I read that column about Marina girls. God, that woman was so condescending. I looked at the list and I could answer yes to bunch of those statements. So what. Does that make me a Marina girl? I don't think so because I never lived in the Marina. But what I think it means is that all young affluent attractive women in their youth have similar qualities.

I can't believe that columnist didn't say if she could have answered yes to any of those statements. Either she's lying to us and herself or she must be one super ugly anal hyper organized person. Whatever.

I read two of my favorite screenplays tonight; American Beauty and Wag the Dog. Afterwards, I'm like thinking what the hell was I thinking when I decided I could write a screenplay. I don't think visually, at least not very well. And to write screenplays, you have to think visually.

A little voice inside of me says that all first screenplays are hard and stupid and bad, really bad. Some people write a screenplay every six weeks and they've been doing it for years and they have yet to sell any of them. And here I am complaining about writing my first one. How spoiled! What a baby I am.

What comes easy to me is the the story ideas and the actual plot and storytelling. I never seem to run out of ideas or stories or plots. I also dont' have a problem findind the voice for my characters, which I attribute to all my actor training. What's hard is actually translating the storytelling, the plot and my characters onto paper. The language trips me up. It's like I can see the movie, I can hear the play and I can hear the story being told, but I just can't get it down on paper.

My poor characters. I want to make them real and believable like dolls, like stuff animals, like a hologram that you can see and touch and hear but you know deep down is not real.

It's true what they say, writng is all about rewriting, then more rewriting and then more rewriting. Nothing by rewriting and even then I don't think you ever get it right. I hate this fact.

I'd stop writing in a heart beat, but I can't get those characters and voices out of my head. They demand to be heard, to be made real, to find life in words on pages. I just wish I could do a faster and better job of creating their world.