Apologies for not writing. I had the worst dream on Sunday morning. I dreamt a friend of mine was dying and he was calling out to me to save him. It was so real and creepy, and it's put me in a blue mood that I can't seem to get out of. I've lost touch with this person, and have no idea how to get a hold of him to find out if he's okay.

I guess I'm spooked because I've three friends die in the last four years, and I was thinking a little about two of them before I heard the news of their demise.

I can't write, and I'm basically just holding on hoping to get through the day and then I go home and lie in bed all night. I felt like I was on the edge of a void, some kind of abyss on Monday night, and by Tuesday morning it felt like I had fallen in. Wednesday morning I woke up feeling like I was still hurtling down the hole like Alice from "Alice in Wonderland".

My intuition tells me to expect shocks, upheavals, and seeds of karma that must and will be harvested. I wish I could turn my intuition off because it's been so wrong before. And of course, my anxiety is going through the roof big time. It's not as bad as it's been in the past, but it's getting up there.

I wish I knew what was going on or how to dig myself out of this blue funk I'm in.

I was suppose to finish Chapter 11 of my Texas novel this weekend, which was one of my writing goals for the month, but it's only half written. I did manage to finish Chapter 10 of the Texas novel and then finish chapter 2 of my "Changing Timelines" novel. Still, it would have been nice to say I wrote three chapters in a month because it would have been a bang up way to start the new year.