I'm exhausted and cranky. I only got maybe three hours of sleep last night. I just couldn't fall asleep and ended up reading till 2 am, and when I finally lay down to sleep I passed out and the next thing I hear is my alarm going off.

I have to go to a play tonight, and I know I won't enjoy it because I'm exhausted. I had lunch with a friend and I thought maybe some Cadbury chocolate would cheer me up, but I ended up buying a dark chocolate bar by mistake and I hate the taste of it. I'm more of milk chocolate girl.

Another friend broke up with the guy she's been seeing off and on for about a couple of years. She didn't want it to get to the point where she hated him, but then it went that way. Sometimes I think that's the best way to break up with a guy. Get the point where you hate the guy so much and then when you break up with him you're not grieving and wondering if you've done the right thing. People say this is the unhealthy way to break up because then you can't be friends but you know, the whole "let's be friends" idea is so overrated. Who wants to be friends with an ex?

I wish I had broken up with the red-haired guy the old fashioned unhealthy way. I'm the one who broke it off because it was not a good thing for me, and I'm the one who is still grieving and wondering if I did the right thing. It's like been way too hard to break the pattern of unhealthy emotional behaviour because I don't usually break up with anyone in a healthy way and I'm not used to having so much regret about letting someone go. I hate the emotion of "regret". I've had very few regrets in my life,and I'm not used do dealing with this emotion.

I swear the next time I break up with some guy, I'm going back to how everyone else does it; unhealthy with no regrets because you hate the person so much.