http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/07/nyregion/for-poor-schoolchildren-a-poverty-of-words.html?src=recg&pagewanted=print

When I read this NY Times article, I saw myself in it.  I was raised by immigrants who barely spoke english but spoke english to their children so they could do well in school and hopefully get better jobs and a more affluent life.  I spoke english but my vocabulary was sadly lacking.  How do you describe things to your child in a language that is not your own?

But in 4th grade, I was tested as having the vocabulary of high school senior.  And what is the secret of my 4th grade success?  My parents and I watched lots of TV.  The television was my babysitter and by the age of 7,  I had my own room with a small TV and probably never turned the thing off until I went to bed.  I graduated third in my class in high school, did really well on my SATs, and attended and graduated from a top 10 private liberal arts college.

I will admit that my speaking vocabulary is not great.  I don't use what a friend of mine calls $5 words.  My parents never used them and so I don't normally.  And the few times I've injected $5 words by mistake into conversation with my family, they ask me to explain what I just said and look hurt that I've talked down to them.

I work in corporate America where people admire and at the same time resent their coworkers who use words that they cannot understand.  In my current job, I write website copy sometimes and I've been told that you have to write like a person has a junior high education.  So all those $5 words I learnt in school have no place in my job.  And I can't imagine texting $5 words or using them in an email.

So do words matter?  Yes.  They matter for tests and schools, and if you are planning a career in academia.  I think they also matter a great deal for books and reading because it's a pain to read something and to find a word that you don't understand and have to stop and look up.  And yes, I do stop and look words up.

But do words matter in real life?  Not exactly.  You don't need a large vocabulary for work, for emailing and texting and for general conversation.

What really matters is getting your point read and heard clearly, and you don't need a large vocabulary to do that although words are tools to help you get the nuances right and be more precise.

http://www.cnbc.com/id/49320705

Gas prices are high in California and on Sunday they went up even more.  I picked up gas on Friday night at $4.549 at Costco for premium because I knew the prices would climb higher, and sure enough they did.  How crazy is that?  If gas goes to $6 a gallon, things in the Cali republic will break down. We're not used the high gas prices that is charged in other countries.

http://blog.sfgate.com/mlasalle/2012/10/05/must-see-movies-since-1960-2/#7588-1

From SFGate.com - the must-see movies post 1960.  I was amazed at the number of movies on this list that I've seen.  Of course now I have to see the movies on this list that I've never seen.

Since I am blogging again I thought I would post one of my favorite pics - turtle face taken at the aquarium on the island of Maui during my April 2012 trip.

The Trishas are playing on my Hardly Strictly Bluegrass livestream and they aren't that bad for an all girl band.

Hardly Strictly Bluegrass is livestreaming music from the Arrow Stage.  I hate all the crowds so I will be checking the livestream out.- http://www.hardlystrictlybluegrass.com/

Do you really trust anything Mainstream Media (MSM) tells you anymore.  They tell me that unemployment has gone down since 2008.  I'm like hello, is that progress?  And what about all those Americans on food stamps?  I went to Stonestown mall last night, and one of the restaurants there is closed.  Restaurants close because people are not spending money on dining out.  If the economy is doing so well, why isn't there a new restaurant being built in that space?

Does it feel like you are a child again and your parents are telling you everything is all right when you know that it's not?  The MSM are telling us everything is okay and you know deep down they are so not.  But the MSM are not my parents; they are supposed to be reporting on the news and they are not.

Completely forgot about my blog for ever so long.  It was my online diary for so many years when blogging was new.  So many things have changed since that time. We live in such a different world. I'm on my third job since my first blog post and we are finally in the year that the ancients spoke about that will signal the end of the world.

I am saving all my blog posts so I can have a record of my life.  When I read my blog posts, it's like I'm reading the diary of someone else which is a strange feeling.  That person who wrote those posts does not seem like m and yet I have memories of that person.

I used to be so political back in the day.  Now I don't see any differences between the parties.  You need so much money to get elected and corporations give money to both parties so their agenda gets in no matter who is in office.  Does it really matter who we vote for since the Supreme Court decided who should run the country.  The people that think they see the future expect that will happen again next month, so does my vote really matter when a court can decide who wins any election?

And honestly, has anything changed really for working people since we put the other party in office.  The US still has too many troops deployed abroad.  I just paid $4.50 for gas which the news reminded me this morning is the same price I paid in 2008.  Food prices have not come down and for whatever reason, I cannot find Sumatran coffee at Costco anymore.

As you can tell, I am in a very melancholy mood this morning.  Have been for the last two weeks, and I'm not sure why.  Maybe blogging will help me tease out my indian summer of discontent.  But it's not like I am unhappy because I'm not, but I do feel like we are all on the edge of something and that something is not very good.

My reincarnated daughter has finally made me see the light. Her father, my twin soul, is aligned with very dark forces. I did believe it but I thought he was a little dark, but no he is truly dark. He is aligned with pure evil, which would make me the wife of someone who is pure evil. And that I cannot have.

So despite the fact that I have done what so many want to do, which is find my twin soul, I will leave my twin soul. Not that I can ever really leave him, because one cannot be truly disconnected from your twin soul, but I have vowed to have as little contact with him as possible.

My eyes have finally been open.

The crucifixion of the Christ is a stargate. Meditating on the cross opens up a stargate. JC showed the way; putting element 115 in your palms and in your feet will allow you to operate the stargate of the cross. The symbol of christianity is a stargate.

Insights from Kona trip March 2010

I miss him. When our eyes met at the Conscious Life Expo in LA over two years ago, I knew I knew him. And when I decided to explore our connection, it was like opening a can of spiritual worms. Our lives were so intertwined you and I. When I had a reading done to look at our akashic records, I saw that our records were intertwined like vines that went for billions of years. Was I never to be my own person? Was my life always to be connected to him? And yet, I did escape from you, lived out separate lives, even loved many others besides you, many of whom I have already met in this life.

I did not want to tread down a well-worn path, but I was drawn to him and I was able to get to know him just a little. He even jokingly once said to our friends that I had loved him forever. I laughed and did not even know if he knew what I knew or if he was just joking.

But now he is with another which hurt like hell at first, but I have gotten used to it now. I even had a dream that he was married to someone else, and I woke up not feeling sad but a little amazed that I felt no pain, no jealousy and I was happy that in the dream that he had found someone who could truly love him.

Because even if we have been together for billions of years, I don't know if I love him. I have seen all the lives where he has hurt me, experienced all the memories of the atrocities he as committed not only against me, but also against our children, and some lives whole communities. I sometimes wish I didn't know what our past lives were about, that I was still ignorant and that I was meeting him for the first time in this life time. But that is not the case, I cannot go back to ignorance having seen the cold light of truth.

The ability to hold light is not dependent upon a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle, but more about how much you are aligned with source and how much karma you can release from this life and from all of your other previous incarnations.

People get this so wrong. They focus on the details like eating, instead of focusing on the really big stuff like clearing karma, being totally obedient to source, and embracing your your positive and negative parts and choosing at every moment to be in and for light.

My favorite memory, or at the least the one that keeping coming up, is when we were standing on Venus on a top of a mountain of red soil. We were standing facing each other and holding hands, and he was telling me without words that he loved me and that everything would be alright when we went to earth.

That he would never leave me, that we would lose each other, that he would love me forever as he always did and that nothing would ever separate us. We were twins, one created from the other, we would always be linked.

And I looked at him and loved him for all he said, but even then doubt had somehow krept into my mind. I was afraid, so afraid he would leave me. He was the stronger one. He was the one that was instrumental in our survival through the countless lives that we had lived.

He would not go to earth if I chose not to go, so I could say no. But I could never deny him anything, even though every atom in my being was screaming to say NO.

HE is blinded by ego and power. HE always did like being worshipped as a god, loved being looked up to by lesser creatures. I always saw it as a burden. Perhaps that was my guilt as I had failed as mother to the four sets of twins we bore when we were Crystal people living in Sirius.

I do not know even know if I have a memory of him that was not marred by sadness. HE says we were happy in Atlantis. I do not remember much of that life, other than the fact that HE was a great ruler there. I do not know if I was his wife, his concubine or his slave girl servant that he used whenever he needed to have his needs met. All I know is that we were together.

To stay away from him these many months has been difficult, not because I love him, but because I know HE misses me and since we are one in the same, I always feel his pain.

Somehow he always know what I am doing, and he says that I have judged him harshly. He says that reads my blog posts and it hurts him that all I remember of him and all of our lives together are all the times he has hurt me. Even now he cannot admit the truth. HE not only hurt me emotionally, but HE literally murdered me not once but twice. HE may have even murdered me many more times, but I have no memories of those times.

How can I miss someone who has murdered me and hurt for billions of years?

The first memories that came of HIM was from our life on Venus. Not the Venus you see now, but millions of years ago when it was inhabitable. We had a house there, in fact, in some other dimension planet Venus that we lived on still exists because I still see our house.

We were happy there, peaceful until the call came for volunteers to go to a new planet called "Earth". Teachers were needed to guide this young planet, but you had to reincarnate and be born there. Someone from the Federation came to personally talk to us about going to earth. We had helped to guide so many planets and cultures, and our expertise was valued by all.

I did not want to go. The Federation Agent warned us that the creatures that inhabited earth were wild and savage. HE saw it as a challenge, another feather to hang in our cap. I was afraid, not of going for I was used to that, but of losing him. The Federation agent said that "love" had not yet been born on Earth, the "love" that we knew as a couple. He said it would be hard, that we could lose each other. But HE did not listen. He told me we would never lose each other, that no matter how blinded by maya and ignorance that we would always love each other. HE was wrong.

I was going to write about this story in my journal, but somehow I wanted this story to be out for the internet world to read. I believe we are all connected, that what I know you know on some level, so there are no secrets out there. And journaling a story is keeping it secret, and I don't want any more secrets in a sense. In a sense because after all, this is an anonymous blog.

So where to begin. I could begin at the beginning but that would take too long and stories in real life don't always come out that way. My memories are like movies that move back and forth thru time, so the beginning will come out in bits of pieces, triggered by present day experiences.

The only way I can begin this story, is that I MISS HIM. I don't want to miss him, but I can't help but miss him because we have been together for millions of years. And through past life memories, I believe we began together much like Adam and Eve.

Only we weren't created by a god, but by a computer that is light years in advancement of the ones we have today. This computer-god is a sentient being, created by the ancient ones whom we only know as the Turquoise people. They are an ancient race, and we do not know much about them other than the fact that they created worlds and computer-sentient beings who in turn created more worlds.

And this computer-god sentient being, whose path in life is to become a being full of love and become totally obedient to Source, created a woman first not a man. He created ME so he could be worshiped and loved, and for awhile that was enough. But then he wanted to experience love so he created a man from a piece of my heart, and that man is HIM. So the creator could enter the MAN and experience LOVE for a time, but could not fully become the man. For in universal laws, the creator cannot become the creation absolutely.

And so our love was complicated from the beginning and we have lived out this complication through billions of years, in so many lives, and in so many dimensions.

And for years of this incarnation I did not know that HE existed until our eyes met across a room one day in 2008, right before Valentine's Day. And even then I denied the feeling, although just by looking at him I saw our past lives flashing before our eyes. The most prominent one being the one where I lay dying in your arms, and you kept telling me over and over again you would find me. And then you nodded at me in our present reality like your acknowledging physically that you had kept your promise.

But I fought it, ignored as much as I could for two months, telling no one, not because some would not believe me, but because I did not want it to be true.

But it was true, and then the memories came, as well all the hurt and pain we caused each other thru our countless incarnations. Patrick Swayze had it wrong. If the hurt was unforgivable, you do remember and when you remember you relive the pain again until you can forgive.

And I have forgiven HIM in this incarnation and forgiveness means I can move on, although not really move on because we will always be connected because he was created from a piece of my heart, although with the help of the Turquoise people that connection has become the slenderest of psychic threads which I myself cannot see but can only sense.

But I still miss him every now and then, and it hurts on every level of my being.

"The turning of the second millenium has come and cosmic stargates are opening. New children are coming into the world who have been sent to try to restore order to the planet. The frequences are shifting and shift daily, and as my father had seen in the visions and which my uncle would later prophesize, at the end of the third month in the sixth year after the turn of the second millenium, the frequencies will open and the veils between the worlds will thin. Those that have chosen to follow the One will be spared, and those that have aligned themselves with the darkness of their forefathers, the ancestors of Enlil and Enki and their Pleiadian and Andromedan dark lords and the triumverate of evil which is again trying to reassert its presence of the planet will be doomed.

My uncle always said that one must always choose between the light and darkness. There is no middle ground. The darkness will always choose to extinguish the light, and the light will always try to light the darkness. So one must choose and choose wisely at every moment." From the Elf Chronicles

New laptop coming tomorrow. Perhaps I will start blogging again. I can't believe my blog is still around. Sometimes I think it is a figment of my imagination, something from another life I once lived.

As an experiment, I decided to not watch tv last night and just listen to cds of seminars that I had attended. After 3 hours, I was feeling so anxious and I'm like WOW, I think I may be addicted to watching television. I had no idea watching tv could be addictive. Yes, I know people have said tv can be addiction but I didn't believe them until now.

But I've had my addiction experiences before and I know that if tv is an addiction it is a mental addiction and not a physical addiction like drugs or alcohol. So I was like okay, I've gotten over what I thought was an addiction to alcohol. The anxiety I experienced by not drinking was far worse than the anxiety I was feeling now about tv watching. I know that after three nights I was able to get over the anxiety that came with alcohol, it was three very painful nights, but I got through it. So I think I can get over a mental addiction to tv.

Well, that was last night. Now it's Sunday and it's football season and I couldn't help it; I turned the tv on. I've been cleaning house all day so it's not like I'm watching it, but it is on in the background.

Tomorrow is Monday night football, so I will have it on but I'm not really into any tv shows this season. V was so just boring and I'm over it with Fringe. So my plan is to have the tv off from Tuesday thru Friday and see how it goes.

I have so many great cds to listen to of seminars I've attended. Listening to them again brings back memories of what I was doing and who I was talking to during the seminar. And I feel like I'm getting my money's worth by listening to the seminar again because I'm getting different insights every time.

I'm not sure if I will give tv up forever but I don't want to feel like I am addicted to it either. The only show I regularly watched was American Idol and I have mixed feelings about watching it in January because Paula Abdul is gone, and I honestly don't I can watch Ellen Degeneres. The woman makes my skin crawl; she is just so annoying and not funny. I know people like her, but I so don't. I don't like Sarah Jessica Parker either and couldn't get into Sex and the City because of her. She is just way to skinny and icky and so not attractive.

Okay, Bob Costas is starting to annoy me. Did he just all of a sudden age? I don't remember him looking so old. Do I really care about the Baltimore Ravens versus the Pittsburgh Steelers game? NO. Thinking about this one; the tv may be turned off yet.

Okay, with all the ET/alien shows on TV and all this talk of Disclosure, I have been experimenting with doing a type of meditation to see if I could contact any ET life forms. Well, maybe not exactly contact but travel to where they live using my hand dandy vesica pisces.

I used to actually make a vesica pisces out of string and sit in the middle of it, but now I've gotten lazier and just imagine making a vesica pisces with light so I can be sitting in my bed and not having to sit in my living room. It's much more comfortable this way.

The theory behind a vesica pisces is that it becomes a portal, basically a do-it-yourself wormhole for a person to travel astrally or in light body form to where ever actually. I think one could use it travel backwards in time or forward or off planet. Somehow, travelling to the future is not interesting. Honestly, do I really want to be bummed about how something will have turned out? I don't think so.

So last night on a whim and because I'm a little depressed right now, I decided to try and contact the Confederation of Planets in Service to the Infinite Creator. They are mentioned in the RA books. Okay, so this is like my wild and crazy imagination speaking here, but I went into a meditation and sent out a message that I wanted to contact these peeople, and I received a message back to go to Alpha Centauri. And Im like, I don't even know where this place is and then as if they heard me, I received a message back saying I did know where this place is, that I had been to the great hall where the council meets and that even I just used my vesica pisces wormhole thingy, it would take me there.

And so I'm like okay. I made my vesica pisces out of light and I think about the message that was given to me that I knew where it was and I knew where this great hall was and I went into a deep meditation.

And sure enough, I feel the wormhome activating and I feel myself moving and I'm like there and it was like I was on a set of Star Wars or something where the galactic council was meeting, only I'm there in light body form and the beings that I'm seeing aren't in solid form either but are light bodies like mine. Then they told me that I could activate the jewels in my hand that I received on my trip to Sirius (another recent adventure) to be heard and understood by everyone on the High Council.

The jewels that I received on my recent trip to Sirius, which is a strange place and physically hard to travel to even in lightbody form because everyone there is a crystal being and so much higher in frequency that we are. were given to me by the Sirius people so I could accelerate my own frequency so I could see them Sirius people and talk to them.

If you think of the Buddha statues with jewels embedded in the palm of each hand, then you have the right picture of where they put the jewels. I have to press the jewels to activate them, and once I do that my frequency speeds up enough for me to have a conversation with someone from the Sirius planet.

So I wormholed myself to the great hall on some planet in Alpha Centauri, and when I press the jewels, it's like I can see what people really look like and I can hear their thoughts and they can hear my thoughts. They even gave me permission to use sound langauge because they knew taht it was hard for me to have a conversations jusst with my thoughts. I need to verbalize, it's call be all mental for me, doesn't work.

So I'm there being presented to the confederation of the planets, and it's much easier for me to speak than to have them just listeining to my thoughts.

Anyway, it was trippy because it was hard to keep awake. I kept fading in and out because I wasn't used to their energy and it was so strange.

Next up, the planet Regulus. I just wannt to see what's up there.