Since I don't quite have a real drop yet as I'll be contracting for 30 days, I know I really shouldn't be spending any money. But at Costco today I saw Dr. Phil's dieting book on the book rack, and broke down and bought it. Friends of mine who read it and loved it, people I really trust, kept telling me I need to read it. I hope they're right, since I had the buy the hard copy of the book.

I didn't really follow my eating plan while on my training/business trip. I was eating alot and knew it, but I was so stressed out that I didn't care. My stress level was so high, I was even tempted to smoke. Thank god I decided to stay in a non-smoking room at the hotel, where the fine is $50 if you smoke. Otherwise, I'm sure I would have been chainsmoking every night.

I feel better now that I'm home. But it's also TOM time, and my h-mones might be going haywire. I sometimes get really depressed for no reason the night before it starts.

Two more days of work, and then I'm free of the crazy place. This is the first job that I've left with such bad feelings. I dislike having such bad feelings about my current employer. They are so not worth me expending any emotional energy on, especially a powerful emotion like hate.

I don't hate them, but they've made my leaving experience with them not very nice. The two guys I trained started to remind of the dotcom people I interviewe with once; those guys were so arrogant. I was so happy when I found out the company went under six months after my interview. Those guys were so nasty.

The training trip was however good for gossip. I found out that the company is not doing as well financially as they're saying they are. They're making money, but just only barely. There's a rumor that a big client's business might be declining. The client just had massive layoff and if they're looking to cut costs, I can see them cutting my company loose. Should that ever happen, my current employer will be in a deep financial hole.

My evil twin side is praying for this scenario happen. I can't help it. Those people I met with made me feel like a stupid, worthless, lazy employee. They totally denigrated the work I do, even though I had to help of of them this morning write a report query. Afterwards he said it was so simple, and I'm like thinking well if it was so darn easy, why did you ask me to help you solve it. Dummy!