My friend S and I did a 2.5 hour channeling on Wednesday. Channelings are very interesting, in case you haven't been involved in a session. All kinds of strange and fantastic information comes through. I told her we needed to tape it because it would be so hard to remember all of it.

One of interesting things we saw was images of Egypt, ancient Egypt. At one point, S said a being was showing her the sun, and rays emanating from the sun with a man underneath. It took us awhile to figure out this was the mythical RA being, who has been written about and channeled by other people.

So here's what came out in the channeling. RA was married to this woman under Eygyptian law and they had children, but he seemed to have also fathered other children with other women as well. He was trying to create a super race of beings, all with his DNA, which meant the children would have great powers, great psychic ability, etc.

RA wanted to bring monotheism to Egypt, but we saw that Egypt and the human race was not ready to monotheism. RA's heart was in the right place, and we got that RA's heart is always in the right place, but it was too much too soon. RA wanted his psychic children to serve in his temple, and bring all the different gods and goddesses of ancient Egypt under him. RA thought that by having one god, all the fighting between the various people who served in the different temples of gods and goddesses would stop. I mean, it was a noble idea.

But RA's wife, whoever she was, stopped him. RA's wife, companion, whoever that woman was, knew that the world wasn't ready for monotheism. Some of his children were not suited to serve in the RA temple, and were more interested in serving in the temple of Anubis for example. She knew that if she allowed RA's plan to go through that some of the children, and they weren't all hers, would be so unhappy in the RA temple and would probably kill themselves or rebel and overthrow RA just to get out of the temple.

And this she couldn't allow. She loved RA, despite all the other women, despite the fact that she was expected to mother all of his children, even in they weren't her own, she loved him. We weren't sure if she loved in the sense that "love" is used now in the modern sense, but "loved" in a more ancient sense meaning she wanted to obey because 1) he was her husband, companion, mate; 2) he was head of the temple, king, dynasty; and 3) he understood her, he got her and despite his other behaviour valued her above all women.

So she forbade RA to keep all the children at his temple, and when the children were five years old, she "sorted" them and distributed them around to the various temple where they would go to mystery school and become priests and priestesses in the various temples.

So my friend S, who was doing the reading with me, was a daughter of RA who wanted to serve in the temple of Anubis. And RA cursed her because she was the most gifted of all his children, and he wanted her to be the head of the temple after his death. But S refused and rebelled, and we saw that head of the temple of RA had always been male and never female.

We kept trying to find out why RA would allow his wife/companion to stop him, and the only answer we could come up with was because his wife/companion was as powerful as he was, and he knew that she protected him and he needed her protection.

We saw that if RA had gotten his wish for monotheism, that the Egyptian culture would not have lasted as long as it did and would not be influential as it is now centuries later. By keeping polytheism in place, RA's wife/companion preserved the Eygptian culture for generations to come and ensured that the fascination for all thing ancient to do with ancient Egypt would continue to fascinate people through the end of time.

Interesting, huh? You never know if what you see or hear in these sessions is true or not. We saw how emotional RA was and how he kind of still was mad at his wife/companion because she never supported him. My friend S said that RA kept his wife/companion busy at the temple so she had to sneak out to see them. S thinks that RA deliberately prevented his wife/companion from seeing the children as his way of getting revenge on her.

But even if RA's wife/companion couldn't see the children in person, they were all psychically linked and she had taught them to contact her mentally which all the children did. So RA's wife/companion knew what was going on with her children at all times, and the children showed her mentally what they were learning so she learned everything they learned. And RA's wife/companion knew how to call the spirits, something which RA couldn't do.

We saw the timeline of RA's temple from beginning to end and that to be head of the temple you had to be a direct descendent of RA and carry his DNA. We also saw a staff that the head of the temple had to possess. The highpoint of the RA timeline was in the middle, but by the end of the temple days, head priests didn't necessarily have to have RA's DNA to be the head of the temple. Getting to be head of the temple was very competitive. Everything about RA's temple seemed to be very competitive since they had not yet learned to serve the light or source and there was alot of human ego involved.

I need to research all this stuff to see what other channelers have said and if there are any parallels in egyptian history.

I'm starting up writing again. But it's just so depressing. I feel like I am climbing up this huge, huge mountain and I have no idea how am I going to get up to the summit. But there's this something inside of me that says I need to keep slogging away and that it doesn't matter whether I am successful or not; the point is to keep trying.

THIS IS HUGE FOR ME! I like being successful. I have been very successful in my own way at so many things. I hate this. It's like the first time I got a C in college. Talk about shocking. I mean I got a C in art class, but that was because I couldn't draw. Getting that grade was a huge wake up call, and I never got a C again ever. I hate failure! It sucks!

Writing is such a huge process. The writing of anything is such a process. I just submitted three writing pieces for the self-published book that my writing group in Carmel wants to put out, and they were so hard to write. I felt like I was leaving pieces of my soul on the page. When I read each piece out loud to edit, I thought I was going to cry. I could hear the pain in my words, the sadness. I was reliving my own memories by reading my own writing.

And I hate getting emotional. I'm an aquarian, and I have five planets in aquarius, which means I am air sign. NO EMOTION. Emotions are weird, they are what other people have, and there I was having them.

I feel like I am back in acting class when I wrote my monologue piece, Art is Scary. The exercise was to write what we felt about our art, and I wrote "art is scary because he makes me do things I don't want to do." I left acting because I couldn't lay my soul bare on stage without a lot of work, without completely letting go. And I could let go, and I did let go, but it was so tiring, and honestly, I didn't know if I could do it night after night on stage like how you are supposed to do in acting.

So I went to writing because my acting teacher told me I could let go easier on the page than I ever could on stage. But I don't know if he was right. It's hard to let to go, and writing is way worse than acting because if you write every day it means having to let go every day. And some days I'm just way too tired to let go. Letting go taxes not only my brain but makes me get emotional, and I'm not supposed to be an emotional person.

I just got something. Okay, I'm not a normally emotional person but I understand how and why people get emotional and I'm thinking I can use this understanding somehow and translate it into my writing. There is something here for me which I have to explore.

I am just rambling now and indulging in a little, okay maybe more than a little self pity. BOO HOO for me, poor struggling writer. Thank god I've got a semi-decent job so at least I don't have a lot of economic stress in my life. Or maybe I'm just a lazy git and I just so hate writing every day. It's like exercising every day. Sometimes I'm in the mood to do it every day and sometime I'm not. Writing is getting like exercise for me. Sometimes I'm in the mood and sometimes I'm not.

It was so shocking to read this afternoon that Natasha Richardson had passed on. She was so young, way to young to die. I had a skiing accident while taking my first ski lesson on the kiddie slopes and it messed up my knee so bad, that I haven't been able to really run because of the injury since that time. My left knee was pretty banged up to start from playing basketball in highschool, and then getting water in my knee from playing field hockey in college. But the ski injury was the worse.

My prayers go out to Natasha's friends and family, especially for her husband Liam Neeson and her two sons. It's so, so, very tragic.

I am really getting into American Idol this year. I was a little bit into it last year, and I sort of faded after the auditions. I love the nationwide auditions which can sometimes be the best shows of the season. However this year, there are so many cuties that I am going to watch. David Cook wasn't even good looking last year till he got a new hair cut.

Memo to American Idol guys: It's a sad truth but on a not so hot guy, a good hair cut can transform you into hottie status. David Cook is a prime example. I think I read somewhere that people thought David Cook was just an ordinary schlubby looking kind of chubby dude, then he got a great hair cut and the next think you know, he wins American Idol. Not that David Archuleta wasn't cute, but he was way too young to fantasize about for the not in your teens set.

Season 8 has three decent hotties with great hair:
Danny Gokey - midwestern, great hair, great voice, love the glasses, chubby cute nerdy types with talent and an in-your-face sweet personality is any girl's fantasy. Plus, poor dude has lost his wife so he totally brings out the sympathy vote. The guy is a church choir director, can it get any better? He is a keeper in every way.

Kris Allen - wow, he is a really cute, I'd be screaming too if I was in the theater, plus the man can definitely sing and comes across as so sincere, love the tousled just got of bed gelled hair, works for me.

Adam Lambert - best hair out of all the guys, he's a rocker dude but not so dirty and drugged out or liquored up, plus unbelievable heavy metal singing voice, have you seen his parents, not sure where he got his looks from but it definitely wasn't them or that dad of his just has so let himself go in his middle age.

I love Anoop Desai, the guy can sing and it's so fun that he' s hindu india because it's kind of their year with "Slumdog Millonaire" getting the Oscar and Bobby Jindal become one of the up and coming stars of the GOP. But I don't think Anoop is going to win because he just doesn't have the stage presence of Danny, Kris or Adam. Those guys know how to work a stage all the time, and with Anoop it's just hit or miss.

I'm thinking it's going be an all guy top 5 which is fine by me.

Speaking of the guys, when some of them stand next to Ryan Seacrest you get to see how short and skinny that man really is. OMG, Anoop and Adam totally tower over him and they look so much bigger next to him.

And Simon is adorable as ever. I think he wants to date Paula but that would be such an odd match because they are so different. Love the new judge although I think can be as cruel as Simon.

I loved that the guys sang Michael Jackson songs. It's so weird to hear Michael Jackson songs sung by guys with more masculine voices. The songs are so different and they have such a different vibe.

How much money do you think the American Idol producers and iTunes are getting for selling the songs and performances. I didn't get into buying the songs or videos last year, but I am lining their pockets this year. I wonder if the contestants are getting money for these songs and performances.

I was a huge F. Scott Fitzgerald fan in my younger days and thought I had read all of his works, but I don't remember his short story "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". I might have to find this story at the library and read it. Short stories were F. Scott's best writing pieces. His last novel really turned off towards him. He was a brilliant writer but towards the end of his career he just became a little too self-indulgent for my taste.