I think I am getting old. Why? Because I have a hard time hanging out with people I barely know and I don't think I ever had this problem when I was younger. I've been hanging out alot with my screenwriting group. I think I've seen them almost every week since May 16 and it's freaking me out.

It's difference when you're in class because it's a classroom atmosphere and you're doing work and not socializing. Now I'm seeing these people socially and I hardly even know them and it's just too much for me, to be with people I barely know that much. It's a total sign of age. Plus, I am so not one of those california types who easily makes friends and just as easily loses friends. I make friends for keeps, forever and it takes me awhile to get know people.

Usually, I only get to know people I click with right away, so when you start hanging out socially, it's so cool because you both get a long like a house on fire.

Now I'm with these people, some of whom I don't really click with and we've been hanging almost every week and I am being driven insane.

I think sometimes I am just complaining and whining because it is nice to have people to hang with, but I don't even know if I even like these people yet. I take a long time to decide whether I even like a person or not, even longer to decide whether I want to spend alot of time with them.

Time is like this special thing and you just can't spread it around and waste it on people you don't know. It's too exhausting! I feel like I don't have a life and that's such a big lie, because I do have a life, did have a life before I met these new people.

I'll have to think about what to do. Part of me wants to just drop out and not be in the group anymore. I feel like I have no boundaries and I don't like that. I never got into the fluid boundary thing. But this is a good sign because I'm usually so boundaryless, so maybe I've learned to take care of myself finally.

I feel bad because I am turning into such an antisocial freak! But I'm tired and I miss my personal time.

I have a feeling that if I ever become successful as a writer, that this is how my life is going to be. Hanging with people I barely know. There has to be a better way for me to socialize with people I barely know.

I wonder if this kind of stuff goes on back east, where everyone is much more formal about friendship. Do they have this instant friends problem?