Exposure
We maintain our beliefs by selectively exposing ourselves to information that we already know is likely to support those beliefs. Liberals tend to read liberal newspapers, and Conservatives tend to read conservative newspapers.

2) Primacy Effects
The evidence that comes first matters more than evidence presented later. Trial lawyers are very aware of this phenomenon. Once jurors form a belief, that belief becomes resistant to counterevidence.

3) Polarization
We tend to be less critical of evidence that supports our beliefs than evidence that runs counter to our beliefs. In an interesting experiment that demonstrates this phenomenon[1], researchers presented individuals with mixed evidence on the effectiveness of capital punishment on reducing crime. Even though the evidence on both sides of the issue was perfectly balanced, individuals became stronger in their initial position for or against capital punishment. They rated evidence that supported their initial belief as more convincing, and they found flaws more easily in the evidence that countered their initial beliefs.

What Encourages Open-Mindedness?

·Research suggests that people are more likely to be open-minded when they are not under time pressure. (Our gut reactions aren’t always the most accurate.)

·Individuals are more likely to be open-minded when they believe they are making an important decision. (This is when we start making lists of pros and cons, seeking the perspectives of others, etc.)

·Some research suggests that the way in which an idea is presented can affect how open-minded someone is when considering it. For example, a typical method of assessing open-mindedness in the laboratory is to ask a participant to list arguments on both sides of a complicated issue (e.g., the death penalty, abortion, animal testing). What typically happens is that individuals are able to list far more arguments on their favored side. However, if the researcher then encourages the participant to come up with more arguments on the opposing side, most people are able to do so without too much difficulty. It seems that individuals have these counter-arguments stored in memory but they don’t draw on them when first asked.

Exercises to Build Open-Mindedness

1)Select an emotionally charged, debatable topic (e.g., abortion, prayer in school, healthcare reform, the current war in Iraq) and take the opposite side from your own. Write five valid reasons to support this view. (While typing Catherine’s idea, I had a related one of my own: If you are conservative in your political beliefs, listen to Al Frankin’s radio show; if you are liberal, listen to Rush Limbaugh! While you are listening, try to avoid the cognitive error of polarization described above.)

2)Remember a time when you were wronged by someone in the past. Generate three plausible reasons why this person inadvertently or intentionally wronged you.

3)This one is for parents: Think of a topic that you consistently argue about with your teen or grown child. Now, take their position and think of 3 substantial reasons why their point of view is valid. (This could also be done with spouses or any family members for that matter!)