I went to my office half an hour earlier because of the protest, and the building was locked and surrounded by tons of police people in riot gear. They weren't very many protestors, but the building security people and the police were not letting anybody through.

My new boss called me and we met and sat in a coffee shop for about 20 minutes, and then tried again to get into our building. By around 9 am, they were letting people in again as long as you showed your badge ID. My new boss took myself and the guy I'm replacing out to lunch, and when we left the building the security was still tight and we weren't sure if they were going to let us out.

By the time we came back from lunch, it looked like all the protestors were gone. When I left work, the police barriers were still up and there were guards and a few police outside of the building just in case anything else happened.

There weren't very many protestors, but I guess enough to spook people out. I saw a bunch of protestors dressed in pink ballerina tutus, but I had no idea what they were doing. There such a feeling of violence in the air, something I've never experienced before in any protest I've ever been in here in San Francisco, back home in Hawaii, and even in Washington, DC. It just felt like people were waiting to hit something, somebody, anything.

When did protestors become so darn angry and violent? I've been in protests with over a quarter of million people in Washington DC, and I never felt the violence I felt on the streets of downtown San Francisco this morning.

At my writing class on Monday during a break, I was expressing some concern about the protests because I knew it would be just my third day at my new job and I didn't want to be late for work since I work hourly and needed the money. One of the women in class, who just assumed I had been in previous anti-war protests, told me lighten up because "didn't I remember how fun the anti-warprotests were last year?"

I just looked at her and didn't say anything. I was like so shocked and deeply offended that she just automatically assumed that all people in San Francisco feel the same way politically about everything, and that of course I would be at the anti-war protests. I would never make that kind of assumption about anyone, especially about political issues in the San Francisco Bay Area.

It's such an arrogant San Francisco Bay Area mindset to think that everyone thinks the same way politically. I think people here think that the rest of the country feels exactly the same way we do about political issues, or if they don't they should. It's such a fascist attitude to me to just assume that everyone thinks the same way about everything, and if they don't then they're either stupid or there is definitely something wrong with them.

I never expect anyone to have the same opinions I do, especially political opinions. Politics is so deeply personal, like religion and sex. And since everyone on this planet is unique, it makes perfect sense to me that every single person could have a totally different political opinion than mine.

My assumption, and it's probably a wrong one, is that every single person thinks deeply about politics and has informed opinions that are uniquely their own and no one else's. I think about politics very deeply and try to stay informed. I would never adopt or parrot a political opinion without studying and researching it first, just because my parents, my friend, my family, people I admire, and the media have that certain political opinion.

Politics is way too important to me for me to not think deeply about an issue and to look at an issue from all sides before forming my own individual and unique opinion.

I've only been at my new job three days, and I've already brought work home because I have a 9 am meeting on Monday that I need to prepare for. It's a good project for me because it's something I've done before so I kind of feel like I kind of know what I'm doing. I'm in familiar territory because the project involves clinical analysis, and that's been my main job for the last three years. This project is a little more involved, but at least I'm used to looking at clinical data.

My boss has never done clinical analysis, so I am on my own here but at least I feel qualified to actually do this project. My boss feels put out because the project was dumped in her lap from some VP, and it's an area she has no expertise in. It's kind of like the VP heard a new analyst was being hired, so she thought "great, let's see what the new analyst can do and if she really has healthcare experience and is worth the salary we're forking out for her."

OY!!! I've had a hard three day start to my new job. I feel like they expect me to hit the ground running, and I'm like sitting there wishing I could have a job where all I did was answer the telephone or some mindless activity like that.

The clinical analysis stuff I can do, the financial data modeling I'm not so sure of only because I haven't done any real finance work since 1997. Back then I built my own sales financial models, but I was used to doing finance work.

I did a search on Amazon.com and will probably buy some financial modeling books just to refresh myself. I think I'll feel more comfortable once I do some research. The guy who I'm replacing built a very robust financial model that I'm hoping will last for a couple of years before a new one has to be built.

I don't why the finance aspect of my job is freaking me out, because in my finance work life I used to prepare information to go in 10Qs, annual reports, shareholder reports, and quarterly earnings releases. I even worked on an IPO once, and had to sign SEC agreements not to divulge company secrets because I was considered an "insider" and could be held liable for "insider trading". What a laugh!

But that was years ago, and I'm just not used to doing that kind of work anymore.

Being in a new job is so draining. I feel so inadequate for my new job. It's not that job is that hard, difficult yes, but not impossible. It's just that I keep having this feeling that I'm overwhelmed. I know I've felt this way at other new jobs, but I just don't remember it ever being this bad.

I don't know. I feel stupid. I shouldn't feel stupid, but that's the way I feel. My intuition tells me that I'm just having first week jitters at my new job, and that everything will be fine. The first month of any new job is difficult because you're learning new things and getting used to new people, new work and different routines.

I remember being at one job where I kept wanting to quit during the first month, but I stuck it out and that job turned out to be one of my better jobs. I hope that I'm just having first week of job freakout and that it's not something worse.

My first day of work in an office, and I'm like so stressed. My boss called in me in the afternoon and said I have to attend a meeting with her tomorrow and her boss, even though I probably won't understand anything that's going on.

So I'm back to cube land with no privacy, which is such a change from my office with a view in my last office. People at the office seem nice enough. There's good water and the company has its own cafeteria, but no free coffee. There's hot water in the good water dispenser, so if I bring my own tea bags I can drink tea.

There's a payphone on my floor. Is this a hint about not making personal phone calls on the company dime? Thank god for cell phones. I have a picture badge ID which gets me from floor to floor. I'm going to need it on Friday for the anti-war demonstration on Friday.

My new building is right at one of the major demonstration sites, and a memo went around about the tighter security and advising employee to try to get to work early in case of demonstrators. I've managed to avoid the anti-war freaks since the war started, and now I'm at ground zero for the next demonstration.