So I'm still fuming because this guy that I barely know one-upped me last night and it totally made me mad. Here's what happened. I mentioned that my favorite movie was The Matrix and he starts telling me that the movie is an allegory for the new testatment. And I'm like what? What the hell is this guy talking about? I think I was mad because I hadn't thought of this connection before and it pissed me off that this guy, who I didn't think was all that bright, thought of it before me. Then what's worse, I had to admit to him that I was only arguing with him because I had to admit that he might be right.

GOD!!! I felt like I was back in a corporate board room where I was the only woman in the room and some jerk off in a tie was one-upping me in a meeting and embarrassing me in front my boss. And it's such a guy thing to do, to totally one up each other all the time, whatever the time and place. And I had to get used to it if I was going to climb the corporate ladder where I was most of the time I was the only woman. I hated having to learn to do the one-up thing. But what I hated most of all was being one-upped by some corporate goof off.

I know women are supposed to want to climb the corporate ladder and break the glass ceiling, but what it does, what all that climbing really does, is make you think of every man you meet either at work or socially, as a potential competitor, as a potential jerk who's going to embarrass you and one-up you in front of people you know, as someone who stands in the way of your next promotion, the enemy really, the guy who's standing between you and the corner office. And it really doesn't matter if you meet a man socially either. You get the same feeling.

My best friend says this isn't a way to meet a man and find my soul partner, not if every man is at some point going to piss me off because he one-upped me or make me respect him less because I one-upped him. It's twisted, totally twisted.

I don't know how to get rid of this feeling either, because I was in one-up mode for so long. What's worse, I got good at it too, the one-upping thing, but I hated myself the whole time I was doing it because I felt bad about having to be so competitive with a guy. A male friend of mine says guys don't take the one-upping thing personally, that it's just a thing that guys do with each other and they don't think anything of it.

But god, that guy I barely know just pisses me the hell off. I feel blindsided, only because I think I totally underestimated this guy and I got caught unawares which makes me so mad.

My best friend also said that if I get into a one-up game with this guy I barely knew, then he'll start treating me like a guy and not a girl, and I'll get caught up in the one-upmanship game, which I totally hate.

I don't know though because now all if I feel like is I just want to one-up the shit out of him and wipe that stupid smirking smile off his stupid face. I'm like way too emotional about all of this. I think the best reaction for me right now, is to not have a reaction and to wait for my anger to go away and for god's sake, not try to one-up this guy, not when I'm in this emotional state, because right now I'm too mad and not thinking straight.

What a situation I've gotten myself in. I thought once I stopped climbing the corporate ladder, I'd never have to play one-upmanship game every again. Boy, was I wrong!