Not sure I ever posted the story, but here it is. I had to write a story about what I felt about "my art", and this is what came out. The story kind of reminds me of the movie, "All That Jazz". To the Bob Fosse character, death was a knockout blonde with major T&A swinging on a swing in a diaphanous gown.
Art is Scary
I left home for the first time when I was nineteen. Mom and dad said I needed to go to Smith, but I persuaded them that what I really needed was to take a year off from school. They reluctantly agreed. I knew they were worried but I also knew they would never say so. It wasn’t that I hated my home or anything like that, I had a great relationship with my parents. I just wanted to see things, do things, see and do wild and crazy things and home definitely was not the place to do it. Actually I think the only reason my parents let me go at all, was the fact that I was going to stay with Aunt Sally or Aunt Bhakti as she liked to be called in San Francisco.
San Francisco to me was a really happening place. I mean, you know, old hippies, gay people, computer nerds and every kind of freak imaginable. And Aunt Bhakti, she was really cool. She was always sending me great presents like my incense burner and my little Buddha with the blue hair. Dad said she was an old hippie from the 60’s who never got over the Vietnam War and men with long hair, but she was also mom’s younger sister and very rich. They had to let me go, Aunt Bhakti was family after all. So off I went to San Francisco. Aunt Bhakti lived in a drafty old Victorian house on Cole Street, full of artwork, books, plants and cats. I had my own room, my own house key and keys to one of Aunt Bhakti’s car, a 1962 peach coloured MG in mint condition. I loved that car. I was in that car when I met Art.
Art was my first real grown up boyfriend. He was older than me, 29 and beautiful. He sort of looked like Jack Nicholson only younger. I met Art when I was stopped in traffic. I had been sitting in my car for ten minutes when he walked up to me. He looked great; he was in a dark navy pinstriped suit wearing a tie with turquoise and white horizontal stripes. He gave me this really corny line like "I’ve never done this king of thing before, I mean walking to a complete stranger and saying this, but would you like to go out sometime?" I was thinking yeah right, but he was really cute and there something about his Mediterranean blue eyes that was interesting and dark, really dark. So I found myself saying, "Sure, what are you doing now, want to go dinner when the traffic clears. By the way, my name is Melissa." Art smiled, and hopped in. That was the start of our relationship. Art and I never did anything except take drugs and have sex.
Art had lots of inherited money that he managed through his stockbroker. Art’s most rewarding quality was this talent he had for being able to look at any drug and tell you what it was for, how much to take to get high and how to mix it with alcohol and other drugs to get even higher. I’ve never met anyone since with that kind of gift. We did a lot of drugs together and it was a blast until morning. Most of the time, I’d wake up in the morning completely strung out, but not Art. He had great tolerance. He’d wake up at the crack of dawn, turn on the TV on and watch the stock market report. Sometimes I joined him but I would get dizzy watching the tickertapes go by and go back to bed.
I remember this one night Art and I had taken 4 grams of mushroom each. We had also been drinking cocktails earlier so we were really tripping. Art had a balcony with a fabulous view of the Bay Bridge. I had a fear of heights, and since his apartment was 12 stories up, I had never gone out on the balcony. Art went out on the balcony that night and made me go with him.
That was Art, he was really cool, but he scared me sometimes when I was with him. Art always made me go places that I was afraid to go, but he kept saying facing the fear was the fun part, living on the edge was what really mattered in life. He kept begging me to join him on the balcony. The best thing about taking mushrooms is you get a body buzz. You feel really great, almost giddy, you feel ready to do anything, and so I went.
I looked around. It was so beautiful and not as frightening as I thought it would be. Art grabbed my hand and took me towards the edge of the balcony. I suddenly had this thought that I would like really like living on the edge like Art and the thought was freaking me out, but I went with him anyway. Art was seductive to me and he knew it. We got to the edge and we both looked down. It was like looking down into a pool; I wanted to dive in. I was mesmerized; part of me wanted to jump, a big part. Art was standing next to me and holding my hand. Did he know what I was thinking? I wondered. He seemed to. I looked into his eyes and he smiled and said, "Looks inviting, doesn’t it?" I smiled back and looked down again. It seemed like we stood there for a long time, looking down, looking into each other’s eyes, and then looking down again. Lover’s suicide pact scenes were playing in my head. It all seemed so incredibly romantic somehow.
Art leaned over to look down further and accidentally knocked his beer glass over. It fell and although I couldn’t see or hear it, I imagined it smashing down on the street below and breaking into a thousand pieces. Then through a psilocyben haze, I saw myself falling and smashing on the street like the glass. I couldn’t tell if this was real, I felt no pain. I must have died because I saw myself looking down on my lifeless body. I felt sad, I was dead and now I had left my body. I felt tears in my eyes coming out and I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t.
All of sudden, I saw these little beings crawling out from my body. They were small and looked like diaper clad babies but they were walking. I didn’t know what they were, maybe they were toxins coming out, it was a weird scene. And they were carrying things. I looked closer at them. One baby being was carrying a book. I looked at the book title and it was the name of the book I had told myself I would write one day "Tall, White and from Detroit". How strange I thought? The baby being was carrying one of my dreams and desires. I saw another baby being carrying my Easter Bunny with feet with bunny faces that dad had bought me when I was seven. I loved that Bunny. I kept him because he had brought me so many good memories. The baby being was taking my childhood memories. Something inside me snapped at that point.
I jerked my head up. I was alone on the balcony. I looked around and saw Art. He had gone back inside and was sitting on the couch watching TV. I went back inside, into the bedroom and lay down, I needed to sleep. I knew Art wouldn’t mind. He would eventually pass out watching TV. I didn’t think I would be able to sleep, but I passed out quickly.
I woke up very early the next morning. Art was in bed next to me sleeping soundly. I put on my clothes, wrote a note for Art, kissed him on the cheek and left. I got in my car and went home. Aunt Bhakti was up, as usual, watering her plants. I sat down and told her I wanted to go home. Nothing ever surprised Aunt Bhakti. She smiled and said I’ll call your folks and book you a flight so you can be home tonight. I got up and hugged her. I knew she never really liked Art and I think she was secretly glad I was going home. On the flight home, I kept wondering if my room was going to be the same. Mom always has always cleaned and rearranged my room when I was away at camp. I had been gone for nine months. I was praying as hard as I could that mom hadn’t done anything to my room. I made promises to God, prayed to my blue haired Buddha, prayed to every god and guru I had ever heard of for my room to be the same.
That night when I got home and entered my room, I almost screamed in relief. My room looked exactly the same. Everything was exactly where I left it. I put my stuff down and sat on my bed. I saw my Easter bunny with the bunny-faced feet sitting on my bookshelf. I was glad to be home.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
This is fun news. Someone just emailed me wanting to know if it would be okay for her use my performance monolugue piece - "Art is Scary" for a reading at her drama class.
Oh my god, how incredibly flattering! Of course, I said yes and good luck. I asked her to tell me how her reading went as well, because I'm curious as to how her class will react.
I got lots of laughs and applause when I performed it, and everyone said I did really well. It's weird to perform something you've actually written, instead of someone else's piece. How often as an actor do you get the chance to ever do that?
Oh my god, how incredibly flattering! Of course, I said yes and good luck. I asked her to tell me how her reading went as well, because I'm curious as to how her class will react.
I got lots of laughs and applause when I performed it, and everyone said I did really well. It's weird to perform something you've actually written, instead of someone else's piece. How often as an actor do you get the chance to ever do that?
Here's some surprising news. That job I thought I flubbed and lost is now in process again. They called me back today for another interview for tomorrow to meet my future boss' senior manager. Apparently they've been crazily preparing for a meeting like I have, and were too busy to call.
I wasn't going to go because I'm way too busy, but I really want to meet my potential future boss who is based in Los Angeles and is here for the week. I mentioned something about working tonight after Ash Wednesday service, and she asked me if there was a catholic church near downtown where Enlglish is spoken. I told her to go to Old St. Mary's Catholic Church which is within walking distance of downtown and Union Square, but emailed her the links anyway for a couple of downtown catholic churches.
I don't think I've ever had a boss who went to church. I've met people at work who went to church, but I've never reported to someone who actually attended church regularly.
I wasn't going to go because I'm way too busy, but I really want to meet my potential future boss who is based in Los Angeles and is here for the week. I mentioned something about working tonight after Ash Wednesday service, and she asked me if there was a catholic church near downtown where Enlglish is spoken. I told her to go to Old St. Mary's Catholic Church which is within walking distance of downtown and Union Square, but emailed her the links anyway for a couple of downtown catholic churches.
I don't think I've ever had a boss who went to church. I've met people at work who went to church, but I've never reported to someone who actually attended church regularly.
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
For my SciFi, Fantasy and Horror Writing class, I have to email my instructor 350 words of "daily fiction" every day until the end of the seminar. He said it can be anything we want, a fiction piece, a good rant, whatever.
So I started idea # 2, a novel tentatively titled "The Dwarf who Heard Voices".
It's a first draft without editing or corrections, just whatever is in my head. So beware!
************
At night I hear the voices; always they speak. Not loud enough to hear very well, and yet not soft enough to be ignored. But enough to where I hear their murmurings on the edge of my consciousness and I see their grotesque images chanting evil words in my dreams.
When I first heard the sounds, I thought it was a radio or a television turned on too loud in one of the other houses. They built the houses here so close together with shoddy thin walls that you know when dinner is over at night because burping noises echo like bells through the neighborhood. But the sounds came late at night and we had a strictly enforced noise rule starting at 10 pm, so I knew it wasn’t one of my neighbors. And even if it were, I knew someone else would complain about it first and the noise would stop. But it didn’t.
I tried not to listen, tried not hear, even going so far as to walk around with earplugs or stereo headphones. But still I heard the sounds. So I had to listen to them, I was forced. And the more I listened, the more I became aware that the sounds were voices and that they were not dwarf made, or human made, or any other creature for that matter. No creature of this world could have spoken with those voices. And then the dreams started.
Those horrible dreams of misshapen dwarves who looked like they’d been wadded up like a piece of paper and then half straightened out again, always standing in a circle and chanting, droning on and on night after night. Standing in the middle of the circle was an outline of a human male figure with no distinguishable features, looking like a shadow but with bulk and form. He stood there waving his black arms and at least once every dream; one of the deformed dwarves would step into the inner circle and disappear. But not without a flash of the malformed dwarf’s life replayed in the dream. It was the flashes of life that I came to fear the most.
*****************
So I started idea # 2, a novel tentatively titled "The Dwarf who Heard Voices".
It's a first draft without editing or corrections, just whatever is in my head. So beware!
************
At night I hear the voices; always they speak. Not loud enough to hear very well, and yet not soft enough to be ignored. But enough to where I hear their murmurings on the edge of my consciousness and I see their grotesque images chanting evil words in my dreams.
When I first heard the sounds, I thought it was a radio or a television turned on too loud in one of the other houses. They built the houses here so close together with shoddy thin walls that you know when dinner is over at night because burping noises echo like bells through the neighborhood. But the sounds came late at night and we had a strictly enforced noise rule starting at 10 pm, so I knew it wasn’t one of my neighbors. And even if it were, I knew someone else would complain about it first and the noise would stop. But it didn’t.
I tried not to listen, tried not hear, even going so far as to walk around with earplugs or stereo headphones. But still I heard the sounds. So I had to listen to them, I was forced. And the more I listened, the more I became aware that the sounds were voices and that they were not dwarf made, or human made, or any other creature for that matter. No creature of this world could have spoken with those voices. And then the dreams started.
Those horrible dreams of misshapen dwarves who looked like they’d been wadded up like a piece of paper and then half straightened out again, always standing in a circle and chanting, droning on and on night after night. Standing in the middle of the circle was an outline of a human male figure with no distinguishable features, looking like a shadow but with bulk and form. He stood there waving his black arms and at least once every dream; one of the deformed dwarves would step into the inner circle and disappear. But not without a flash of the malformed dwarf’s life replayed in the dream. It was the flashes of life that I came to fear the most.
*****************
Everyone is talking about Mel Gibson's movie The Passion of the Christ, and of course I want to see it being raised a catholic and all. "The Passion" is like The Stations of the Cross at Easter come to life ... how cool is that!
We used to go to church every Friday starting the week of Ash Wednesday to do "Stations of the Cross". It never affected me till I was in my hormonal crazy teenage years. I have memories of myself at age 13, balling my eyes out during the whole service, suffering and weeping with JC, wincing at every fall, wishing I was the one who wiped his forehead, pledging my body, heart, mind, soul, and my life to JC forever!
Those were my "high holy catholic girl days", when all I wanted to be was a nun. I remember praying fervently every night for "stigmata" because that meant you were really chosen to be one with JC and suffer with him. Or alternatively fantasizing I was Mary Magdalene and singing to JC "I don't know how to love him", and dreaming about pouring oil and humming "don't you know everything all right, yes everything's fine."
Of course once I hit the age of 15 all of that changed, and I became a "cool left wing intellectual" questioning believer who despised bourgeois middle class values like religion and wore a french beret.
And well that changed again when I turned 16, and decided that what I really needed was to find myself an indian hindu guru so I could do yoga, eat almonds, be a vegetarian and meditate in India or the Himalayas and wear cool hippie outfits.
I cried my heart out at age 13 for Stations of the Cross, so I'll probably be a basket case when I see "The Passion".
We used to go to church every Friday starting the week of Ash Wednesday to do "Stations of the Cross". It never affected me till I was in my hormonal crazy teenage years. I have memories of myself at age 13, balling my eyes out during the whole service, suffering and weeping with JC, wincing at every fall, wishing I was the one who wiped his forehead, pledging my body, heart, mind, soul, and my life to JC forever!
Those were my "high holy catholic girl days", when all I wanted to be was a nun. I remember praying fervently every night for "stigmata" because that meant you were really chosen to be one with JC and suffer with him. Or alternatively fantasizing I was Mary Magdalene and singing to JC "I don't know how to love him", and dreaming about pouring oil and humming "don't you know everything all right, yes everything's fine."
Of course once I hit the age of 15 all of that changed, and I became a "cool left wing intellectual" questioning believer who despised bourgeois middle class values like religion and wore a french beret.
And well that changed again when I turned 16, and decided that what I really needed was to find myself an indian hindu guru so I could do yoga, eat almonds, be a vegetarian and meditate in India or the Himalayas and wear cool hippie outfits.
I cried my heart out at age 13 for Stations of the Cross, so I'll probably be a basket case when I see "The Passion".
I was so depressed and freaked out last night, I started reading Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross.
This book brought so much comfort to me during my depression times. I haven't read this book in years, but as soon as I started reading it I felt better. One of the reviewers from Amazon said she couldn't understand it at first, but I totally related to the book the first time I opened it up. It's definitely not for everyone, and my catholic background definitely helps me to understand it.
I wonder if I am going through a "dark night of the soul". It's only happened to me once before and afterwards, I changed my life around 360 degrees twice. I'm not sure I want to go through that level of change again, but I might have to if I am going through a "dark night" phase again.
This book brought so much comfort to me during my depression times. I haven't read this book in years, but as soon as I started reading it I felt better. One of the reviewers from Amazon said she couldn't understand it at first, but I totally related to the book the first time I opened it up. It's definitely not for everyone, and my catholic background definitely helps me to understand it.
I wonder if I am going through a "dark night of the soul". It's only happened to me once before and afterwards, I changed my life around 360 degrees twice. I'm not sure I want to go through that level of change again, but I might have to if I am going through a "dark night" phase again.
Here's a good article on two of the intellectual loves of my life, Christopher Hitchens and Thomas Friedman, The Liberal Hawks.
I'm adding it to my list of labels, "Brenda Elfgirl the Liberal Hawk". Even former peace doves will fight when attacked. I still haven't read or heard any cogent arguments for the other side that can stand up to Hitchens and Friedman.
My fantasy is to write fiction and stories as well these two can argue and write.
**For Hitchens, a confirmed atheist, the real war, the ongoing war, is ages older. “I think everything is a clash between secularism and religion – my original allegiance to the left was on this point,” he said. “You hear (the left) saying ‘Well, we mustn’t offend Muslims.’ Do they think the Muslims will return the compliment? Do they think the Muslims will recognize gay marriages? Yes, actually they do."**
I'm adding it to my list of labels, "Brenda Elfgirl the Liberal Hawk". Even former peace doves will fight when attacked. I still haven't read or heard any cogent arguments for the other side that can stand up to Hitchens and Friedman.
My fantasy is to write fiction and stories as well these two can argue and write.
**For Hitchens, a confirmed atheist, the real war, the ongoing war, is ages older. “I think everything is a clash between secularism and religion – my original allegiance to the left was on this point,” he said. “You hear (the left) saying ‘Well, we mustn’t offend Muslims.’ Do they think the Muslims will return the compliment? Do they think the Muslims will recognize gay marriages? Yes, actually they do."**
Stress is good for one thing; weight loss. I've lost 8 pounds since February 4.
My new goal weight is 126 pounds, which will be first thing I get up in the morning weight, but more like 130-132 pounds if I were to weigh myself during the day.
Ediets.com says I can get there by June, and I'm hoping they're right.
My new goal weight is 126 pounds, which will be first thing I get up in the morning weight, but more like 130-132 pounds if I were to weigh myself during the day.
Ediets.com says I can get there by June, and I'm hoping they're right.
Monday, February 23, 2004
I haven't been working on my novel since stress is not conducive to my creativity, but I did come up with three new ideas for story tonight. I had the first session of my "Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Horror" writing class tonight, so I guess I'm getting inspired.
1. "Confessions of a Chocolate Shiksa Goddess" - came up with this one on the way to class, semi-autobiographical story on the joys and perils of dating jewish men. It takes place in NYC, and is supposed to be very comical. Thinking about the title "confessions of a pineapple flavoured chocolate shiksa goddess" as well, but that would be way too biographical sounding.
2. "The Dwarf who heard voices" - some weird scifi story about a female dwarf who hears weird voices in the night, and finds out that she's living one some kind of evil site for the Belial (another name for satan in the bible). She loses her job, her man, and gets booted out of her home and into the crazy dwarf asylum. But she escapes and starts to investigate the evil cult of Belial. She was journalist before, so becomes an underground journalist investigating satanic cults. She disguises herself as a homeless person, but then gets caught and is killed and cursed.
3. "Confessions of a Robot Sex Worker" - a variant of the chocolate shiksa story but changed so it could be a science fiction story. It would be fun to write a diary from a robot sex worker. I would model her on those spooky robots chicks from that bizarre movie "Cherry 2000". Should be a comical story because robot chick sex worker would be so clinical about sex, and there would be dominatrix stories and things of that nature. I don't know, I think it's funny.
1. "Confessions of a Chocolate Shiksa Goddess" - came up with this one on the way to class, semi-autobiographical story on the joys and perils of dating jewish men. It takes place in NYC, and is supposed to be very comical. Thinking about the title "confessions of a pineapple flavoured chocolate shiksa goddess" as well, but that would be way too biographical sounding.
2. "The Dwarf who heard voices" - some weird scifi story about a female dwarf who hears weird voices in the night, and finds out that she's living one some kind of evil site for the Belial (another name for satan in the bible). She loses her job, her man, and gets booted out of her home and into the crazy dwarf asylum. But she escapes and starts to investigate the evil cult of Belial. She was journalist before, so becomes an underground journalist investigating satanic cults. She disguises herself as a homeless person, but then gets caught and is killed and cursed.
3. "Confessions of a Robot Sex Worker" - a variant of the chocolate shiksa story but changed so it could be a science fiction story. It would be fun to write a diary from a robot sex worker. I would model her on those spooky robots chicks from that bizarre movie "Cherry 2000". Should be a comical story because robot chick sex worker would be so clinical about sex, and there would be dominatrix stories and things of that nature. I don't know, I think it's funny.
Sorry for not posting. I took the day off on Friday because I had to use my birthday holiday within 30 days, a company rule I didn't know existed until this year. Spent the whole day studying for my film history mid term next Thursday.
I was expecting to get a call back from that company I interviewed for on Tuesday, but there was no call. God, I hate interviewing for a new job!
I got so depressed and woke up sick and tired on Saturday, and spent most of the day in bed. I finally dragged myself out and called a friend and felt better after that. I was supposed to go to the Orchid show on Saturday too.
On Sunday, I woke up feeling the same way so I skipped church and slept till the late afternoon. I don't know if I'm really depressed or just coming down with something. One of my therapists told me once that sometimes it's okay to just do nothing except sleep. Sometimes your body just needs to shut down for awhile.
Went to bed on Sunday dreading my job, dreading my life, wondering how I was going to face it all. Some 12-step voice in my head kept saying "one day at a time, one day at a time".
Once I started working this morning I felt better. I have a ton of work to do this week preparing for a new client presentation on Friday. I called my boss this morning to talk about what I have to do for the week, and he was trying to be nice. Don't trust him though, which I feel bad about.
The consultant I work with called and asked me how the job was going. I told him I was looking for another job, and he said he was going to try and find out what was going on from some exec VP he works with. It's nice that he cares, but there's nothing he can do about my job situation.
I think I'm depressed because I really wanted that job I interviewed for on Tuesday. It was more responsibility than I'm used to, but I think I could have done it. The job was perfect too since the offices are in downtown San Francisco, and I wanted to work downtown again.
I keep telling myself it's okay, it was my first job interview in four years and I blew the interview because I'm so out of practice. But what freaks me out even more is my intuition kept telling me I had the job. I never get intuitions about any job I'm interviewing for, so I was really hopeful.
What a hoax! My intuition was so off! How can my intuition be so wrong? It's never been wrong like this before. It makes me think I can't trust myself, can't trust my intuition and that's so depressing. If I can't trust my gut instincts, what can I trust?
I was expecting to get a call back from that company I interviewed for on Tuesday, but there was no call. God, I hate interviewing for a new job!
I got so depressed and woke up sick and tired on Saturday, and spent most of the day in bed. I finally dragged myself out and called a friend and felt better after that. I was supposed to go to the Orchid show on Saturday too.
On Sunday, I woke up feeling the same way so I skipped church and slept till the late afternoon. I don't know if I'm really depressed or just coming down with something. One of my therapists told me once that sometimes it's okay to just do nothing except sleep. Sometimes your body just needs to shut down for awhile.
Went to bed on Sunday dreading my job, dreading my life, wondering how I was going to face it all. Some 12-step voice in my head kept saying "one day at a time, one day at a time".
Once I started working this morning I felt better. I have a ton of work to do this week preparing for a new client presentation on Friday. I called my boss this morning to talk about what I have to do for the week, and he was trying to be nice. Don't trust him though, which I feel bad about.
The consultant I work with called and asked me how the job was going. I told him I was looking for another job, and he said he was going to try and find out what was going on from some exec VP he works with. It's nice that he cares, but there's nothing he can do about my job situation.
I think I'm depressed because I really wanted that job I interviewed for on Tuesday. It was more responsibility than I'm used to, but I think I could have done it. The job was perfect too since the offices are in downtown San Francisco, and I wanted to work downtown again.
I keep telling myself it's okay, it was my first job interview in four years and I blew the interview because I'm so out of practice. But what freaks me out even more is my intuition kept telling me I had the job. I never get intuitions about any job I'm interviewing for, so I was really hopeful.
What a hoax! My intuition was so off! How can my intuition be so wrong? It's never been wrong like this before. It makes me think I can't trust myself, can't trust my intuition and that's so depressing. If I can't trust my gut instincts, what can I trust?
Thursday, February 19, 2004
On the diet front, I lost one pound this week. I'm surprised I lost weight at all because I've been so stressed out and ate out twice last week.
We ended up going to Chevy's after the ballet because there was a half an hour wait at Max's and there was no room to wait at the bar. Those darn warm tortilla chips are just addictive, and we went through 2.5 baskets of chips. I also had a giant margarita, which I'm sure just upped my calorie count.
But I did only eat half my dinner, and took the rest home. The leftovers are still sitting in the freezer, and I can't decide whether to eat them or just throw them away. I took home half a chicken tamale, half a chile rileno, rice and beans.
I'm pretty happy with the diet because I'm not that hungry. I feel hunger pains, but I'm trying to ignore them and anyway they're not that severe yet. My size 8 Ralph Lauren jeans are fitting again, although I think theyr'e still too snug.
We ended up going to Chevy's after the ballet because there was a half an hour wait at Max's and there was no room to wait at the bar. Those darn warm tortilla chips are just addictive, and we went through 2.5 baskets of chips. I also had a giant margarita, which I'm sure just upped my calorie count.
But I did only eat half my dinner, and took the rest home. The leftovers are still sitting in the freezer, and I can't decide whether to eat them or just throw them away. I took home half a chicken tamale, half a chile rileno, rice and beans.
I'm pretty happy with the diet because I'm not that hungry. I feel hunger pains, but I'm trying to ignore them and anyway they're not that severe yet. My size 8 Ralph Lauren jeans are fitting again, although I think theyr'e still too snug.
I've been doing a lot of personal journaling, so writing in the blog seemed redundant these last few days.
I think I'm still trying to process the events of February 5 and my desire to leave my job, so I'm journaling and doing exercises like crazy. I hate to leave a job where it's cosy and I've been relatively stress free for four years.
As I write that line, I wonder if I'm just fooling myself that that my job has been relatively stress free because it really hasn't. What's stress free is the level of work and the amount of hours that I work. What's not stress free is the constant reorganization that keeps going on in the company and has been going on since day one.
I had an interview on Tuesday that I thought was going pretty well, until we noticed there was a mistake on my resume. Damn! I hate that. What a bad first impression to leave on people. Oh well. I guess there could have been worse things that could have happened.
Three or four weird things did happen which I've been journaling about as well.
1) There was JC reference in my interview. I never had that happen to me before. I interviewed with two people and one of them said, "We don't expect you to turn water into wine." I think my mouth almost dropped open, like where the heck did that come from? My spiritual side likes to think that JC was there with me at my interview and somehow that was like my sign to know. But then again, I don't know what to think. I just don't remember ever hearing a JC reference ever in an interview.
2) One of the interviewers looked me straight in the eyes, and I felt my heart twinge as he said this like he was tryiing to speak to me heart to heart, that a lot of job was going to be staring at numbers and spreadsheets day in and day out. I think he was trying to tell me how boring the job can be, and I was thinking to myself that I've been staring at numbers in spreadsheets most of my working life.
3) At the end of the interview, they asked me if I had any questions and I started talking about where I saw the proram going in the future. I felt another heart twinge there, and I felt we really connected and they were impressed about my suggestions. A friend suggested that if they don't hire me, they'll steal my ideas but I don't care about that.
4) One of the interviewers had heard of my college, and said his brother-in-law taught art history there now. What a small world and what a weird connection to have with someone I just met.
I wasn't happy coming out of that interview, thinking that I stunk to high heaven, but I've never had a good feeling about any job interview I've ever had. Then I came home, and I received an intuition that I got the job but I don't know if I can trust that feeling.
They said they were interviewing other candidates and would let me know either the end of this week or the beginning of next, if they wanted to schedule me back for a second interview. They asked me when I could start because they want to fill the position in a month, and I said I needed to give two weeks notice to my current job.
It's a newly created position, which has its good and bad points. The bad point would be that there would be no on to train me on how to do the job, but that could also be a good point because I could make the job my own. But because it's a newly created position, I think there is a lot expectation as to what this person will do but no history to back up their expectations.
In other words, it's a fly by the seat of your pants kind of job and I haven't had one of those in four years. Well technically that's not true because my last three jobs were newly created positions, but it's also been four years since I've had to start over in a new job.
There is more stuff going on as well for me emotionally, since I think any job change brings up all kinds of stuff up. It's been a little stressful dealing with emotional stuff coming out. On the current job front, I've come to a neutral feeling about it and things have settled down and I'm busier than ever. Whenever my new boss calls, he's been very nice and not awkward with me as he was last week or the week before. If he could get over his control issues with me working at home, I think he might actually turn out be a good guy to work for in the end. But only time will tell right?
I think I'm still trying to process the events of February 5 and my desire to leave my job, so I'm journaling and doing exercises like crazy. I hate to leave a job where it's cosy and I've been relatively stress free for four years.
As I write that line, I wonder if I'm just fooling myself that that my job has been relatively stress free because it really hasn't. What's stress free is the level of work and the amount of hours that I work. What's not stress free is the constant reorganization that keeps going on in the company and has been going on since day one.
I had an interview on Tuesday that I thought was going pretty well, until we noticed there was a mistake on my resume. Damn! I hate that. What a bad first impression to leave on people. Oh well. I guess there could have been worse things that could have happened.
Three or four weird things did happen which I've been journaling about as well.
1) There was JC reference in my interview. I never had that happen to me before. I interviewed with two people and one of them said, "We don't expect you to turn water into wine." I think my mouth almost dropped open, like where the heck did that come from? My spiritual side likes to think that JC was there with me at my interview and somehow that was like my sign to know. But then again, I don't know what to think. I just don't remember ever hearing a JC reference ever in an interview.
2) One of the interviewers looked me straight in the eyes, and I felt my heart twinge as he said this like he was tryiing to speak to me heart to heart, that a lot of job was going to be staring at numbers and spreadsheets day in and day out. I think he was trying to tell me how boring the job can be, and I was thinking to myself that I've been staring at numbers in spreadsheets most of my working life.
3) At the end of the interview, they asked me if I had any questions and I started talking about where I saw the proram going in the future. I felt another heart twinge there, and I felt we really connected and they were impressed about my suggestions. A friend suggested that if they don't hire me, they'll steal my ideas but I don't care about that.
4) One of the interviewers had heard of my college, and said his brother-in-law taught art history there now. What a small world and what a weird connection to have with someone I just met.
I wasn't happy coming out of that interview, thinking that I stunk to high heaven, but I've never had a good feeling about any job interview I've ever had. Then I came home, and I received an intuition that I got the job but I don't know if I can trust that feeling.
They said they were interviewing other candidates and would let me know either the end of this week or the beginning of next, if they wanted to schedule me back for a second interview. They asked me when I could start because they want to fill the position in a month, and I said I needed to give two weeks notice to my current job.
It's a newly created position, which has its good and bad points. The bad point would be that there would be no on to train me on how to do the job, but that could also be a good point because I could make the job my own. But because it's a newly created position, I think there is a lot expectation as to what this person will do but no history to back up their expectations.
In other words, it's a fly by the seat of your pants kind of job and I haven't had one of those in four years. Well technically that's not true because my last three jobs were newly created positions, but it's also been four years since I've had to start over in a new job.
There is more stuff going on as well for me emotionally, since I think any job change brings up all kinds of stuff up. It's been a little stressful dealing with emotional stuff coming out. On the current job front, I've come to a neutral feeling about it and things have settled down and I'm busier than ever. Whenever my new boss calls, he's been very nice and not awkward with me as he was last week or the week before. If he could get over his control issues with me working at home, I think he might actually turn out be a good guy to work for in the end. But only time will tell right?
Monday, February 16, 2004
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
I'm off to see the ballet, Don Quixote (Full-Length) at SF Ballet.
We're going to the matinee, and then we'll probably go to Max's Cafe for dinner. This is my first time dining out while on the new diet. It's going to be interesting. I'm planning to order a green salad with a low fat dressing, and then order a pastrami sandwich and only eat half of it.
I hate being on a diet and eating out, but I've got to learn to eat healthily and small while having a meal out. A friend of mine said, a doggie bag is a girl's and any dieter's best friend. You can order a full meal, and have half at the restaurant and take the rest home for another meal. It's like eating out twice.
I'm off to see the ballet, Don Quixote (Full-Length) at SF Ballet.
We're going to the matinee, and then we'll probably go to Max's Cafe for dinner. This is my first time dining out while on the new diet. It's going to be interesting. I'm planning to order a green salad with a low fat dressing, and then order a pastrami sandwich and only eat half of it.
I hate being on a diet and eating out, but I've got to learn to eat healthily and small while having a meal out. A friend of mine said, a doggie bag is a girl's and any dieter's best friend. You can order a full meal, and have half at the restaurant and take the rest home for another meal. It's like eating out twice.
Thursday, February 12, 2004
I know you'll be heartbroken about this news, The Storybook Romance Comes To An End For Barbie And Ken.
Barbie and Ken are breaking up, but Barbie is no fool. She's already got her safety raft guy lined up, and his name is Blaine the Australian boogie boarder.
I think Barbie is going through a major mid life crisis, and dumping Ken who was always a little too swish. There were all those rumours that Ken was too narcissistic anyway, and playing both sides of the field. Who needs that? So Barbie got smart and rediscovered her surfer girl roots, and turned into "Cali Girl Barbie". And what better for a surfer girl than an Aussie boy. Them Aussie boys totally know their surf.
Barbie and Ken are breaking up, but Barbie is no fool. She's already got her safety raft guy lined up, and his name is Blaine the Australian boogie boarder.
I think Barbie is going through a major mid life crisis, and dumping Ken who was always a little too swish. There were all those rumours that Ken was too narcissistic anyway, and playing both sides of the field. Who needs that? So Barbie got smart and rediscovered her surfer girl roots, and turned into "Cali Girl Barbie". And what better for a surfer girl than an Aussie boy. Them Aussie boys totally know their surf.
So I have my first job interview next Tuesday. Oh my god, I am so nervous. I haven't had a job interview in four years, not since year 2000 and I am so out of practice.
I'm not sure if this job is quite the right fit for me, but at least they called me. The job sounds interesting, and I'm trying to view this interview as an opportunity to practice my interviewing skills.
One of the jobs I ended up in, I went into the interview thinking I didn't really want the job but that it would be good interview practice. The person I interviewed with at the end said I could have the job that night and I could name my price. Never had that happen before. I really enjoyed that job too for awhile, and when I left I was genuinely sorry to be leaving. Those were the good old days back in 1998.
I wrote out what I wanted in a new job a few days ago, but I'm going to review and rewrite my list again just to make sure. The job is in downtown San Francisco, and I was wishing I could work downtown again. It's a good sign isn't it?
I'm not sure if this job is quite the right fit for me, but at least they called me. The job sounds interesting, and I'm trying to view this interview as an opportunity to practice my interviewing skills.
One of the jobs I ended up in, I went into the interview thinking I didn't really want the job but that it would be good interview practice. The person I interviewed with at the end said I could have the job that night and I could name my price. Never had that happen before. I really enjoyed that job too for awhile, and when I left I was genuinely sorry to be leaving. Those were the good old days back in 1998.
I wrote out what I wanted in a new job a few days ago, but I'm going to review and rewrite my list again just to make sure. The job is in downtown San Francisco, and I was wishing I could work downtown again. It's a good sign isn't it?
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
One of the girls on American Idol was quoted as saying she would love to marry Simon Cowell, and I think she was kind of embarrassed. I would so marry Simon Cowell is a serious second. He is so hot!
I've been sucked into watching "The Apprentice" with Donald Trump. So many people I know watch that show that I have to see it just to be able to understand what my friends are all buzzing about.
The comments about the contestants are pretty brutal, but pobably true. One of the guys said today that the girl who was being booted off was "probably an employee not a leader".
I was having this discussion with a friend of mine today. I really like being an employee, but most places I've worked at want me to be a "leader". It always creates problems, and it's happening in my present job. I know my bosses just don't understand me not wanting to climb the corporate ladder. I had a boss a few years ago warn me that I would run into problems with other jobs because I didn't want to go into management. I hate to admit it, but the guy was right.
At my last job I told my boss that I didn't really see myself as the management type, and she said she was fine with that. But by the end of my time there, I was managing a business analyst. It kind of made me mad but I had no choice but to accept it.
I want to be a full time writer, but until then I have to have a job. And I don't want to have a job that will eat up all my energy and my time. I need to have something left at the end of the day to pursue my writing ambition.
I guess if I wrote in the morning, this might not be such a problem because I'd give my energy to my writing ambition first and not to the way I need to earn money. But I am so not a morning person. I've tried writing in the morning, and it just doesn't work.
I think this is why most writers do write in the morning because that's when their energy is fresh and new. If you leave it to after work and at night, by that time you might be too drained to be creative. I've been in enough night classes to have heard people complain about being too tired to think.
There's got to be a way I can do both, to have an interesting job that challenges me and earns me enough money so I can continue my lifestyle but is not so stressed and tiring that I can't write at night when I get home.
Maybe I'll try writing in the morning again. If I can train myself to go to bed at a decent time, I'll be able to wake up an hour earlier. I can crank out four handwritten pages in about 40 or so minutes, so it's not like not like I need that much time to get my writing done.
I'm not one of those people who can crank out 2 hours of writing every day, week in and week out. Forty minutes to an hour of solid writing is about my creative limit.
Maybe if I turn myself into a morning writer, it won't matter what kind of job I have or how stressfull and tiring I am at the end of the day. I'll have to think about doing this. I've been such a night owl all my life.
I've been sucked into watching "The Apprentice" with Donald Trump. So many people I know watch that show that I have to see it just to be able to understand what my friends are all buzzing about.
The comments about the contestants are pretty brutal, but pobably true. One of the guys said today that the girl who was being booted off was "probably an employee not a leader".
I was having this discussion with a friend of mine today. I really like being an employee, but most places I've worked at want me to be a "leader". It always creates problems, and it's happening in my present job. I know my bosses just don't understand me not wanting to climb the corporate ladder. I had a boss a few years ago warn me that I would run into problems with other jobs because I didn't want to go into management. I hate to admit it, but the guy was right.
At my last job I told my boss that I didn't really see myself as the management type, and she said she was fine with that. But by the end of my time there, I was managing a business analyst. It kind of made me mad but I had no choice but to accept it.
I want to be a full time writer, but until then I have to have a job. And I don't want to have a job that will eat up all my energy and my time. I need to have something left at the end of the day to pursue my writing ambition.
I guess if I wrote in the morning, this might not be such a problem because I'd give my energy to my writing ambition first and not to the way I need to earn money. But I am so not a morning person. I've tried writing in the morning, and it just doesn't work.
I think this is why most writers do write in the morning because that's when their energy is fresh and new. If you leave it to after work and at night, by that time you might be too drained to be creative. I've been in enough night classes to have heard people complain about being too tired to think.
There's got to be a way I can do both, to have an interesting job that challenges me and earns me enough money so I can continue my lifestyle but is not so stressed and tiring that I can't write at night when I get home.
Maybe I'll try writing in the morning again. If I can train myself to go to bed at a decent time, I'll be able to wake up an hour earlier. I can crank out four handwritten pages in about 40 or so minutes, so it's not like not like I need that much time to get my writing done.
I'm not one of those people who can crank out 2 hours of writing every day, week in and week out. Forty minutes to an hour of solid writing is about my creative limit.
Maybe if I turn myself into a morning writer, it won't matter what kind of job I have or how stressfull and tiring I am at the end of the day. I'll have to think about doing this. I've been such a night owl all my life.
I've been journaling a ton on the tumultous events happening in my work life, and I think I've managed to calm myself down and to view what's happening a little more rationally. It took six days, but at least I'm not on edge anymore. I've also been praying and meditating a lot, and I'm sure it all helps.
One way I know I'm feeling better is I was able to write tonight. Yeah me! I started chapter 10 of my novel, and I wrote for thirty or so minutes and hand wrote 2.5 pages. I'm writing this chapter in from the male character's point of view, so the writing is going a little slower but hey, at least it's going.
Instead of trying to imagine what it's like to think like a guy, a feat that would be pretty impossible for me I think, I try to instead imagine the male character telling me his side of the story. And since my male character is based on someone I actually knew, I just imagine this particular guy telling me the story. It's weird, but it's working so far.
One way I know I'm feeling better is I was able to write tonight. Yeah me! I started chapter 10 of my novel, and I wrote for thirty or so minutes and hand wrote 2.5 pages. I'm writing this chapter in from the male character's point of view, so the writing is going a little slower but hey, at least it's going.
Instead of trying to imagine what it's like to think like a guy, a feat that would be pretty impossible for me I think, I try to instead imagine the male character telling me his side of the story. And since my male character is based on someone I actually knew, I just imagine this particular guy telling me the story. It's weird, but it's working so far.
I had my first weigh in today with the new diet from ediets.com and I lost five pounds. YEAH!!! I'm back in the 150's. Ediets has all these charts and if I keep going and the weight keeps coming off by two pounds a week, I'll be 127 pounds by June 2. That's really small. I haven't weighed that little since college when I used to wear a size 4-6.
Whatever. I'm just glad the weight is coming off, and I don't feel that starving yet. Besides, my pants are fitting looser and that's always a good thing. I miss my size 8 jeans.
Whatever. I'm just glad the weight is coming off, and I don't feel that starving yet. Besides, my pants are fitting looser and that's always a good thing. I miss my size 8 jeans.
I was watching the movie, Hardball starring Keanu Reeves about a gambler forced to coach an inner city cabrini project chicago little league baseball team.
The movie was a little long, and a little predictable but it was so heart wrenching nonetheless. It made me feel spoiled because those kids lead such violent horrific lives. My family didn't have that much money growing up, but at least I grew up in a house with a big yard where my mother raised orchids. There was no city violence to worry about, no gangs, no guns and drive-by shootings.
That movie made me think about my "charmed life", and how I think I am now what I hated as a teen - "middle class". We weren't really poor, we weren't really rich, we were in the middle. By the time I came along I was the only kid in the house, and the family wasn't so financially strapped.
I grew up thinking there would always be money somehow and compared to those kids, I've become cavalier in my attitudes toward money. I just spent $83 to get my hair cut. I only get my hair trimmed three or four times a year, but still $83 is a lot for a shampoo, trim, style, and blowdry.
I remember when I used to go to Supercuts and beauty schools to get hair trimmed, and now I pay top dollar. I don't pay it without blinking an eye because I'm way too Jack Benny for that, but I still pay it.
I heard Suze Orman say on her television show that it's foolish to take spending money for granted because every little expense adds up. She's right. A couple of months ago I bought myself some new eating utensils. I could have bought cheaper ones, but nooooo, I had to have the ones with the pineapple tipped handles that were originally $200 for four place settings but which I bought on sale for $100.
I could have bought cheaper silverware, because in the long run does it really matter what your silverware is like. But nooooo, I had to have pineapple tipped ones because I want to have the tropics inspired things in my apartment.
Like what is is up with me wanting "tropic inspired" crap? Where did that come from? Or the time I wanted to decorate my kitchen in french country, and the time I wanted to decorate my bathroom so it had a caribbean/ocean flavour, and that other time I wanted to decorate my living room so it felt like I was living in a country cottage. Not to mention that I have obsession for owning brittish made dinnerware, and not just any old brit brand but Spode only.
Like where did I pick up all this silly decorator nonsense from? I'm like totally spoiled, living and acting spoiled, and there are kids living in the squalor of inner city housing projects. I'm experiecing a case of "middle class wealth guilt", and it's horrible!
The movie was a little long, and a little predictable but it was so heart wrenching nonetheless. It made me feel spoiled because those kids lead such violent horrific lives. My family didn't have that much money growing up, but at least I grew up in a house with a big yard where my mother raised orchids. There was no city violence to worry about, no gangs, no guns and drive-by shootings.
That movie made me think about my "charmed life", and how I think I am now what I hated as a teen - "middle class". We weren't really poor, we weren't really rich, we were in the middle. By the time I came along I was the only kid in the house, and the family wasn't so financially strapped.
I grew up thinking there would always be money somehow and compared to those kids, I've become cavalier in my attitudes toward money. I just spent $83 to get my hair cut. I only get my hair trimmed three or four times a year, but still $83 is a lot for a shampoo, trim, style, and blowdry.
I remember when I used to go to Supercuts and beauty schools to get hair trimmed, and now I pay top dollar. I don't pay it without blinking an eye because I'm way too Jack Benny for that, but I still pay it.
I heard Suze Orman say on her television show that it's foolish to take spending money for granted because every little expense adds up. She's right. A couple of months ago I bought myself some new eating utensils. I could have bought cheaper ones, but nooooo, I had to have the ones with the pineapple tipped handles that were originally $200 for four place settings but which I bought on sale for $100.
I could have bought cheaper silverware, because in the long run does it really matter what your silverware is like. But nooooo, I had to have pineapple tipped ones because I want to have the tropics inspired things in my apartment.
Like what is is up with me wanting "tropic inspired" crap? Where did that come from? Or the time I wanted to decorate my kitchen in french country, and the time I wanted to decorate my bathroom so it had a caribbean/ocean flavour, and that other time I wanted to decorate my living room so it felt like I was living in a country cottage. Not to mention that I have obsession for owning brittish made dinnerware, and not just any old brit brand but Spode only.
Like where did I pick up all this silly decorator nonsense from? I'm like totally spoiled, living and acting spoiled, and there are kids living in the squalor of inner city housing projects. I'm experiecing a case of "middle class wealth guilt", and it's horrible!
Tuesday, February 10, 2004
Just when I feeling really good about my life, something happens to destroy that feeling. It's always that way isn't it? It's not that my life has gone completely to hell in a hand basket, but I get totally freaked out when I don't feel secure about my job.
And right now I'm stressed about my job, and I've been waking up at 5 am sometimes 4 in the morning, worrying about what will happen to me. I haven't felt that way in a long time.
Even when my company was moving location last year and the possibility of being unemployed was real, I wasn't as freaked out as I am now. Last year in my old apartment, I could have handled being unemployed. It would have been hard, but I could have survived on unemployment and savings for a long time.
With the new apartment, surviving on unemployment and saving is still possibilty but not for very long. The new scenario scares me, and makes me wonder if I should have listened to my friend when she said not to move until I knew for sure that working from home was going to work to work out mutually for me and company.
I've gotten used to working from home but with my new boss who is a control freak, my remoteness is irksome to him, very irksome.
He doesn't know me, he's relatively new to the company and he's trying to prove that he deserved his VP promotion. And I get to be the sacrificial goat for his trial by fire. It's not a pleasant feeling. He's toned down his initial "lordiness", but it's still there. And I don't think he's going to forgive me for complaining to my old boss who is also his boss, about him pressuring me to move. In fact, he's already started to torture me in little ways.
And it's not like I haven't faced this situation before because I have, and when it happened I was able to find another job fairly quickly, so quickly that the new boss was so shocked that I resigned.
But I have fears. The economy is bad right now out here. There are a ton of jobs in my field right now and for my particular skill set, but it's a employer's market out there and I'm competing with bunches and bunches of people who are looking for jobs. Employers can pick and choose.
I mean, I have good feelings about my job prospects. I've never had problems finding employment before, but I don't I've ever had to look for a job in this tight of an economy.
I've dug out all my positive thinking books, and am reading them nightly. Those books helped me get through all my other job crises, and their principles do work. Let's just hope they'll work even now.
And right now I'm stressed about my job, and I've been waking up at 5 am sometimes 4 in the morning, worrying about what will happen to me. I haven't felt that way in a long time.
Even when my company was moving location last year and the possibility of being unemployed was real, I wasn't as freaked out as I am now. Last year in my old apartment, I could have handled being unemployed. It would have been hard, but I could have survived on unemployment and savings for a long time.
With the new apartment, surviving on unemployment and saving is still possibilty but not for very long. The new scenario scares me, and makes me wonder if I should have listened to my friend when she said not to move until I knew for sure that working from home was going to work to work out mutually for me and company.
I've gotten used to working from home but with my new boss who is a control freak, my remoteness is irksome to him, very irksome.
He doesn't know me, he's relatively new to the company and he's trying to prove that he deserved his VP promotion. And I get to be the sacrificial goat for his trial by fire. It's not a pleasant feeling. He's toned down his initial "lordiness", but it's still there. And I don't think he's going to forgive me for complaining to my old boss who is also his boss, about him pressuring me to move. In fact, he's already started to torture me in little ways.
And it's not like I haven't faced this situation before because I have, and when it happened I was able to find another job fairly quickly, so quickly that the new boss was so shocked that I resigned.
But I have fears. The economy is bad right now out here. There are a ton of jobs in my field right now and for my particular skill set, but it's a employer's market out there and I'm competing with bunches and bunches of people who are looking for jobs. Employers can pick and choose.
I mean, I have good feelings about my job prospects. I've never had problems finding employment before, but I don't I've ever had to look for a job in this tight of an economy.
I've dug out all my positive thinking books, and am reading them nightly. Those books helped me get through all my other job crises, and their principles do work. Let's just hope they'll work even now.
Monday, February 09, 2004
Here's my latest film hearthrob, Damian Lewis. He's the actor who plays "Soames" on The Forsythe Saga 2.
Not quite sure if he's a femme brit boy or why I find him so maddeningly attractive, other than the fact that he looks so much like "one that got away". I can hear dogs barking, and I always associate barking dogs with "the one that got away" because he used to tell me "he was the dog and I was the cat".
He was referring to the fact that I was a cat person, and he was a dog person. I tried to tell him I liked dogs as well, but as a person I related to cats more. He said as a person he was more of dog, and besides he detested cats.
It's that red hair ... it's like catnip to me ... very, very bad but I must have it.
Not quite sure if he's a femme brit boy or why I find him so maddeningly attractive, other than the fact that he looks so much like "one that got away". I can hear dogs barking, and I always associate barking dogs with "the one that got away" because he used to tell me "he was the dog and I was the cat".
He was referring to the fact that I was a cat person, and he was a dog person. I tried to tell him I liked dogs as well, but as a person I related to cats more. He said as a person he was more of dog, and besides he detested cats.
It's that red hair ... it's like catnip to me ... very, very bad but I must have it.
I think my new boss figured out that I wasn't happy with the new move. He called me today and said he wanted me to come spend a week at the Sacramento office, when he would be in town in March. Like big whoop getting to go to Sacramento for a business trip for a week.
I told him I had classes on Monday and Thursday night, and he didn't even moan and groan like I thought he would. He said fine, and that I should plan on being there from Tuesday thru Thursday but that I could leave early on Thursday to get to my class.
I'm like I hate this. I'll probably be staying at the same hotel he stays at, and he'll want to do the business socializing thing. It's only for two nights which means one of those nights or at least lunch times will be a group eating event.
I think he said he would be there Monday, which means he'll have his own car and I don't have to chauffer him around. That would be the worst!
The guy is a total control freak, and he hates that I work at home where no one can keep an eye on me and report on me when I'm slacking off. Whatever!
I've been checking it out, and the job market for my field isn't as bad as I thought it would be given the sorry state of the economy. In fact, I haven't seen this many ads for jobs in my particular line of work ever. That's got to be a fortuitous sign yes? It might take awhile, but one of these days I'll be moving on.
I told him I had classes on Monday and Thursday night, and he didn't even moan and groan like I thought he would. He said fine, and that I should plan on being there from Tuesday thru Thursday but that I could leave early on Thursday to get to my class.
I'm like I hate this. I'll probably be staying at the same hotel he stays at, and he'll want to do the business socializing thing. It's only for two nights which means one of those nights or at least lunch times will be a group eating event.
I think he said he would be there Monday, which means he'll have his own car and I don't have to chauffer him around. That would be the worst!
The guy is a total control freak, and he hates that I work at home where no one can keep an eye on me and report on me when I'm slacking off. Whatever!
I've been checking it out, and the job market for my field isn't as bad as I thought it would be given the sorry state of the economy. In fact, I haven't seen this many ads for jobs in my particular line of work ever. That's got to be a fortuitous sign yes? It might take awhile, but one of these days I'll be moving on.
So I went to the phone store to upgrade my cell phone, and I ended up nging to a cheaper plan with less coverage. I stopped travelling for work, and I started to think I was paying for coverage that I never really used.
I have the cheaper plan, so if I want to upgrade I won't get penalized. I did sign a two year contract, but I never switched phone contracts in four years so I'm not too worried.
Of course, now I'm just worried about getting hit by roaming charges. I used to get those all the time before I switched plans, and roaming charges can really, really add up. I have a national plan, but it only covers major cities.
Damn! I shouldn't have switched plans, but I've been thinking for a long time that I'm paying way too much for expensive coverage that I'm not using.
Oh well. The rumor is my carrier is up for sale, and it looks like it will happen. I'll probably get better coverage once that happens.
So here's the new phone, Nokia 3100. I have a Nokia 6162 before, and that phone lasted me about four years.
I have the cheaper plan, so if I want to upgrade I won't get penalized. I did sign a two year contract, but I never switched phone contracts in four years so I'm not too worried.
Of course, now I'm just worried about getting hit by roaming charges. I used to get those all the time before I switched plans, and roaming charges can really, really add up. I have a national plan, but it only covers major cities.
Damn! I shouldn't have switched plans, but I've been thinking for a long time that I'm paying way too much for expensive coverage that I'm not using.
Oh well. The rumor is my carrier is up for sale, and it looks like it will happen. I'll probably get better coverage once that happens.
So here's the new phone, Nokia 3100. I have a Nokia 6162 before, and that phone lasted me about four years.
So I watched the Grammy's because his purpleness, Prince was going to be on. I'm so bummed that I still haven't seen him in concert. He is so cool, so beautiful and he can play his instrument really well too. Prince or maye it's the artist formerly known as Prince is the Bomb.
Thought the Beatle tribute band of Vince Gill, Dave Matthews, Sting, and that other person was a joke. They were the incarnation of a really, really bad lounge act.
Thought it was funny when the sound got all messed for Alicia Keys and Celine Dio. What was up with that?
Loved The Foo Fighters and Chick Corea playing together. Thought it was the best musical performance of the night, but I also really love that song.
Don't get why Justin Timberlake gets awards at all, but maybe it's because he's a white boy who does soul really well, I guess.
Missed the Outkcast performance because I started switching channels due to sheer boredom and got caught up watching "The Forsythe Saga 2" on PBS. I love the "Soames" character!
He looks like the ex that got away, with all that reddish brown hair. He kind of acted like him too, so I couldn't take my eyes off of him. They have the same reddish brown hair and hazel green/brown eyes. I'm having the ex that got away hauntings, and I hate it but I'm compelled by some unknown force to watch his lookalikes on TV whenever they appear.
Thought the Beatle tribute band of Vince Gill, Dave Matthews, Sting, and that other person was a joke. They were the incarnation of a really, really bad lounge act.
Thought it was funny when the sound got all messed for Alicia Keys and Celine Dio. What was up with that?
Loved The Foo Fighters and Chick Corea playing together. Thought it was the best musical performance of the night, but I also really love that song.
Don't get why Justin Timberlake gets awards at all, but maybe it's because he's a white boy who does soul really well, I guess.
Missed the Outkcast performance because I started switching channels due to sheer boredom and got caught up watching "The Forsythe Saga 2" on PBS. I love the "Soames" character!
He looks like the ex that got away, with all that reddish brown hair. He kind of acted like him too, so I couldn't take my eyes off of him. They have the same reddish brown hair and hazel green/brown eyes. I'm having the ex that got away hauntings, and I hate it but I'm compelled by some unknown force to watch his lookalikes on TV whenever they appear.
Sunday, February 08, 2004
I went to the sister church again this morning, and they were celebrating Boy Scout Sunday. I can't imagine this happening at my home church. The Boy Scouts would be way too politically incorrect. The sister church has had a relationship with a boy scout troup for 89 years and they're proud of it, as they should be.
The minister brought up the Janet Jackson superbowl halftime incident, and prefaced his statement by saying he knew the congregation wished he wasn't going to do it. People laughed.
He had a good sermon today, which was an answer to people who say "nature is their church". I was up in Tahoe with a boyfriend once, and he said as much to me.
He gave examples of situations where you have have to decide what to do and he said, "a tree can't help you decide what to do." That's where Janet Jackson came in. He said "a tree can't help you decide what to think about Janet Jackson's exposure if you felt outraged by it" or something like that.
The one thing the sister church isn't doing is preaching on the revised common lectionary like my home church. I thought the lectionary for 2004 was all about Luke.
The minister brought up the Janet Jackson superbowl halftime incident, and prefaced his statement by saying he knew the congregation wished he wasn't going to do it. People laughed.
He had a good sermon today, which was an answer to people who say "nature is their church". I was up in Tahoe with a boyfriend once, and he said as much to me.
He gave examples of situations where you have have to decide what to do and he said, "a tree can't help you decide what to do." That's where Janet Jackson came in. He said "a tree can't help you decide what to think about Janet Jackson's exposure if you felt outraged by it" or something like that.
The one thing the sister church isn't doing is preaching on the revised common lectionary like my home church. I thought the lectionary for 2004 was all about Luke.
Saturday, February 07, 2004
So the new diet from ediets.com, which I started late Wednesday seems to be working. I stepped on the scale this morning and lost 3.5 pounds. It's probably just water weight, but what a great psychological boost.
The diet doesn't have a lot of options which works for right now, but I can see myself wanting more food options. I may break down and try weight watchers once I get bored with the ediets thing.
A friend bought Dr. Phil's book on eating, and thinks I need to read it. She is actually doing all the exercises and issues are coming up for her which is a good thing.
What I like about this new diet is that if I follow their meals plans, I feel stuffed when I eat. I like the feeling of feeling very full after eating. Something about that makes me feel good, like I've been really good to myself and stuffed my fat face with food.
What I don't like is that in between meals I'm really, really hungry. This is how I know I'm really cutting back on my calories. Which is a trip because when I eat a meal I feel good and it doesn't feel like dieting, but then two to three hours later I'm reminded that I am dieting.
And why do I have to feel like I've stuffed my face with food to feel good. What's up with that?
The diet doesn't have a lot of options which works for right now, but I can see myself wanting more food options. I may break down and try weight watchers once I get bored with the ediets thing.
A friend bought Dr. Phil's book on eating, and thinks I need to read it. She is actually doing all the exercises and issues are coming up for her which is a good thing.
What I like about this new diet is that if I follow their meals plans, I feel stuffed when I eat. I like the feeling of feeling very full after eating. Something about that makes me feel good, like I've been really good to myself and stuffed my fat face with food.
What I don't like is that in between meals I'm really, really hungry. This is how I know I'm really cutting back on my calories. Which is a trip because when I eat a meal I feel good and it doesn't feel like dieting, but then two to three hours later I'm reminded that I am dieting.
And why do I have to feel like I've stuffed my face with food to feel good. What's up with that?
Friday, February 06, 2004
Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile. The job has been so stressful. I have a new boss, and now more responsibilities and I don't think I'm getting along with the new boss.
Nobody likes him. Everyone think he's not the brightest bulb on the tree, but he was promoted to VP so what do I know. He's a good talker, and a good sales guy and that counts for something I guess. Plus that Harvard MBA doesn't hurt either.
I hate job stress. Job stress makes you gain weight, and I know all my job stress these last four years have totally made me fat!
I don't see it getting any better either, so I'm going to have make some plans.
Nobody likes him. Everyone think he's not the brightest bulb on the tree, but he was promoted to VP so what do I know. He's a good talker, and a good sales guy and that counts for something I guess. Plus that Harvard MBA doesn't hurt either.
I hate job stress. Job stress makes you gain weight, and I know all my job stress these last four years have totally made me fat!
I don't see it getting any better either, so I'm going to have make some plans.
Wednesday, February 04, 2004
So I finally finished Chapter 9 of my novel and I'm reading it and thinking, "Yes indeed I am writing a love story." Check out the chapter ending.
"I looked at him straight in my eyes, fully surrendering in my mind my whole being to him. Raker leaned over and brushed his lips lightly against mine, acknowledging his victory and secretly smiling about the victory celebration that we both knew would happen later that night."
Sick isn't it? Sickey love story chapter ending.
Three more chapters to go. Chapter 10 is from the guy's POV, and that's the chapter they get it on and have some major WMS.
This novel is taking way too long to write. It's going to be around 200 typed pages I think. That's a lot of writing for me.
"I looked at him straight in my eyes, fully surrendering in my mind my whole being to him. Raker leaned over and brushed his lips lightly against mine, acknowledging his victory and secretly smiling about the victory celebration that we both knew would happen later that night."
Sick isn't it? Sickey love story chapter ending.
Three more chapters to go. Chapter 10 is from the guy's POV, and that's the chapter they get it on and have some major WMS.
This novel is taking way too long to write. It's going to be around 200 typed pages I think. That's a lot of writing for me.
The December election doesn't seem that far away, but I've already received my democrat primary absentee ballot for the primary in March.
What a joy ... I get to vote for the democratic party nominee for the office of the President.
I think I'll wait until election day in March to vote, and just walk the ballot over to the local polling place.
I liked Wesley Clark, but he's a fading fast. I think the best ticket will be Kerry/Edwards, but Edwards says he won't take th VP spot. The rumors are flying now that perhaps General Wesley Clark entered the race to get the VP spot.
Kerry/Clark? Hmmmmmm ...
What a joy ... I get to vote for the democratic party nominee for the office of the President.
I think I'll wait until election day in March to vote, and just walk the ballot over to the local polling place.
I liked Wesley Clark, but he's a fading fast. I think the best ticket will be Kerry/Edwards, but Edwards says he won't take th VP spot. The rumors are flying now that perhaps General Wesley Clark entered the race to get the VP spot.
Kerry/Clark? Hmmmmmm ...
This is a great read on why San Francisco has the housing problems and the homeless population it does, A Tale Worth Retelling: When an elderly man left the city millions to build apartments for homeless old folks, neighbors tried to block the project. Fortunately, they failed.
The weight loss has been going way too slowly, so I got desperate and joined ediets.com. It's only $5 a week, although I had to pay for three months up front.
It's tailored so you can pick all kinds of weight plans, from Atkins to The Zone to Dr. Phil. They make it really easy if you're a convenience food eater, because there's a whole list of frozen foods you can eat. There's also a fast food option if you want that.
I've already found out I can eat two slices of Pizza Hut (there's one in the hood) Thin and Crispy pepperoni pizza and still follow their plan. I miss eating pizza!
I think my problem is I've been cheating way too much, and I've been in a diet rut. The ediets.com recommendation for me is to consume 1,200 - 1,300 calories a day if I'm a light exerciser. Exercising more will increase the calorie intake for the day.
I can cancel any time I want, so if I can't follow it I'll quit. I do like that you can substitute freely, and it has recipes if I feel like cooking.
It's tailored so you can pick all kinds of weight plans, from Atkins to The Zone to Dr. Phil. They make it really easy if you're a convenience food eater, because there's a whole list of frozen foods you can eat. There's also a fast food option if you want that.
I've already found out I can eat two slices of Pizza Hut (there's one in the hood) Thin and Crispy pepperoni pizza and still follow their plan. I miss eating pizza!
I think my problem is I've been cheating way too much, and I've been in a diet rut. The ediets.com recommendation for me is to consume 1,200 - 1,300 calories a day if I'm a light exerciser. Exercising more will increase the calorie intake for the day.
I can cancel any time I want, so if I can't follow it I'll quit. I do like that you can substitute freely, and it has recipes if I feel like cooking.
Some political blogs that I've been reading lately remind me intensely why I dislike most indie films. They're too smug, too self congratulatory, too insider, and talk about self masturbation and self indulgence.
Some people like to read, or as in the case of films, see this kind of stuff. Thankfully, most people still like to read commentary and see films that are not only entertaining but actually have something very interesting, something of substance to say.
Some people like to read, or as in the case of films, see this kind of stuff. Thankfully, most people still like to read commentary and see films that are not only entertaining but actually have something very interesting, something of substance to say.
Tuesday, February 03, 2004
I took the car in for its 30K well baby care exam and just like a real child, car care is not cheap.
My huge tax refund is slowly being eaten up by unexpected bills. I guess it was too good to be true that I could get away with not having to fork over "real time cash" for my new entertainment devices.
I just want to stay on schedule for opening up my new cash maximizer savings account. I need another savings account that earns more interest! I'm becoming a big believer in the saying that "hordes of cash in the bank is a very good thing".
My huge tax refund is slowly being eaten up by unexpected bills. I guess it was too good to be true that I could get away with not having to fork over "real time cash" for my new entertainment devices.
I just want to stay on schedule for opening up my new cash maximizer savings account. I need another savings account that earns more interest! I'm becoming a big believer in the saying that "hordes of cash in the bank is a very good thing".
I've read a ton of blogs and news articles saying there is populist movement going on in the democratic party. Much of it driven, I think, by those people who are against the war in Iraq.
John Edwards' stump speech is about the "two americas". John Kerry spouts about those "special interests", and Howard Dean preaches his "Take Back the Power" drivel.
And I'm like I sort of relate and I can't relate. Most of it has to do with the fact that I agreed with Thomas Friedman and Christopher Hitchens in supporting the US led war with Iraq.
Howard Dean's "Take Back the Power" speeches don't mean a thing to me, because I don't feel like I've lost my power as a voter. Dean's rhetoric annoys me a little because the assumption is you as a voter either willingly or unwillingly gave your power away in the first place.
I vote. I've voted in practically every federal, state and local election since I was 18 years old. I read. I wasn't blindsided by the republican take over of the government. People have been writing about it, and trying to sound the alarm bell for years.
I think Dean appeals to people who didn't care enough to vote, or were so cynical they didn't want to or gave away their vote because they didn't think in the long it mattered. They gave away their power by not voting, by not staying informed, and by thinking their vote wasn't worth anything and threw it away when it really mattered. And now they're mad and upset, and I'm supposed to care.
Kerry's speeches are about "special interests" make a little bit more sense, but I'm a cynic and if it's not business' special interests it's somebody else's and everybody wants things their way without compromise. Decisions from either side are never about what would be good for the whole country, but what would be good for my group.
John Edwards' "two americas" speeches make the most sense. It's the closest to class warfare, and I totally despise the notion of "class warfare", but there are definitely people out there who a have a ton and people out there who don't have much at all, with the middle still trying to figure which side they belong on.
I feel like I'm in the middle in every thing. I was for the war, but think the handling of everything from the reasons to the war itself, and to the post war activities were very badly handled by the Bush administration.
I'm cynical about "special interests" because either extreme only seems to care about their own groups, and to hell with everybody else.
And I can't decide if I'm really poor and have no hope and am too stupid to know it, or if there's still a chance for me to get the things I want in life. Because in my reality, in my little world, I have achieved many of the things I've wanted in life so far. And I like to stay positive which means I'm going to think I'll keep achieving my goals.
Sure I've had disappointments in my life, who hasn't? But I've had many more successes than disappointments so far, and I don't expect that to stop.
Maybe I'm just fooling myself, or maybe I'm a victim of what is popularly called "lowered expectations", I don't know. I'm still a happy camper, I like being a happy camper, and I see no reason to change my outlook.
John Edwards' stump speech is about the "two americas". John Kerry spouts about those "special interests", and Howard Dean preaches his "Take Back the Power" drivel.
And I'm like I sort of relate and I can't relate. Most of it has to do with the fact that I agreed with Thomas Friedman and Christopher Hitchens in supporting the US led war with Iraq.
Howard Dean's "Take Back the Power" speeches don't mean a thing to me, because I don't feel like I've lost my power as a voter. Dean's rhetoric annoys me a little because the assumption is you as a voter either willingly or unwillingly gave your power away in the first place.
I vote. I've voted in practically every federal, state and local election since I was 18 years old. I read. I wasn't blindsided by the republican take over of the government. People have been writing about it, and trying to sound the alarm bell for years.
I think Dean appeals to people who didn't care enough to vote, or were so cynical they didn't want to or gave away their vote because they didn't think in the long it mattered. They gave away their power by not voting, by not staying informed, and by thinking their vote wasn't worth anything and threw it away when it really mattered. And now they're mad and upset, and I'm supposed to care.
Kerry's speeches are about "special interests" make a little bit more sense, but I'm a cynic and if it's not business' special interests it's somebody else's and everybody wants things their way without compromise. Decisions from either side are never about what would be good for the whole country, but what would be good for my group.
John Edwards' "two americas" speeches make the most sense. It's the closest to class warfare, and I totally despise the notion of "class warfare", but there are definitely people out there who a have a ton and people out there who don't have much at all, with the middle still trying to figure which side they belong on.
I feel like I'm in the middle in every thing. I was for the war, but think the handling of everything from the reasons to the war itself, and to the post war activities were very badly handled by the Bush administration.
I'm cynical about "special interests" because either extreme only seems to care about their own groups, and to hell with everybody else.
And I can't decide if I'm really poor and have no hope and am too stupid to know it, or if there's still a chance for me to get the things I want in life. Because in my reality, in my little world, I have achieved many of the things I've wanted in life so far. And I like to stay positive which means I'm going to think I'll keep achieving my goals.
Sure I've had disappointments in my life, who hasn't? But I've had many more successes than disappointments so far, and I don't expect that to stop.
Maybe I'm just fooling myself, or maybe I'm a victim of what is popularly called "lowered expectations", I don't know. I'm still a happy camper, I like being a happy camper, and I see no reason to change my outlook.
Monday, February 02, 2004
I got behind in my reading as usual, but I managed to read three books in January.
"Golf in the Kingdom" by Michael Murphy
"Mystic River" by Dennis Lehane
"James and the Giant Peach" by Roald Dahl (picked this book up at a garage sale and it looked like a fun short read, besides loved the movie version!)
For February my reading list books are:
"A Thousand Acres" by Jane Smiley
"Midnight's Children" by Salman Rushdie
"Silas Mariner" by George Eliot
And if I'm lucky I'll get through Poet and Peasant through Peasant Eyes: A Literary-Cultural Approach to the Parables of Luke by Kenneth E. Bailey. The writing is very dry and it's hard to get through.
"Kenneth Bailey draws on more than twenty years of experience with Middle Eastern peasant culture in his study of the literary structure and cultural milieu of sixteen of Jesus' most significant parables as they are recorded in Luke. "
"Golf in the Kingdom" by Michael Murphy
"Mystic River" by Dennis Lehane
"James and the Giant Peach" by Roald Dahl (picked this book up at a garage sale and it looked like a fun short read, besides loved the movie version!)
For February my reading list books are:
"A Thousand Acres" by Jane Smiley
"Midnight's Children" by Salman Rushdie
"Silas Mariner" by George Eliot
And if I'm lucky I'll get through Poet and Peasant through Peasant Eyes: A Literary-Cultural Approach to the Parables of Luke by Kenneth E. Bailey. The writing is very dry and it's hard to get through.
"Kenneth Bailey draws on more than twenty years of experience with Middle Eastern peasant culture in his study of the literary structure and cultural milieu of sixteen of Jesus' most significant parables as they are recorded in Luke. "
I think the conservative movement became so popular because it appeals to people's common sense. I made myself listen to Rush Limbaugh, and I mean really listen. I wanted to find out why this guy is so popular.
Rush appeals most of the time to common sense. I found myself listening, and if I wasn't really thinking too much about what he was really saying and taking his ideas to their logical conclusion, and agreeing with him.
He appeals to your common sense, if you don't think too deeply about what he's saying. He's funny, he's witty, he has funny nicknames for people, he's entertaining, and most of all he doesn't make you feel stupid when he talks to you.
Democrats do something different. They don't appeal to common sense, they take the moral high ground. I go to church every Sunday and listen to sermons, and sometimes I have to tell you most democrats sound like they're preaching to me.
And I'm like, wait a minute, if I want to be preached to about doing the right thing I go to my church. That's what a church sermon is about. So when I hear a preachy type speech coming out of a politician's mouth, it kind of annoys me.
I don't know. Maybe they're trying to imitate Martin Luther King Jr, but the guy was not a politician. Dr. King was a baptist preacher. If they wanted to really emulate Dr. King, politicians who preach should become preachers and should stay out of politics.
Plus, taking the moral high ground is dicey. Not to mention, it sounds so fake coming out of the mouth of somebody who is not a preacher, minister or priest.
Maybe I'm biased because I go to church and I get preached to every Sunday, and perhaps they're trying to appeal to people who don't do the church thing. But if the demos appealed to people's common sense more, I think they'd find that they will appeal to more people.
I go to church and all, but most of the time common sense trumps morality every time.
Rush appeals most of the time to common sense. I found myself listening, and if I wasn't really thinking too much about what he was really saying and taking his ideas to their logical conclusion, and agreeing with him.
He appeals to your common sense, if you don't think too deeply about what he's saying. He's funny, he's witty, he has funny nicknames for people, he's entertaining, and most of all he doesn't make you feel stupid when he talks to you.
Democrats do something different. They don't appeal to common sense, they take the moral high ground. I go to church every Sunday and listen to sermons, and sometimes I have to tell you most democrats sound like they're preaching to me.
And I'm like, wait a minute, if I want to be preached to about doing the right thing I go to my church. That's what a church sermon is about. So when I hear a preachy type speech coming out of a politician's mouth, it kind of annoys me.
I don't know. Maybe they're trying to imitate Martin Luther King Jr, but the guy was not a politician. Dr. King was a baptist preacher. If they wanted to really emulate Dr. King, politicians who preach should become preachers and should stay out of politics.
Plus, taking the moral high ground is dicey. Not to mention, it sounds so fake coming out of the mouth of somebody who is not a preacher, minister or priest.
Maybe I'm biased because I go to church and I get preached to every Sunday, and perhaps they're trying to appeal to people who don't do the church thing. But if the demos appealed to people's common sense more, I think they'd find that they will appeal to more people.
I go to church and all, but most of the time common sense trumps morality every time.
Interesting essay from Robert B. Reich in the NY Times on the Democractic party, The Dead Center.
I don't buy into Howard Dean's populist rhetoric, so for me there's no reform movement. Whatever happened to Bill Clinton's democratic rhetoric? I loved his stuff.
I don't buy into Howard Dean's populist rhetoric, so for me there's no reform movement. Whatever happened to Bill Clinton's democratic rhetoric? I loved his stuff.
My college alma mater makes the NY Times for sports, Grinnell's Unusual Style Leads Nation in Scoring.
Sunday, February 01, 2004
Favorite superbowl ads:
Sony - the cute guy getting excited over the TV system
McDonalds - the husband hitting on his wife after he accidentally throws a McDonalds wrapper in dryer. So gross but very funny.
NFL Network - Jerry Jones, Bill Parcells and various NFL players (the losers) singing "The Sun will come up tomorrow" from Annie. Still my favorite spot.
NFL.com - some kind of ad spot about advertising with the NFL and one of the sports announcer saying "Being rich is muy bueno". What was that about?
Nextel - the race car driver scoring a touchdown with his car on the football field.
AOL - the guy going on his motor cycle and saying he came back from the Renaissance. How funny is that and that outfit.
Budweiser - wrong lipstick ad
Bud Light - Cedric bikini wax
Check this site out from IFfilms to replay most of the superbowl 2004 ads.
Sony - the cute guy getting excited over the TV system
McDonalds - the husband hitting on his wife after he accidentally throws a McDonalds wrapper in dryer. So gross but very funny.
NFL Network - Jerry Jones, Bill Parcells and various NFL players (the losers) singing "The Sun will come up tomorrow" from Annie. Still my favorite spot.
NFL.com - some kind of ad spot about advertising with the NFL and one of the sports announcer saying "Being rich is muy bueno". What was that about?
Nextel - the race car driver scoring a touchdown with his car on the football field.
AOL - the guy going on his motor cycle and saying he came back from the Renaissance. How funny is that and that outfit.
Budweiser - wrong lipstick ad
Bud Light - Cedric bikini wax
Check this site out from IFfilms to replay most of the superbowl 2004 ads.
So when Justin Timberlake ripped Janet Jackson's shirt off, and we glimpsed her breast I thought it was deliberate and she wearing a pasty over her nipple.
I had no idea that was I was seeing was the real thing. Oooops!
No wonder Phil Simms and and Brian Gumbel were very disturbed and made all those nasty comments about the half time show.
Honestly, I thought they were trying to compete with the lingere bowl on pay per view.
Check out The Drudge Report for what she was really showing. It's very odd looking.
I had no idea that was I was seeing was the real thing. Oooops!
No wonder Phil Simms and and Brian Gumbel were very disturbed and made all those nasty comments about the half time show.
Honestly, I thought they were trying to compete with the lingere bowl on pay per view.
Check out The Drudge Report for what she was really showing. It's very odd looking.
So the folkloric tale out there is that if the AFC wins the Superbowl, then the markets go down and it's a bad year economically. If the NFC wins, then the economy goes like gangbusters.
My favourite stockmarket futurist said the Dow will go up to 12,000 in 2004, so he predicted that the Carolina Panthers would win the Superbowl. I wonder what he'll say now that they've lost.
The guy has got a heck of a stock market stock hit rate, so I'm hoping the market will go up anyway despite the fact that New England won.
I'm thinking index funds will be worth buying now since the Dow is at 10,000. Once the Dow goes up to 12,000 better to sell and get out, then to take a loss. No way will the Dow be able to sustain 12,000 for very long.
My favourite stockmarket futurist said the Dow will go up to 12,000 in 2004, so he predicted that the Carolina Panthers would win the Superbowl. I wonder what he'll say now that they've lost.
The guy has got a heck of a stock market stock hit rate, so I'm hoping the market will go up anyway despite the fact that New England won.
I'm thinking index funds will be worth buying now since the Dow is at 10,000. Once the Dow goes up to 12,000 better to sell and get out, then to take a loss. No way will the Dow be able to sustain 12,000 for very long.
Saturday, January 31, 2004
My last Dine About Town 2004 experience was at Roy's Restuarant, located on Mission between 1st and 2nd streets. I ate there last night with a friend of mine.
My friend had been there before, and wanted me to try it since it was Hawaiian style fusion food. I had never heard of the place, so I was intrigued.
The restaurant was crowded, and while there were hawaiian sounding dishes on the menu, it wasn't exactly what I would call Hawaiian food. It's more east and west fusion food, with a Hawaiian accent. They did have butterfish on the menu however, which was cool because butterfish is like a staple in Hawaiian eating.
Anyway, the food was excellent and probably a notch below Chez Panise. Considering the prices and the quality of the food, it's a heck of a bargain. Chez Panise has unbelievable food, but it is so not cheap.
Here's the what I had from from the Dine About Town menu:
Appetizer:
Roy’s Hawaiian Fusion Sampler - Shrimp Stick, Szechuan Baby Back Rib & Kalua Pork Lumpia
Dinner:
Charred Garlic Honey Mustard Beef Short Ribs with Hanalei Poi and Lomi Lomi Tomato (I had to see what the poi tasted like. The colour was off, but it was real poi.)
Dessert:
Caramel Macadamia Nut Almond Tart With Our homemade vanilla bean ice cream (what's a hawaiian meal without some macadamia nut?)
My friend says the Szechuan Baby Back Ribs are her favourite. She had the Roy’s Classic Roasted Macadamia Whitefish with a Lobster Butter Sauce for her dinner choice.
They play cheesey loungey Hawaiian music, so it's like you're eating in a hotel in Hawaii. You can't escape cheesey Hawaiian lounge music when you're in Hawaii; it's everywhere.
Still, the food is so good that it warrants a return visit. Supposedly they have their own hawaiian cocktails on the menu, but we didn't try any of those and I'd go back just to see if they can get a cheesey Waikiki mai tai right.
My friend had been there before, and wanted me to try it since it was Hawaiian style fusion food. I had never heard of the place, so I was intrigued.
The restaurant was crowded, and while there were hawaiian sounding dishes on the menu, it wasn't exactly what I would call Hawaiian food. It's more east and west fusion food, with a Hawaiian accent. They did have butterfish on the menu however, which was cool because butterfish is like a staple in Hawaiian eating.
Anyway, the food was excellent and probably a notch below Chez Panise. Considering the prices and the quality of the food, it's a heck of a bargain. Chez Panise has unbelievable food, but it is so not cheap.
Here's the what I had from from the Dine About Town menu:
Appetizer:
Roy’s Hawaiian Fusion Sampler - Shrimp Stick, Szechuan Baby Back Rib & Kalua Pork Lumpia
Dinner:
Charred Garlic Honey Mustard Beef Short Ribs with Hanalei Poi and Lomi Lomi Tomato (I had to see what the poi tasted like. The colour was off, but it was real poi.)
Dessert:
Caramel Macadamia Nut Almond Tart With Our homemade vanilla bean ice cream (what's a hawaiian meal without some macadamia nut?)
My friend says the Szechuan Baby Back Ribs are her favourite. She had the Roy’s Classic Roasted Macadamia Whitefish with a Lobster Butter Sauce for her dinner choice.
They play cheesey loungey Hawaiian music, so it's like you're eating in a hotel in Hawaii. You can't escape cheesey Hawaiian lounge music when you're in Hawaii; it's everywhere.
Still, the food is so good that it warrants a return visit. Supposedly they have their own hawaiian cocktails on the menu, but we didn't try any of those and I'd go back just to see if they can get a cheesey Waikiki mai tai right.
So I saw the movie Mystic River yesterday, and it was interesting to watch the movie after having just finished reading the book. I was curious to see how the film screenplay and adaptation would compare to the book.
The movie faithfully sticks to the plot of the book, with some minor changes, and dialogue from the book is lifted into the screenplay. The novel was a crime novel, and like the book the movie is dark and gloomy.
There were a couple of what I would call schmaltzy scenes in the movie complete with sentimental loud music, where I'm looking at the screen and thinking what was that shot about.
I was surprised to see Kevin Bacon and Laurence Fishburne in the movie, because all you hear about is Sean Penn and Tim Robbins. It's an ensemble movie, meaning there really is no one character that stands out and the book as told from the point of view of the three boys.
Sean Penn was his usual explosive self. Having seen him on stage, you only get a hint (albeit a huge one) of the force of his rage and his powder keg personality. I'm not sure if it's his best performance since "The Sweet and Lowdown" and "I am Sam" I thought were better, but it's a good one. I've been told his performance in "21 Grams was fantastic, and the two combined might have led to his nomination.
Tim Robbins was fantastic. He really managed to inhabit his character very well, and his facial expressions and bod postures were so believable. Technically, Robbins gave a superb performance and probably his best.
It's not his usual character, and he probably got kudos from Academy voters for playing the role. I kept contrasting Robbin's character in Robert Altman's "The Player" with his "Mystic River" character, and I was amazed at how he was able to transform himself.
Robbins is a tall guy for Hollywood standards, and just by virtue of his height he has a commanding presence when in the room with most male Hollywood characters. Robinns managed in this role to make himself small, physically and emotionally, almost disappearing in a scene, and that kind of skill got him his oscar nomination. Plus his Boston accent was probably the best of the three main characters.
Marcia Gay Harden was very good as well, and by the end of the movie you could really feel sorry for her character. She was so tragic.
"Mystic River" is a damned good movie, but I don't know if it's Best Picture quality. Those schmaltzy musical shots gave the movie a subtle over the top feeling, like it's saying "look at me wink, wink, I'm an american tragedy". Those scenes were unnecessary because the characters themselves were all emblematic of the failure of the american dream and how one choice in life affects you for the rest of your life.
Catholics beware! I'm not sure if it's deliberate, but I thought there was not so subtle slap at the Catholic church in the movie especially in the light of certain recent scandals that have rocked the church. It might be just my imagination, but I got message.
And I guess other people did too. Check out this review from Newsday, Mystic River: Effect Eastwood shows a slow, sure hand in tale of revenge.
The movie faithfully sticks to the plot of the book, with some minor changes, and dialogue from the book is lifted into the screenplay. The novel was a crime novel, and like the book the movie is dark and gloomy.
There were a couple of what I would call schmaltzy scenes in the movie complete with sentimental loud music, where I'm looking at the screen and thinking what was that shot about.
I was surprised to see Kevin Bacon and Laurence Fishburne in the movie, because all you hear about is Sean Penn and Tim Robbins. It's an ensemble movie, meaning there really is no one character that stands out and the book as told from the point of view of the three boys.
Sean Penn was his usual explosive self. Having seen him on stage, you only get a hint (albeit a huge one) of the force of his rage and his powder keg personality. I'm not sure if it's his best performance since "The Sweet and Lowdown" and "I am Sam" I thought were better, but it's a good one. I've been told his performance in "21 Grams was fantastic, and the two combined might have led to his nomination.
Tim Robbins was fantastic. He really managed to inhabit his character very well, and his facial expressions and bod postures were so believable. Technically, Robbins gave a superb performance and probably his best.
It's not his usual character, and he probably got kudos from Academy voters for playing the role. I kept contrasting Robbin's character in Robert Altman's "The Player" with his "Mystic River" character, and I was amazed at how he was able to transform himself.
Robbins is a tall guy for Hollywood standards, and just by virtue of his height he has a commanding presence when in the room with most male Hollywood characters. Robinns managed in this role to make himself small, physically and emotionally, almost disappearing in a scene, and that kind of skill got him his oscar nomination. Plus his Boston accent was probably the best of the three main characters.
Marcia Gay Harden was very good as well, and by the end of the movie you could really feel sorry for her character. She was so tragic.
"Mystic River" is a damned good movie, but I don't know if it's Best Picture quality. Those schmaltzy musical shots gave the movie a subtle over the top feeling, like it's saying "look at me wink, wink, I'm an american tragedy". Those scenes were unnecessary because the characters themselves were all emblematic of the failure of the american dream and how one choice in life affects you for the rest of your life.
Catholics beware! I'm not sure if it's deliberate, but I thought there was not so subtle slap at the Catholic church in the movie especially in the light of certain recent scandals that have rocked the church. It might be just my imagination, but I got message.
And I guess other people did too. Check out this review from Newsday, Mystic River: Effect Eastwood shows a slow, sure hand in tale of revenge.
I thought this would be a lazy lay about the house day for me, but I ended up doing my taxes. I'm getting a huge refund! YEAH!!!
The refund is much more than I was expecting, so I think I'll buy a new TV, a dvd player and new vcr with the extra money. Maybe even a mini stereo as well, depending on what kind of deals I can get.
I'm going to wait another month just in case more forms come in, and then I'll get do some serious entertainment shopping.
The refund is much more than I was expecting, so I think I'll buy a new TV, a dvd player and new vcr with the extra money. Maybe even a mini stereo as well, depending on what kind of deals I can get.
I'm going to wait another month just in case more forms come in, and then I'll get do some serious entertainment shopping.
Thursday, January 29, 2004
So my weight loss is going ever so slowly, but I just measured myself and I lost an inch off the bum, one inch off my thighs, and an inch off my waist.
My clothes are fitting better, but they're still tight because gaining 10 pounds added two to three inches practically everywhere. To think that back in April I was complaining that my jeans were too loose and I was so not happy at having to buy smaller jeans since I'd just bought my jeans two months ago.
Maybe it's true what they say that every five pounds that you gain means you go up one size.
The loss of inches are coming from the walking and my light workout. Perhaps if I just increase my workout, I'll lose two inches off my thighs and two inches off my butt. And cross my fingers, my jeans should fit again. If the scale stays the same, I'm fine with it (although not very happy) as long as the inches keep coming off.
My clothes are fitting better, but they're still tight because gaining 10 pounds added two to three inches practically everywhere. To think that back in April I was complaining that my jeans were too loose and I was so not happy at having to buy smaller jeans since I'd just bought my jeans two months ago.
Maybe it's true what they say that every five pounds that you gain means you go up one size.
The loss of inches are coming from the walking and my light workout. Perhaps if I just increase my workout, I'll lose two inches off my thighs and two inches off my butt. And cross my fingers, my jeans should fit again. If the scale stays the same, I'm fine with it (although not very happy) as long as the inches keep coming off.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
I don't consider myself a romantic. I rarely cry at movies, but this movie just made me ball. It's an Australian film called Innocence.
I saw the trailer for it while watching another video, and I decided to rent it. I loved the premise of the movie, which is about rekindling your first love after 40 years. I have a thing about my first love so I had to see it.
I was in tears the whole time. It made me wonder what it would be like to see my first love again after 40 years. Would the guy still even remember me? He was my first love, but who knows where I ranked in his life.
It makes me teary eyed to think about rekindling a first love. Is it possible to start again, start all over? Can you pick up where you left off 40 years ago?
I've tried to answer this question myself, and tried to write a play about running into my first love. The play was hard to write, so I didn't finish it. I wanted my characters to have a happy ending, but I couldn't do it.
It made me wonder if I believed in second chances in life. I don't think I do. Once an opportunity is gone, it's gone forever and you can never get it back, not in the same way anyway. The play started to be about how there are no second chances in life, and even if there were, my characters wouldn't choose them. What couldn't work in the past can't work in the present. The thought depressed me so I stopped working on the play.
Watching the movie made me want to work on the play again. Maybe my characters can't have the happy ending they've always wanted, but maybe they can have happy moments. And perhaps a few happy moments are better than no moments at all right? I hope so.
I saw the trailer for it while watching another video, and I decided to rent it. I loved the premise of the movie, which is about rekindling your first love after 40 years. I have a thing about my first love so I had to see it.
I was in tears the whole time. It made me wonder what it would be like to see my first love again after 40 years. Would the guy still even remember me? He was my first love, but who knows where I ranked in his life.
It makes me teary eyed to think about rekindling a first love. Is it possible to start again, start all over? Can you pick up where you left off 40 years ago?
I've tried to answer this question myself, and tried to write a play about running into my first love. The play was hard to write, so I didn't finish it. I wanted my characters to have a happy ending, but I couldn't do it.
It made me wonder if I believed in second chances in life. I don't think I do. Once an opportunity is gone, it's gone forever and you can never get it back, not in the same way anyway. The play started to be about how there are no second chances in life, and even if there were, my characters wouldn't choose them. What couldn't work in the past can't work in the present. The thought depressed me so I stopped working on the play.
Watching the movie made me want to work on the play again. Maybe my characters can't have the happy ending they've always wanted, but maybe they can have happy moments. And perhaps a few happy moments are better than no moments at all right? I hope so.
Check out this Victoria's Secret link, Victoria's Secret Sale page. You can find some really good deals on clothes for under $20 under Clearance. I love shopping for marked down clothes on the Net. It's like digging through the sales racks at stores.
I picked up two Victoria's Secret matching lounge outfits to wear at home, each for under $20. They're cute outfits, 100% cotton, the top and pants match, and they're terrific when you want to look good but still be comfortable.
I picked up two Victoria's Secret matching lounge outfits to wear at home, each for under $20. They're cute outfits, 100% cotton, the top and pants match, and they're terrific when you want to look good but still be comfortable.
It looks like John Kerry won, and Chris Matthews and the Hard Ball gang are saying Howard Dean has a stint and and a 1 in 10 chance of winning the democratic presidential nomination.
I've turned the TV on just in case Howard Dean decides to give another "I have a scream" speech. God, I love that phrase. I wonder who coined it. People are so clever aren't they?
I never liked Howard Dean. He was too much angry talk and no substance on his policy issues. I still think the 2004 presidential election race will be close, with the Smirkiemeister coming out on top.
I'm a democrat, but I'm also a pragmatist at heart. Political pundits have been reporting lately that the republican party is united behind Shrub giving 90% support. This the real story of why the Shrubmeister will win. 9 out 10 people in his own party support him.
The democrats are fighting amongst themselves, and when there is too much infighting there is no unity. Demos just don't get that, and until they do people like Smirkiemeist will be running the country.
It's that theory of if you give people enough rope, eventually most people will hang themselves. The demos are hanging themselves, voting Green in local elections and saying it doesn't matter. Of course it matters.
It's the effect of living in a very connected world. What one small part of the world does really affects another. You can't be a demo and vote green in a local election, and not expect there to be consequences on the national party and national politics.
The GOP has disciplined itself to understand this theroy. They've learned to put their differences aside and present a united front. Arnie's win in the governor of Cali's race is testament to that.
But the GOP had to suffer a long time in politics to figure that one out. And their takeover of the federal government has been in the planning stages for years, and it started out in local elections all over the country. The GOP started connecting with all kinds of people, and well look where they are now.
Demos, I'm starting to think, are so insular, thinking that everyone is crazy and stupid except for them. That's not a great strategy for getting people over to their side.
So maybe it's the demo's turn to suffer. The only problem is, how long are people willing to suffer? It looks like to me another four years.
I've turned the TV on just in case Howard Dean decides to give another "I have a scream" speech. God, I love that phrase. I wonder who coined it. People are so clever aren't they?
I never liked Howard Dean. He was too much angry talk and no substance on his policy issues. I still think the 2004 presidential election race will be close, with the Smirkiemeister coming out on top.
I'm a democrat, but I'm also a pragmatist at heart. Political pundits have been reporting lately that the republican party is united behind Shrub giving 90% support. This the real story of why the Shrubmeister will win. 9 out 10 people in his own party support him.
The democrats are fighting amongst themselves, and when there is too much infighting there is no unity. Demos just don't get that, and until they do people like Smirkiemeist will be running the country.
It's that theory of if you give people enough rope, eventually most people will hang themselves. The demos are hanging themselves, voting Green in local elections and saying it doesn't matter. Of course it matters.
It's the effect of living in a very connected world. What one small part of the world does really affects another. You can't be a demo and vote green in a local election, and not expect there to be consequences on the national party and national politics.
The GOP has disciplined itself to understand this theroy. They've learned to put their differences aside and present a united front. Arnie's win in the governor of Cali's race is testament to that.
But the GOP had to suffer a long time in politics to figure that one out. And their takeover of the federal government has been in the planning stages for years, and it started out in local elections all over the country. The GOP started connecting with all kinds of people, and well look where they are now.
Demos, I'm starting to think, are so insular, thinking that everyone is crazy and stupid except for them. That's not a great strategy for getting people over to their side.
So maybe it's the demo's turn to suffer. The only problem is, how long are people willing to suffer? It looks like to me another four years.
I'm glad I saw "Master and Commander: The Far side of the world" before it left the theatres. It got so many oscar nods. I'm bummed however, that I missed "Seabiscuit", but hopefully the studio will redistribute the movie now that it's been nominated.
Okay, I saw "Lost in Translation" and while I thought it was a good movie, was it really "Best Picture" oscar worthy? I don't think so. I think Sofia Coppola got the nod because her movie is one of the only movies that is making any money. It was made with a low budget, and it's raking in the big bucks relative to much it cost to make. It's movies like "Lost in Translation" that are financially propping up the Hollywood film industry.
I likes LinT because it's an indie movie that appeals to a commercial audience. Coppola proves you don't have to make artie fartie movies that are self indulgent and that don't make any sense to be an indie, and you can make an indie type movie that does sell commercially and is entertaining. She breaks the myth that a movie can be artie and good, only if very few people have seen it, it loses money and it's not in the least entertaining.
"Master and Commander", which is also not a great movie, got the nod for Best Picture because technically it's a difficult movie to make. Academy voters like epics, and M&C is an epic. From a technical point of view, M&C was a difficult movie since they filmed on an actual ship. For all its techincal prowess, M&C did not make money in its run at the USA box office although DVD sales and its overseas box office, may help the movie to break even.
M&C, while not a great movie, is the type of movie that Hollywood used to make in its past. It's the kind of movie that really looks great on screen, and worth seeing in the movie theatre. It's also the kind of movie that generates a ton of jobs for Hollywood people, actors and techs.
Since Academy voters are all union members, it makes sense that they would vote for a picture that insures for them a sort of job security. Vote for oscar films that employ a ton of people, so those kinds of film keep getting made.
I'll watch "LOTR: Return of the King" and "Mystic River" this weekend.
"Mystic River sounds like an actor's movie, and "LOTR" had to get nominated because it's a box office smash, the story is great, and it employed a ton of technical people.
Okay, I saw "Lost in Translation" and while I thought it was a good movie, was it really "Best Picture" oscar worthy? I don't think so. I think Sofia Coppola got the nod because her movie is one of the only movies that is making any money. It was made with a low budget, and it's raking in the big bucks relative to much it cost to make. It's movies like "Lost in Translation" that are financially propping up the Hollywood film industry.
I likes LinT because it's an indie movie that appeals to a commercial audience. Coppola proves you don't have to make artie fartie movies that are self indulgent and that don't make any sense to be an indie, and you can make an indie type movie that does sell commercially and is entertaining. She breaks the myth that a movie can be artie and good, only if very few people have seen it, it loses money and it's not in the least entertaining.
"Master and Commander", which is also not a great movie, got the nod for Best Picture because technically it's a difficult movie to make. Academy voters like epics, and M&C is an epic. From a technical point of view, M&C was a difficult movie since they filmed on an actual ship. For all its techincal prowess, M&C did not make money in its run at the USA box office although DVD sales and its overseas box office, may help the movie to break even.
M&C, while not a great movie, is the type of movie that Hollywood used to make in its past. It's the kind of movie that really looks great on screen, and worth seeing in the movie theatre. It's also the kind of movie that generates a ton of jobs for Hollywood people, actors and techs.
Since Academy voters are all union members, it makes sense that they would vote for a picture that insures for them a sort of job security. Vote for oscar films that employ a ton of people, so those kinds of film keep getting made.
I'll watch "LOTR: Return of the King" and "Mystic River" this weekend.
"Mystic River sounds like an actor's movie, and "LOTR" had to get nominated because it's a box office smash, the story is great, and it employed a ton of technical people.
Everyone is weighing in on SF Supervisors Daly and Gonzalez wanting to rename SBC Park, 2 supervisors say hey, why not Mays Field? SBC, Giants unreceptive to name change.
But what no one seems be talking about is I think it's a reaction to what our sister city on the other side of the Bay San Jose is doing.
From a SJ Mercury News article on 1/21/2004;
**Facing an $85-million-plus deficit and anxious to find new revenue, the council unanimously passed a resolution Tuesday that allows City Manager Del Borgsdorf's office to seek out donations and sponsorships of up to $100,000. ... The new policy "is not intended to supersede or modify'' San Jose's ability to name its facilities, said a memo from Borgsdorf. It does not grant the city manager the authority to rename buildings, parks or services -- a power that rests with the council."**
I'm sure these supervisors are wondering whether San Francisco is going to do the same thing.
Like this for example. Snapple has agreed to pay New York City $100 million for exclusive rights to be the Big Apple's official drink.
Most cities are going broke or about to go broke. It's not just the federal government and states that are cash strapped, but the cities as well.
What's a city to do for money except sell itself for corporate sponsorship. Athletes do it all the time. Every sporting event on TV is awash with advertising signs. Why not cities and everything they own?
But what no one seems be talking about is I think it's a reaction to what our sister city on the other side of the Bay San Jose is doing.
From a SJ Mercury News article on 1/21/2004;
**Facing an $85-million-plus deficit and anxious to find new revenue, the council unanimously passed a resolution Tuesday that allows City Manager Del Borgsdorf's office to seek out donations and sponsorships of up to $100,000. ... The new policy "is not intended to supersede or modify'' San Jose's ability to name its facilities, said a memo from Borgsdorf. It does not grant the city manager the authority to rename buildings, parks or services -- a power that rests with the council."**
I'm sure these supervisors are wondering whether San Francisco is going to do the same thing.
Like this for example. Snapple has agreed to pay New York City $100 million for exclusive rights to be the Big Apple's official drink.
Most cities are going broke or about to go broke. It's not just the federal government and states that are cash strapped, but the cities as well.
What's a city to do for money except sell itself for corporate sponsorship. Athletes do it all the time. Every sporting event on TV is awash with advertising signs. Why not cities and everything they own?
Sunday, January 25, 2004
I read the following in a NY Times article on 1/25/2004 entitled Whoop, Oops and the State of the Political Slip;
**...consultants for Mr. Bush tried in vain to get him to control his smirk. Still, the smirk slips out from time to time, as it did last week during the president's State of the Union address when Democrats clapped at Mr. Bush's warning that the Patriot Act, an antiterrorism law, would soon expire.
"Bush is vulnerable when that smirk rears its ugly head," said a Republican strategist, who spoke on condition of anonymity. "It comes across as not only cocky, but arrogant, and nobody likes an arrogant politician."**
It made me chuckle that people were trying to get the Smirkiemeister to control his smirks, because obviously it didn't work.
**...consultants for Mr. Bush tried in vain to get him to control his smirk. Still, the smirk slips out from time to time, as it did last week during the president's State of the Union address when Democrats clapped at Mr. Bush's warning that the Patriot Act, an antiterrorism law, would soon expire.
"Bush is vulnerable when that smirk rears its ugly head," said a Republican strategist, who spoke on condition of anonymity. "It comes across as not only cocky, but arrogant, and nobody likes an arrogant politician."**
It made me chuckle that people were trying to get the Smirkiemeister to control his smirks, because obviously it didn't work.
I heard the new interim pastor at my church preach today. He's a nice older guy and his sermon was actually quite good, but it's his prayer for the people that I think shocked me and I think quite a few other people in the congregation.
The pastor is old, between 70 and 80, and he's been around. He even mentioned in his sermon that it was his greek professor who was one of the people responsible for the New Revised Standard Version translation of the Bible.
Okay so he's old, which means he's kind of old fashioned. Anyway, in his prayers he prayed for the president of the USA, "George and Laura Bush". Talk about shocking! I've never heard anyone pray for the health of George Bush ever in my church. It's just not done, not at least in my church.
As soon as words came out of the pastor's mouth, people were coughing and going "ahem", like they couldn't believe it either. I think if he had gone so far as to pray for "Dick Cheney and his wife Lynne", some people might have walked out. He also asked that we pray for the people of New Hampshire so that they make a good decision in choosing the winner of the democratic presidential nomination, and the congregation seemed to like that idea.
Poor guy. He'll probably get an earful for doing that. It is kind of odd, but I think it's just because the guy is old and old fashioned, and in his day you did pray for the president of the country as a matter of course, no matter what you felt about him. It's just weird to hear somebody pray for the health of a person many people in my San Francisco congregation would consider "the most hated man in the world, the next Hitler and the possible anti-christ".
I don't care either way. I mean, maybe we should be praying that the Smirkiemeister see the light and come to his senses and change some of his policies. It can't hurt.
It's odd that the new interim pastor prayed for him on one level, and it's odd on another level that I don't remember anybody else praying for the Shrubmeister before either.
Has my church congregation become so partisan in its views that we don't pray for someone that some people in the congregation don't like, even though there are other people in the congregation who think the Smirkmeister is God's gift to the world?
Shockingly true but yes, there are some people in my city of San Francisco church who totally love W and everything he's doing.
The pastor is old, between 70 and 80, and he's been around. He even mentioned in his sermon that it was his greek professor who was one of the people responsible for the New Revised Standard Version translation of the Bible.
Okay so he's old, which means he's kind of old fashioned. Anyway, in his prayers he prayed for the president of the USA, "George and Laura Bush". Talk about shocking! I've never heard anyone pray for the health of George Bush ever in my church. It's just not done, not at least in my church.
As soon as words came out of the pastor's mouth, people were coughing and going "ahem", like they couldn't believe it either. I think if he had gone so far as to pray for "Dick Cheney and his wife Lynne", some people might have walked out. He also asked that we pray for the people of New Hampshire so that they make a good decision in choosing the winner of the democratic presidential nomination, and the congregation seemed to like that idea.
Poor guy. He'll probably get an earful for doing that. It is kind of odd, but I think it's just because the guy is old and old fashioned, and in his day you did pray for the president of the country as a matter of course, no matter what you felt about him. It's just weird to hear somebody pray for the health of a person many people in my San Francisco congregation would consider "the most hated man in the world, the next Hitler and the possible anti-christ".
I don't care either way. I mean, maybe we should be praying that the Smirkiemeister see the light and come to his senses and change some of his policies. It can't hurt.
It's odd that the new interim pastor prayed for him on one level, and it's odd on another level that I don't remember anybody else praying for the Shrubmeister before either.
Has my church congregation become so partisan in its views that we don't pray for someone that some people in the congregation don't like, even though there are other people in the congregation who think the Smirkmeister is God's gift to the world?
Shockingly true but yes, there are some people in my city of San Francisco church who totally love W and everything he's doing.
Went out with another friend of mine for a post birthday lunch at The Beach Chalet. I forgot how great the view of the beach is there. It's the only place in San Francisco where you can eat a good meal and get a great view of the Pacific Ocean.
There were so many people at the beach, and The Beach Chalet was packed! I even ran into a friend from writing group there. San Francisco is such a small world!
It was such a beautiful day out at the beach. If you didn't know it, you'd think that living out on the coast of San Francisco was really nice and sunny all the time. It's not.
The second apartment I moved into in San Francisco was on the Great Highway. We were on the second floor, and we could see the ocean from our living room and kitchen. Oh my god, the weather down there was foggy all the time and freezing. At night, the wind would whip right off the ocean and into our apartment.
There were maybe 10-20 days out of year where it was a sunny and the weather was nice. The rest of the time, it was miserable. One week out of the year, the sun would set directly in front of our living room. That was cool.
And when you live out at the beach, public transportation sucks. It would take 45 minutes to an hour to get downtown. If you lived outside the city, you could get to downtown faster than I did living down there.
When I lived out there I never felt like I really lived in the city, even though my address said San Francisco. I was so far away from everything. It's like you're living in a foggy beach town.
We shopped at the Safeway at the end of Fulton, and it reminded me of grocery stores in San Diego, LA and Hawaii. I started calling it "the LA beach Safeway". There were always surfer types in there, beach bums, and the kinds of people I remembered seeing in beach town groceries.
Even the food they carried catered to the beach crowd. They had alot of vegetarian types of foods, stuff you'd never see in other Safeways in the city. The "LA beach Safeway" is still my favorite Safeway to shop at in San Francisco.
I think it's still one of the few Safeways in San Francisco that has a perpetual supply of Red Stripe Beer. Talk about the king of beach beers. Red Stripe is one of my favourite beers!
Best Red Stripe beer memories ... walking along South Beach in Miami with friends, watching the sunset and drinking Red Stripe beer ... dancing and drinking Red Stripe beer at the reggae festival in Washington DC at Malcom X park.
There were so many people at the beach, and The Beach Chalet was packed! I even ran into a friend from writing group there. San Francisco is such a small world!
It was such a beautiful day out at the beach. If you didn't know it, you'd think that living out on the coast of San Francisco was really nice and sunny all the time. It's not.
The second apartment I moved into in San Francisco was on the Great Highway. We were on the second floor, and we could see the ocean from our living room and kitchen. Oh my god, the weather down there was foggy all the time and freezing. At night, the wind would whip right off the ocean and into our apartment.
There were maybe 10-20 days out of year where it was a sunny and the weather was nice. The rest of the time, it was miserable. One week out of the year, the sun would set directly in front of our living room. That was cool.
And when you live out at the beach, public transportation sucks. It would take 45 minutes to an hour to get downtown. If you lived outside the city, you could get to downtown faster than I did living down there.
When I lived out there I never felt like I really lived in the city, even though my address said San Francisco. I was so far away from everything. It's like you're living in a foggy beach town.
We shopped at the Safeway at the end of Fulton, and it reminded me of grocery stores in San Diego, LA and Hawaii. I started calling it "the LA beach Safeway". There were always surfer types in there, beach bums, and the kinds of people I remembered seeing in beach town groceries.
Even the food they carried catered to the beach crowd. They had alot of vegetarian types of foods, stuff you'd never see in other Safeways in the city. The "LA beach Safeway" is still my favorite Safeway to shop at in San Francisco.
I think it's still one of the few Safeways in San Francisco that has a perpetual supply of Red Stripe Beer. Talk about the king of beach beers. Red Stripe is one of my favourite beers!
Best Red Stripe beer memories ... walking along South Beach in Miami with friends, watching the sunset and drinking Red Stripe beer ... dancing and drinking Red Stripe beer at the reggae festival in Washington DC at Malcom X park.
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Happy Birthday to me!
A friend took me to Grand Cafe, and the restaurant was so cool. She made the reservation and told them it was for a birthday. When we arrived, there was a happy birthday card on the table from the restaurant. Inside it said thank you for choosing Grand Cafe to celebrate your birthday. How sweet is that?
We ordered the Dine about Town menu, and I had a the seafood soup, and the pan roasted petaluma chicken with lemon thyme braised carrots & yukon gold potato puree. I was going to get the pumpkin creme brulee for dessert, but the waiter said since it was my birthday I could order whatever I wanted off the dessert menu for the same price.
I ordered the banana creme pie, and when it came it was a mini pie with sugar covered macadamia nuts and caramel drizzled all over. Yummy, yummy!
The restaurant also served us a free mini crab cake each as part of our appetizer. I totally love restaurants that give you free food.
A friend took me to Grand Cafe, and the restaurant was so cool. She made the reservation and told them it was for a birthday. When we arrived, there was a happy birthday card on the table from the restaurant. Inside it said thank you for choosing Grand Cafe to celebrate your birthday. How sweet is that?
We ordered the Dine about Town menu, and I had a the seafood soup, and the pan roasted petaluma chicken with lemon thyme braised carrots & yukon gold potato puree. I was going to get the pumpkin creme brulee for dessert, but the waiter said since it was my birthday I could order whatever I wanted off the dessert menu for the same price.
I ordered the banana creme pie, and when it came it was a mini pie with sugar covered macadamia nuts and caramel drizzled all over. Yummy, yummy!
The restaurant also served us a free mini crab cake each as part of our appetizer. I totally love restaurants that give you free food.
Friday, January 23, 2004
I think I'm definitely a "Blair Democrat". I'm not sure who coined this phrase, but Thomas Friedman of the NY Times used it in his column on 1/22/2004 - War of Ideas, Part 5.
**"It was a good night for the [Tony] Blair Democrats in Iowa," said Will Marshall, president of the Progressive Policy Institute. By "Blair Democrats," Mr. Marshall was referring to those Democrats who voted for the Iraq war, and conveyed "a toughness and resolve to face down America's enemies," but who believe the Bush team has mismanaged the project. **
**"It was a good night for the [Tony] Blair Democrats in Iowa," said Will Marshall, president of the Progressive Policy Institute. By "Blair Democrats," Mr. Marshall was referring to those Democrats who voted for the Iraq war, and conveyed "a toughness and resolve to face down America's enemies," but who believe the Bush team has mismanaged the project. **
I was just about to sign for a writing class on February 1, when I realized that's Super Bowl Sunday. I'm torn. I really want to take this class, but I also want to see the Super Bowl commercials. Watching the Superbowl is so fun, so traditional, and such a world wide spectacle.
I was just talking to a friend of mine tonight, and we were talking about getting together to watch the Superbowl at her house. Watching the Superbowl with friends is the best, although some nookie, a quick little shag actually, during the half time after the music program when I'm watching it with a SO runs a close second. As one of the ex's used to say, "isn't that what the half time is for?"
Okay, yes I do watch the football game as well, but I have no feelings for either of these teams.
I'm torn, I'm torn! How weird is that to hold a class on Super Bowl Sunday? The class instructor is my screenwriting teacher and she's a Brit, so maybe she can be forgiven for holding a class on a party day.
I hate this! I've been watching the Superbowl for years. It's like so traditional. Oh well. No writing class on Super Bowl Sunday for me.
I was just talking to a friend of mine tonight, and we were talking about getting together to watch the Superbowl at her house. Watching the Superbowl with friends is the best, although some nookie, a quick little shag actually, during the half time after the music program when I'm watching it with a SO runs a close second. As one of the ex's used to say, "isn't that what the half time is for?"
Okay, yes I do watch the football game as well, but I have no feelings for either of these teams.
I'm torn, I'm torn! How weird is that to hold a class on Super Bowl Sunday? The class instructor is my screenwriting teacher and she's a Brit, so maybe she can be forgiven for holding a class on a party day.
I hate this! I've been watching the Superbowl for years. It's like so traditional. Oh well. No writing class on Super Bowl Sunday for me.
Listening to The Cure's Wild Mood Swings.
It's his voice I love. It's so achingly heartbreaking!
Goth Girls of the World Unite!
So like the World Economic Forum doesn't have enough to worry about without this issue, World Economic Forum meeting is addressing the issue of aliens.
You know if the aliens are going to invade the earth soon, I wish they would tell us.
You know if the aliens are going to invade the earth soon, I wish they would tell us.
Just in case you've joined the world wide web hunt for Howard Dean speech remixes websites here's one, Dean Goes Nuts. MTV.com has an article and links as well, but their bandwidth isn't handling the demand well.
The Ozzy Osbourne remixes are the best, although the AC/DC remixes are a close second.
The Ozzy Osbourne remixes are the best, although the AC/DC remixes are a close second.
I was discussing weight loss with a friend of mine who does weight watchers, and she said there's a program on weight watchers called Wendy's plan. With Wendy's plan, you vary your points every day to fool your body into thinking it's not starving. She said it's a great way to break plateaus and when your weight loss is going extremely slow.
I like to eat the same amount of calories every day, but maybe I need to try this Wendy's plan. My weight loss is going so slow, and I seem to need fewer and fewer calories to lose weight. My body is stingily holding on to the weight, and maybe I'm in starvation mode and don't even know it.
I'm going to try it, and maybe even have a free day once a week where I can eat anything I want. My weight loss is going so, so very slowly.
I think I'm going to have to vary my workout as well. My body has adjusted to me walking 4-5 miles a day, so at this point exercise isn't doing a thing for my weight loss. I'm either going to have to vary what I do, up the aerobic amount or walk more miles.
I like to eat the same amount of calories every day, but maybe I need to try this Wendy's plan. My weight loss is going so slow, and I seem to need fewer and fewer calories to lose weight. My body is stingily holding on to the weight, and maybe I'm in starvation mode and don't even know it.
I'm going to try it, and maybe even have a free day once a week where I can eat anything I want. My weight loss is going so, so very slowly.
I think I'm going to have to vary my workout as well. My body has adjusted to me walking 4-5 miles a day, so at this point exercise isn't doing a thing for my weight loss. I'm either going to have to vary what I do, up the aerobic amount or walk more miles.
Thursday, January 22, 2004
It was strange to look at the Diego Rivera mural in the City College SF theatre tonight having finally watched the "Frida" movie a couple of days ago. There was Friday in the mural, I was trying to imagine him painting her and if she was here in San Francisco to pose for it.
It was also a strange coincidence that at the art exposition I went to on Saturday, a gallery was selling drawings made my Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera. I heard the gallery person telling someone that the drawings were hidden away, and were only recently just found.
It's a trip to watch a movie about the life of an artist and then to see their work.
Frida and Diego had such a bizarre marriage, but in the end they were together for almost 25 years. That's a long time. Rivera treated Kahlo very badly, but she knew what she was in for going into the marriage.
And at the end of the movie, Rivera redeemed himself by taking care of Kahlo when she was sick and out of money. They didn't have the greatest of marriages, but at the end he took care of her.
Their situation made me wonder what's really important in a marraige; someone who loves you who's faithful or someone who will take care of you when you're sick. Hopefully you get both, but I wonder if we're all just looking for someone who will take care of us when we can no longer take care of ourselves, and that love and fidelity may be important but not really necessary in the long run.
It was also a strange coincidence that at the art exposition I went to on Saturday, a gallery was selling drawings made my Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera. I heard the gallery person telling someone that the drawings were hidden away, and were only recently just found.
It's a trip to watch a movie about the life of an artist and then to see their work.
Frida and Diego had such a bizarre marriage, but in the end they were together for almost 25 years. That's a long time. Rivera treated Kahlo very badly, but she knew what she was in for going into the marriage.
And at the end of the movie, Rivera redeemed himself by taking care of Kahlo when she was sick and out of money. They didn't have the greatest of marriages, but at the end he took care of her.
Their situation made me wonder what's really important in a marraige; someone who loves you who's faithful or someone who will take care of you when you're sick. Hopefully you get both, but I wonder if we're all just looking for someone who will take care of us when we can no longer take care of ourselves, and that love and fidelity may be important but not really necessary in the long run.
I went to see A Doll's House by Henrik Ibsen at ACT tonight. The play is amazing and very modern, even though Ibsen wrote it in 1879.
When Torvald yells "Nora, Nora!", it made me think of Stanley in "A Street Car Named Desire" yelling "Stella, Stella!", and Tennessee Williams ripping on Ibsen.
I studied this play in college, and have seen it several times before and tonight the play seemed to be about choice. Two women, two perspectives on marriage and a women's role in it, and the idea of choice.
Is it better to choose to be in a marriage for several years, never knowing it's a prison and being cheerful about it and blissfully unaware, and then one day waking up to the realization that it's a prison from which you must escape at all costs?
Or, is it better to choose to go into a marriage with eyes wide open, knowing you're going into it because you have certain needs like money, or like being needed, or because you're lonely, or because you need someone or some cause to live for and you die at the thought of being in the prison of having nothing to live for but yourself ?
Ibsen presents both scenarios, and maybe it's my modern girl thinking, but either choice seems bleak. There are two love stories in this play; Nora and Torvald and Krogstad and Kristine. And is in real life, there are no victims only choices which can only be judged in hindsight as good or bad.
When Torvald yells "Nora, Nora!", it made me think of Stanley in "A Street Car Named Desire" yelling "Stella, Stella!", and Tennessee Williams ripping on Ibsen.
I studied this play in college, and have seen it several times before and tonight the play seemed to be about choice. Two women, two perspectives on marriage and a women's role in it, and the idea of choice.
Is it better to choose to be in a marriage for several years, never knowing it's a prison and being cheerful about it and blissfully unaware, and then one day waking up to the realization that it's a prison from which you must escape at all costs?
Or, is it better to choose to go into a marriage with eyes wide open, knowing you're going into it because you have certain needs like money, or like being needed, or because you're lonely, or because you need someone or some cause to live for and you die at the thought of being in the prison of having nothing to live for but yourself ?
Ibsen presents both scenarios, and maybe it's my modern girl thinking, but either choice seems bleak. There are two love stories in this play; Nora and Torvald and Krogstad and Kristine. And is in real life, there are no victims only choices which can only be judged in hindsight as good or bad.
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
I spent the whole day moving files from my work laptop to my home computer and to the company network and as always, I deleted files that I thought I had already moved.
This happens to me every time! I don't even know which files I deleted because I was moving so many of them. I'm really kind of upset about the whole thing, and I'm trying to tell myself that I didn't delete anything really that important. And if I did, I could easily recreate the file or get the information.
I should have it emblazoned on my brain, always check to make sure the files are the same in each place before you start to delete.
Yikes! I hate it when I do boneheaded crap!
This happens to me every time! I don't even know which files I deleted because I was moving so many of them. I'm really kind of upset about the whole thing, and I'm trying to tell myself that I didn't delete anything really that important. And if I did, I could easily recreate the file or get the information.
I should have it emblazoned on my brain, always check to make sure the files are the same in each place before you start to delete.
Yikes! I hate it when I do boneheaded crap!
Howard Fineman on Chris Matthew's Hard Ball show uttered a scary prediction. Fineman said that Howard Dean maybe 2004's Ralph Nader. If Dean decides to fight to the finish for the presidential democratic nomination, he could drain democratic election coffers. Pat Buchanan said as much as well. There wouldn't be enough money left in the demo war chest to run against Bush. Plus, like Nader, Howard Dean would split the democratic party.
The split part has already happened, and the war on Iraq did that. It's the emptying of the democratic war chest that has me worried. Whoever wins the democratic nomination if going to need a ton of cash to run against Bush.
I saw the clips of the speech of Howard Dean that people were kicking around today. On David Letterman, they showed the clip and had Dean's head explode. The guy was definitely about to come unglued.
I can't stand Peggy Noonan, but she did have the funniest comment about Howard Dean. Noonan said that Howard Dean would remind every American woman of the husband or boyfriend they had to slap a restraining order on. Sick but definitely very, very funny!
The split part has already happened, and the war on Iraq did that. It's the emptying of the democratic war chest that has me worried. Whoever wins the democratic nomination if going to need a ton of cash to run against Bush.
I saw the clips of the speech of Howard Dean that people were kicking around today. On David Letterman, they showed the clip and had Dean's head explode. The guy was definitely about to come unglued.
I can't stand Peggy Noonan, but she did have the funniest comment about Howard Dean. Noonan said that Howard Dean would remind every American woman of the husband or boyfriend they had to slap a restraining order on. Sick but definitely very, very funny!
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
It's bad and I can't help myself but I watched American Idol last night. And the only reason I watch that show is because of Simon Cowell.
Yowza, that man is attractive! And I don't know if he's attractive because he really is cute or because I like that's he's nasty and honest. I can't tell.
I was sitting there blowing kisses at my television to him every time his face appeared. Sick, sick, sick! I'm going to turn into one of those people who rearranges their life so they can watch some damned television show. There are very few network TV shows I would schedule my life around, and I guess this will be one of them.
Of course, it is deliciously fun to watch those contestants who absolutely can't sing but go ahead and audition anyway. I sit there and wonder, what were these people thinking. But hey! Maybe they purposefully are bad so they can get on TV, since they'll probably never get on any other way.
I'm already rooting for the red haired boy who did the Dean Martin impersonation and who has the old fashioned voice, and I'm hoping the anorexic scooter chick gets booted quickly. God, I just wanted to slap that woman and I don't know why either.
Yowza, that man is attractive! And I don't know if he's attractive because he really is cute or because I like that's he's nasty and honest. I can't tell.
I was sitting there blowing kisses at my television to him every time his face appeared. Sick, sick, sick! I'm going to turn into one of those people who rearranges their life so they can watch some damned television show. There are very few network TV shows I would schedule my life around, and I guess this will be one of them.
Of course, it is deliciously fun to watch those contestants who absolutely can't sing but go ahead and audition anyway. I sit there and wonder, what were these people thinking. But hey! Maybe they purposefully are bad so they can get on TV, since they'll probably never get on any other way.
I'm already rooting for the red haired boy who did the Dean Martin impersonation and who has the old fashioned voice, and I'm hoping the anorexic scooter chick gets booted quickly. God, I just wanted to slap that woman and I don't know why either.
What was it with Dean's speech after the Iowa caucuses? People on talk radio are talking about it like mad. Some lady said it was like a scene out of Dr. Strangelove. Maybe they'll show it on TV again, and I can see what people are talking about.
The funniest comment was by a guy from Burlingame who watched Dean's speech and said you wouldn't want that nut with his finger on the big nuclear guns.
The funniest comment was by a guy from Burlingame who watched Dean's speech and said you wouldn't want that nut with his finger on the big nuclear guns.
I'm not surprised Howard Dean didn't win in Iowa. All that anger and he's negative to boot. Plus, all those Hollywood types campaigning for him and outsiders coming in to the state probably upset people.
I lived in Iowa for four years. They're country people. They don't like outsiders coming in and getting into their business. Nobody likes that kind of behaviour actually, but midwesteners hate it with a passion. Midwesteners are also common sense and pragmatic people, and Howard Dean as a presidential candidate makes no sense.
Now that John Edwards is another story. He's starting to look very interesting, and that great Vanity Fair article didn't hurt either.
I lived in Iowa for four years. They're country people. They don't like outsiders coming in and getting into their business. Nobody likes that kind of behaviour actually, but midwesteners hate it with a passion. Midwesteners are also common sense and pragmatic people, and Howard Dean as a presidential candidate makes no sense.
Now that John Edwards is another story. He's starting to look very interesting, and that great Vanity Fair article didn't hurt either.
Monday, January 19, 2004
On the way to the dentist today on the N Judah, I think I saw Craig from Craig's List sipping what looked like a red drink outside a coffee shop called The Beanery on 9th Avenue between Judah and Irving. The Craig's List office is right down the street so it could have been him, but who knows.
I've never actually seen the guy in person, but only catch him occassionally on TV being interviewed.
I love how people say the Inner Sunset is affordable, because it's not. My hood is way cheaper, and you get more bang for your buck out here in the fog belt even though I'm only about 10 blocks away.
I've never actually seen the guy in person, but only catch him occassionally on TV being interviewed.
I love how people say the Inner Sunset is affordable, because it's not. My hood is way cheaper, and you get more bang for your buck out here in the fog belt even though I'm only about 10 blocks away.
Some people have said that the US went to war with Iraq because of its oil. Still others have said that the US went to war with Iraq because Sadam Hussein was asking to trade oil for euros instead of the dollar.
With the dollar's slide against all major currencies, I've begun to speculate whether the latter reason for the US war against Iraq might be just a little bit true.
And now there's this story which the American mainstream press isn't even touching, Sell oil for gold, not dollars, Mahathir tells Saudi Arabia.
What angers me sometimes about the left wing press is that they unceasingly advocate the failure of american corporate business and the dollar, without having any idea what this would mean for their own livelihoods. If american corporate businesses were to fail in large numbers and the dollar were to continue its slide, things here in the States are going to economically get really, really bad not just for the poor, but for everyone including the left wing press and media.
No one on the left seems to understand that though. When business is bad, it affects almost everyone except the very very rich. The left will not be excluded from an economic downturn. In fact, they will probably be the ones most affected as their revenue streams will the first to dry up. Except for the lucky few who are supported I suppose by businessmen like George Soros.
If oil stops being traded for dollars, and instead is traded for euros or worse gold, well, hold on to your hats beause it's going to be scary ride to economic hell.
With the dollar's slide against all major currencies, I've begun to speculate whether the latter reason for the US war against Iraq might be just a little bit true.
And now there's this story which the American mainstream press isn't even touching, Sell oil for gold, not dollars, Mahathir tells Saudi Arabia.
What angers me sometimes about the left wing press is that they unceasingly advocate the failure of american corporate business and the dollar, without having any idea what this would mean for their own livelihoods. If american corporate businesses were to fail in large numbers and the dollar were to continue its slide, things here in the States are going to economically get really, really bad not just for the poor, but for everyone including the left wing press and media.
No one on the left seems to understand that though. When business is bad, it affects almost everyone except the very very rich. The left will not be excluded from an economic downturn. In fact, they will probably be the ones most affected as their revenue streams will the first to dry up. Except for the lucky few who are supported I suppose by businessmen like George Soros.
If oil stops being traded for dollars, and instead is traded for euros or worse gold, well, hold on to your hats beause it's going to be scary ride to economic hell.
After the art exposition, I decided to walk from the Marina to the gym on Van Ness along Polk Street. The walk was nice, and I even found a new wine merchant and bought some very expensive sauvignon blanc.
When I got to the gym, I was feeling tired again so I decided to just bike for an hour. I ended up watching some stupid show on gym TV called Mutant X. I couldn't hear anything, but I watched it anyway. It looked like such a cheesey rip off of the XMen movie and comic book series, but I couldn't stop myself from watching it.
The actors were good looking and had powers but even without sound, I could tell that their acting was really, really bad. And it wasn't just bad acting, but the plot of the episode was awful as well. The writer made the Mutant X people come off like brainless pretty dummies with powers. It took them a whole hour to figure who the bad guy was, and they didn't even kill him at the end.
At several points in the plot, I wanted to yell at TV and shout "do a search on your computer for crying out loud!" Those characters were just so, so dumb. They were all stereoptypical dumb blondes, but with super human powers. How scary is that?
Still I had to watch it so I could see how the dummy Mutant X people would figure it all out and live, because it's a TV show and characters don't die. But for awhile I was rooting for the bad guy to just kill them and let Darwin's Law take over. Of course, no death for the dummy Mutant X people and they live to torture more people working out next Saturday.
Here's the episode I watched, No Exit.
When I got to the gym, I was feeling tired again so I decided to just bike for an hour. I ended up watching some stupid show on gym TV called Mutant X. I couldn't hear anything, but I watched it anyway. It looked like such a cheesey rip off of the XMen movie and comic book series, but I couldn't stop myself from watching it.
The actors were good looking and had powers but even without sound, I could tell that their acting was really, really bad. And it wasn't just bad acting, but the plot of the episode was awful as well. The writer made the Mutant X people come off like brainless pretty dummies with powers. It took them a whole hour to figure who the bad guy was, and they didn't even kill him at the end.
At several points in the plot, I wanted to yell at TV and shout "do a search on your computer for crying out loud!" Those characters were just so, so dumb. They were all stereoptypical dumb blondes, but with super human powers. How scary is that?
Still I had to watch it so I could see how the dummy Mutant X people would figure it all out and live, because it's a TV show and characters don't die. But for awhile I was rooting for the bad guy to just kill them and let Darwin's Law take over. Of course, no death for the dummy Mutant X people and they live to torture more people working out next Saturday.
Here's the episode I watched, No Exit.
I went to a party in Oakland on Friday, and woke up feeling really run down on Saturday. I only had 1.5 manhattans because I was driving, but now I'm thinking I might have picked up a flu bug of some sort.
Not to let illness mess up my weekend, I took a shower and headed off to the San Francisco International Art Exposition. If I had the money to do it, I could have bought myself a Chagall, a Picasso drawing, a David Hockney painting, or an Andy Warhol or two.
One gallery was even selling a polaroid picture that Andy Warhol took of Maria Shriver, in her younger days. I'm like whatever.
There were representatives there on Saturday morning from Bay Area museums on shopping sprees, and if there were stars and famous people there, and I'm sure there were, I didn't recognize any of them.
It was fun to check out what the commercial galleries were showing, and there were several galleries from New York, as well as galleries from Charlotte, Chicago, Houston, Moscow and Seoul Korea.
Some of the work coming out of Korea was really, really cool. One artist named Sung Tae Park worked in wire mesh, and showed horses sculpted out of wire running along a wall. The artist did the same thing with a wire mesh curtain panels sculpted into the shape of babies at the end. Very, very interesting stuff.
Aside from the famous stuff, the only other artist I really liked was David Bates, from the DC Moore Gallery in New York. I particularly liked a piece he did called Oranges. The paint was very lush and textured, and I loved his orange colours which reminded me a little of how Cezanne does his orange colours.
Not to let illness mess up my weekend, I took a shower and headed off to the San Francisco International Art Exposition. If I had the money to do it, I could have bought myself a Chagall, a Picasso drawing, a David Hockney painting, or an Andy Warhol or two.
One gallery was even selling a polaroid picture that Andy Warhol took of Maria Shriver, in her younger days. I'm like whatever.
There were representatives there on Saturday morning from Bay Area museums on shopping sprees, and if there were stars and famous people there, and I'm sure there were, I didn't recognize any of them.
It was fun to check out what the commercial galleries were showing, and there were several galleries from New York, as well as galleries from Charlotte, Chicago, Houston, Moscow and Seoul Korea.
Some of the work coming out of Korea was really, really cool. One artist named Sung Tae Park worked in wire mesh, and showed horses sculpted out of wire running along a wall. The artist did the same thing with a wire mesh curtain panels sculpted into the shape of babies at the end. Very, very interesting stuff.
Aside from the famous stuff, the only other artist I really liked was David Bates, from the DC Moore Gallery in New York. I particularly liked a piece he did called Oranges. The paint was very lush and textured, and I loved his orange colours which reminded me a little of how Cezanne does his orange colours.
Saturday, January 17, 2004
I was listening to a friend of mine tonight, who thinks I'm crazy for listening to conspiracy radio, regurgitate Bush bashing rhetoric that I've been hearing since 1999. She kind of got mad at me because I told her she wasn't telling me anything new.
She said "Don't you care?", and I said, "Of course I do, but you're telling me theories and stories that I heard two years ago." I wanted to tell her that it's not my fault that you're just finding out all of this stuff now, but I didn't. I wanted to tell her that all this stuff she's been hearing about Bush has been talked about to death on conspiracy radio since 1999, but I didn't. She was already so mad at me that I'm not outraged more by what's going on.
I don't know. I guess I'm not as outraged as she is because I've had two years to get used to Bush and all that he's doing to the country. And you know what, I'm over it. It's an old story to me.
There are a ton of other things in this world to get outraged about. How about the continuing devaluation of the dollar for one? Or the whispers of there being two currencies in the country - an international dollar to keep the world markets stable and a national dollar that the government can inflate the hell out of?
Or the political turmoil going on in Pakistan? Or the continuing nuclear problem in North Korea where analysts have been predicting for years that the country will be the first to detonate a nuclear device? Or the rumors of an upcoming draft because we need more soldiers?
"Forearmed is forewarned" someone once said. Information is power. Those who have it, use it and react appropriately. Those who are blindsided by information can only be reactive, and when you're reactive you often don't make appropriate decisions.
She said "Don't you care?", and I said, "Of course I do, but you're telling me theories and stories that I heard two years ago." I wanted to tell her that it's not my fault that you're just finding out all of this stuff now, but I didn't. I wanted to tell her that all this stuff she's been hearing about Bush has been talked about to death on conspiracy radio since 1999, but I didn't. She was already so mad at me that I'm not outraged more by what's going on.
I don't know. I guess I'm not as outraged as she is because I've had two years to get used to Bush and all that he's doing to the country. And you know what, I'm over it. It's an old story to me.
There are a ton of other things in this world to get outraged about. How about the continuing devaluation of the dollar for one? Or the whispers of there being two currencies in the country - an international dollar to keep the world markets stable and a national dollar that the government can inflate the hell out of?
Or the political turmoil going on in Pakistan? Or the continuing nuclear problem in North Korea where analysts have been predicting for years that the country will be the first to detonate a nuclear device? Or the rumors of an upcoming draft because we need more soldiers?
"Forearmed is forewarned" someone once said. Information is power. Those who have it, use it and react appropriately. Those who are blindsided by information can only be reactive, and when you're reactive you often don't make appropriate decisions.
Thursday, January 15, 2004
I had Film History class tonight, and it's like so karmic that there's a cute Kevin Spacey lookalike in class. I never thought Kevin Spacey was all that cute, until I saw him "Hurlyburly" with Sean Penn. And even then, I thought I found him attractive because he's such a great technical actor.
But the Kevin Spacey lookalike in class is really cute, which lends credence to a friend's theory that all Hollywood actors are damned good looking people.
Tonight we watched "Double Indemnity". Dennis Quaid looks like Fred MacMurray, and even plays the same kind of roles. Not sure who is the current Barbara Stanwyck though. Stanwyck's clothes and shoes in the movie were just fantastic.
I like Film Study, but wasn't happy shelling out $80 for the textbook. I didn't know this was a two part film history class, with my class being part two. The textbook is for both classes, so if I take part one of the class next fall I won't feel so bad about paying bucko bucks for a textbook.
But the Kevin Spacey lookalike in class is really cute, which lends credence to a friend's theory that all Hollywood actors are damned good looking people.
Tonight we watched "Double Indemnity". Dennis Quaid looks like Fred MacMurray, and even plays the same kind of roles. Not sure who is the current Barbara Stanwyck though. Stanwyck's clothes and shoes in the movie were just fantastic.
I like Film Study, but wasn't happy shelling out $80 for the textbook. I didn't know this was a two part film history class, with my class being part two. The textbook is for both classes, so if I take part one of the class next fall I won't feel so bad about paying bucko bucks for a textbook.
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