I'm on a mini writing vacation. I haven't written for two days in a row, and it feels good to relax a little. On Wednesday I was too keyed after the board meeting to write and just had to relax.

I was going to write tonight before going to "Gamester" at ACT, but a friend called and we went out to dinner. The woman who wrote the play I saw tonight said she wrote for 20 minutes every night and finished the first act of the play. Was that like a reminder from the universe to me that I have the time to write. That if a woman can write for 20 minutes every day and have her play produced all over the country, surely I can find 20 minutes in my my day for my writing.

I don't think tomorrow is going to be much better since I'm attending a reception wtih a friend at 8 pm, and she's treating me to dinner using a gift certificate at a restaurant someone gave her.

This week has definitely been a busy week. After Wednesday of next week, my life should calm down a little I think and I can go back to my schedule of writing and going to the gym. I kind of miss it.

So I was sitting in our corporate divisional meeting this morning, and I was looking at the slide deck that I helped put together that our senior VP was presenting. I felt very proud to be part of this collaborative effort. It made me wonder if this is what I'll feel if and when one of my scripts becomes a movie. I'll be sitting in the audience thinking, I helped put that movie together. A script after all is just the structure, one small part of the movie making process.

It was a good feeling until someone in the back complained they couldn't see what on the bottom of the slide. The slide deck was chock full of information and many of the slides were way too busy, but I didn't have final approval. I was only one of many people who helped put the deck together. Still, I felt bad.

And then I thought well, this is bad part of movies as well. The critics, the people who hate your movie, the waiting every Sunday for your box office totals and knowing that if you can't fill them seats your movie will have a limited run at the theatre and go straight into the DVD abyss. Citizen Kane bombed at the box office and the awards and took many years to be considered "one of the finest movies ever made."

I've got another slide deck premiering tomorrow night at the Board meeting. Again, another collaborative effort that I don't have final control over. Maybe it's a good thing I'm not attached to when my slide decks get changed. It's kind of a relief actually to not be totally responsible for a presentation. All I have to worry about is version control.

So my good mood has continued into the night. It feels as if I've really turned a corner in my life, and how good I'm feeling is so radically different than how I felt say a day ago. Whatever is going on in my life today, I'm grateful for it.

I stepped away from my Texas novel today, and went back to the novel I started for Nanowrimo called "Changing Timelines". I printed it out, and although it needs considerable rewriting and tightening, it's not a bad story. I was really surprised at how quickly I entered into the action of the story. That's a first for me. Usually the first chapters are all about exposition, but this story got going pretty darn quickly. It was fun to keep writing for it, and I was able to produce four handwritten pages as I'm still sticking to my Graham Greene four page routine.

Sometimes when I read over my work, I feel like I'm reading the words of a stranger. I can't believe sometimes the stuff that comes out of my pen. Where does it all come from?

I printed out the start of a short story that I keep meaning to write, and the voice in the story is so authentic and I'm like, who is this character and where did I pick up this voice? It's such an odd feeling.

I've had a pretty good day today so far; knock on wood. My last two Mondays were bad, but today was relatively stress free. I even started to get the feeling that everything was going to be alright for a change, and that's a feeling I don't get very often anymore.

I'm trying to keep track of my writing progress, so I write more this year than I did last year. I was looking at the month of January and saw that two weeks have gone. I started panic thinking the year is already rushing by and I'm not getting any writng done, but then I realized I've been trying to write every day come hell or high water it seems and I do have something to show for it.

Chapter 10 of my Texas novel is complete. Chapter 11 is outlined and 1/3 finished. Chapter 12, 13 and 14 and half outlined. And I started a rewrite of Chapter 1 which I really, really like. Not bad for 16 days of writing time available.

I've not even started on my goal of doubling my writing output on the weekends. You'd think I'd have more time on the weekends to write and I do, but I'm not used to scheduling in double the time. Since the writing by hand thing seems to be working for me, I was thinking I could use the weekend time to get caught up on my typing.

I'm learning that as long as I keep telling myself it's easy for me to get my four pages done every day, I can do it. But the minute I think about how hard writing is for me and how I don't have the time to do it, I get stopped. I have to fool my mind into thinking that what I'm doing is easy and pain-free, never mind that it really isn't on some level, but as long as I tell myself it's easy I can do it. It's not the getting the words to come out that is hard, it's getting to the point where I can sit down and be relaxed enough to let them come where the difficulty comes in.

I can see why all the books tell you that you should write at the same time every day. That kind of structure forces you to relax after awhile because it's not like you'll be doing anything else and you get used to relaxing your mind and body at that particular time of the day.

What a frazzled day! I got up late and when I finally got in my car to head to a cafe and write, my car doesn't start. I call Triple A to get a tow truck to jump start my car, and the guy says my battery is dead. I didn't leave anything on, and my battery up and died. This was very strange because I had just gotten a reminder from the car dealership that it was time for my 40,000 mile battery vice. I didn't pay any attention to the notice because I only have about 33,000 miles on my car. But sure enough my battery dies.

After driving on 280 for about an hour, which is about the prettiest freeway in northern California, I ended up at Sears to have my batter tested and sure enough after the first test my battery died again. This confirmed what the tow car guy said so I had them change my battery. I've been thinking my tires needed to be changed and my car needed to be aligned and balanced, so I'm asking the mechanic guy about their tires and there's a sale.

We go out to check my tires and he said I had about 2,000 miles left on my front tires and that it wasn't a good sign that they were cracking. And I'm like I don't want to spend the money, but it's either now or later and with all the bad weather and rain it might as well be now.

So we're looking at the tire prices and I'm asking about just getting the same tires that were on the car before until I look at the price. Those tires were so expensive. The mechanic guy says he likes the next tire in price better because the handling is better. My other tires make less noise but they're not known for their handling. So I'm like okay, just make sure the tires are balanced and aligned.

Six hundred dollars and an hour and a half later I'm driving in my car and the new tires make such a difference in the drive. I was right about the alignment in the car, because the mechanics found that the car was off in alignment on the front like I thought. The new tires are so great. They handle the road much better, and the difference is so noticable.

But what a hectic and tense day. I hate it when I have car problems. I'm supposed to only get my oil changed every 5,000 miles, but I'm going to change it this weekend because I'm at 33,000 miles. The check oil light came on anyway, and I'm pretty sure my four hour drive back and forth to Redding ate up my oil, not to mention my two hour trip and back to Sacramento last month. Better to be safe than sorry with the oil changes I say.