I took my computer to CompUSA for fixing. They did a good job last year, and it's near my office so I can take care of it without missing any work. Boy, do they have a backlog though! It will take them 6 days to even get to my computer, so I won't find know my computer's fate till next week.

Thank god for my little laptop, so I can still write and check email at home. And thank god I backed up all my writing awhile ago on CD. My screenplay didn't get backed up however, because it's so new. I didn't back up my email either, and I'll have to do that if I get my computer back. I need to also back up my pda files as well.

My poor computer. It's so old. I bought it in 1998, and it has served me very well.

My computer died again on Sunday, right in the middle of Game 7 of the world series and just as I was about to finish the second act of my screenplay. My computer did the same thing last year, so I'm hoping it's the same problem. I had a power surge in my apartment on Wednesday, just as I was turning on my computer on and blew a fuse. When I replaced the fuse, the computer was working fine. Last night, when I checked the back of hard drive, it was very hot. I wonder if the two incidents are related.

Thank god I have my baby laptop, so I can at least check email and not feel totally computer deprived. My baby laptop runs pocket explorer and Blogger Pro doesn't support it, although regular blogger did.

I'm not ready to buy a computer yet, although a friend just purchased a computer from Gateway for $1,000. Buying a new computer is going to take a lot of research. The tech guy at work told me he would build me a new one for a fee. I just need a new hard drive, and want to keep all my other peripherals like my monitor, scanner, cd burner, modem and printer. On the other hand, my last computer was built by a friend of mine and it wasn't without problems, so I'm wondering if I should just order a new computer from Dell. Then there's the process of transferring my files, and I'm not looking forward to that.

I'm also still torn between buying a pc and just getting a laptop with a docking station, but I'm starting to think it would be nice to have both in case one breaks.

I think I can get another year out of my old computer, if it can be fixed, so I put a note in my Palm to buy a new computer in August 2003. Delaying a new computer purchase till then buys me time to figure stuff out. What I could do is buy an old laptop for now, and start migrating my files to the laptop, so when I'm finally ready to get rid of the old computer it won't be such a big deal. An old but serviceable laptop would also be insurance in case the computer decides to die again.

I doubt now that I'll get my computer fixed in time for me to enter my screenplay into that contest. But if my computer isn't fixed by Friday November 1 when Nanowrimo starts, it's not a big deal because I start writing on my baby laptop since it has Pocket Word.

I definitely want to finish the screenplay with or without the contest. I'm trying to look on the bright side. I'm telling myself that I was arrogant in wanting to send a second draft of my screenplay to a contest. I know some of the people entering the contest probably wrote 8 or more drafts of their screenplay before submitting it, maybe even more. Some of the people entering the screenplay contest have written at least three or more screenplays, and are submitting their best work, and not just their first ever written screenplay like me.

I'm surprised by how calm I am. I don't know if I'm in shock, or I'm not being fazed since the same thing happened to me last year. I used to think that in my ideal world, I wouldn't have any problems. But that's not true. I think if you live in this world, you will always problems. Maybe an ideal world means that when bad things happens, you don't freak out and you have faith, supreme faith that everything will work out and works out for the best. That maybe you'll stumble a little, but you won't fall flat on your face, and if you do, you won't die, you'll get up and live to see another day. Now that's an ideal world.

I'm a little over my posting limit for the the next three days, so the posts will be very short.

On tap for today.

Heading downtown to get my bangs trimmed and to buy some items. I hope that the anti war rally is over by the time I get down there. Those anti war protestors can be downright nasty sometimes. I am a cautious supporter of the war on Iraq, only because I think if we don't do something, they will. 9/11 has definitely scarred my dove attitudes.

Then back home to write and watch the game. I think I read somewhere that no baseball team has ever won the world series in game 6. It's baseball, so it's all about tradition, statistics, records, and momentum changes. I love the Angels, only because they are such underdogs having never won a world series. The Angels are also very friendly to the media and fans, which I admire. The Giants, well they're the home team and you have to root for the home team, no matter what, even though they're not the most media friendly team in the league. So Go Giants.

There's a big Nanowrimo/Halloween party in Oakland tonight, hosted by the founder of Nanowrimo Chris Baty. Depending on how I feel, I might drive over there to check it out. Only after the game, of course.

GO GIANTS!

The Giants win Game 5 of the world series, and I have a writing breakdown. Life is great isn't it? I never hit the wall when I was running marathons, but I think I might have hit the wall with my writing. I tried to sit down on Thursday and write, and I couldn't do it. Then I just freaked out, canceled my Friday earling morning appointment with my screenwriting teacher, and started crying. I really thought I could get it done, but I couldn't.

I spent the rest of night watching the game, and trying to figure out why I had a writing breakdown. My conclusion was I was just tapped out, and I didn't know it. I hit the writing wall. I never pushed myself this much in my writing. I've had to do it at work, but not in my writing. I've had impossible deadlines to get stuff done at work, and I've gotten them done, but it wasn't without much pain and agony. I hate working under a deadline. I can do it, but I hate it.

TV episode writers work under intense deadlines to get scripts written, but they're writing one hour of TV scritps. I wrote an hour's worth of my movie in three days. Maybe that's the limit. Maybe you can only write one hour of movie time in a short period of time. I wish I knew.

I reread "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron last night. She says that you have to take care of the creativity well, and keep it stocked. She says to set small and gentle goals and meet them. I guess I didn't do that. I guess I didn't take of my artist child, and like any child, she threw one hell of a tantrum, shit fit and sulk all at once.

This was hard lesson to learn, but one that was probably necessary for me. I can't just write exclusively like I've been doing. Maybe I can do that work, because I've had, but creativity is different. I can't put my life on hold and write, and I did that for the script. I haven't been going out and I didn't rent any movies. I let myself watch the world series, but even when I was watching the world series, I felt so guilty for not writing. Silly huh?

I'm still mulling over my writing breakdown. I don't know if I'm lazy and undisciplined, which a part of me thinks, or if I just hit the writing wall and didn't know it. All I know is I'm exhausted and mentally tired right now, and I still need to finish the rest of my screenplay by Sunday.