Day 23 Bible Reading

Genesis 45 & 48, Matthew 16, Psalm 14

Matthew 16: 24-25 (ESV)

“Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

I love these verses from Matthew 16. For me it means if you give your life over to Jesus and become his follower, you will find your true life. But to become a Jesus follower it does sometimes feels like you are carrying a very heavy cross. I have had to confess to Jesus my sins, all the things I feel guilty about having done or thought, and my worries. This is a new thing for me to ask God in prayer to take my worries. I had no idea I had so many worries I was carrying in my heart and soul. When I wrote them down, I was so shocked. I was worried about so many things. Sometimes the worries were trivial, sometimes they were legitimate to what was currently going on in my life, and still others seemed so silly to me when I wrote them down. I was crying the whole time as I made a list of my worries. But afterwards I felt free, like a giant weight had been lifted from my shoulders. My worries were my cross and they were so heavy like a physical wooden cross. I don’t know why I didn’t want Jesus to know my worries and to ask his help to share them. I think part of me was ashamed to have so many worries. I have this belief that I am a child of God, and it feels so shameful on some level to still have so many fears and worries about everything in my life. I was hiding it from myself and from Christ, like it was my problem and not God’s problem because I’m an adult and I can take care of myself and I don’t need God meddling in my personal business. It seems so silly now, but that’s what I felt and still feel. I’m going to keep writing down my worries and asking God to help me with them, because I don’t know if I exhausted the list of things I’m worried about in life. I’m going to keep losing the worry part of my life, in hopes of finding a newer life in Christ.  

Day 22 Bible Reading

Genesis 43 & 44, Matthew 15: 10-39, Psalm 13

Matthew 15: 32 (ESV)

“Then Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I have compassion on the crowd because they have been with me now three days and have nothing to eat. And I am unwilling to send them away hungry, lest they faint on the way.””

I love verse 32 from Matthew 15. Again, we see the compassion Christ has for the people who follow him. He truly is the shepherd who cares for his sheep. If Jesus was unwilling to let his followers go away hungry when he was alive, would he not do the same for us now. Christ paid the ultimate price of his life to give us eternal life. It’s not that much of a stretch for hm to make sure we are always fed and will never go hungry if we follow him. Christ will meet our basic needs at the very least, but he can do so much more if we believe in him and give our lives to him. I think for us in today’s modern world, perhaps so much more than in the time when Jesus was live, we need more than our basic needs met for food and shelter. Our modern lives seem to be so much more complicated, and our needs are so much more complex. But I trust that Christ understands this and will meet our needs whatever they are if we follow and believe in him. But that’s the question isn’t it? How much do we truly believe in and follow Christ and all his laws and requests of us?

Day 21 Bible Reading

Genesis 41 & 42, Matthew 14: 22-36, Matthew 15: 1-9, Psalm 12

Matthew 14: 29-31

“He said, “Come.” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”’

These verses from Matthew 14 remind me so much of my own journey with Christ. There have been so many times where I feel like God has asked me to trust him as a demonstration of my faith. And I have tried to do that, and so many, many times, I felt afraid and it felt like I was sinking. And then something happened which saved me, and it felt like Christ was reaching out his hand to me and saying the exact words he said to Peter. Except unlike Peter, my experience wasn’t as dramatic as his out on the sea of Galilee. Peter had to experience it once, whereas I’ve had this experience many, many times. And after all these years, I still have doubts even though I have so much evidence that God never breaks his promises to me. And maybe it’s because when God did fulfill his promise, it didn’t happen in exactly the way I wanted it to happen, didn’t happen like the picture I had in my head. But God always came through with his promise, and it was much later in hindsight that I realized his way was the best way for the thing to happen.

Day 20 Bible Reading

Genesis 40, Matthew 14: 1-21, Proverbs 2: 12-22

Matthew 14: 17-21 (ESV)

“They said to him, “We have only five loaves here and two fish.” And he said, “Bring them here to me.” Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass, and taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven and said a blessing. Then he broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And they all ate and were satisfied. And they took up twelve baskets full of the broken pieces left over. And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.”

I love this story from Matthew 14 where Jesus feeds the crowd with five loaves and two fish. This miracle shows his power, and I think also shows his compassion for the crowd that had gathered to hear and see him. When we think of Christ we remember his miracles, but we should also think about how much he cared for the wellbeing of the people who were so eager to hear his words. Christ will do miraculous things in our lives, but he will also make sure that all our basic needs are met for food and shelter. God is a miracle worker for everything in our lives.