Completely forgot about my blog for ever so long.  It was my online diary for so many years when blogging was new.  So many things have changed since that time. We live in such a different world. I'm on my third job since my first blog post and we are finally in the year that the ancients spoke about that will signal the end of the world.

I am saving all my blog posts so I can have a record of my life.  When I read my blog posts, it's like I'm reading the diary of someone else which is a strange feeling.  That person who wrote those posts does not seem like m and yet I have memories of that person.

I used to be so political back in the day.  Now I don't see any differences between the parties.  You need so much money to get elected and corporations give money to both parties so their agenda gets in no matter who is in office.  Does it really matter who we vote for since the Supreme Court decided who should run the country.  The people that think they see the future expect that will happen again next month, so does my vote really matter when a court can decide who wins any election?

And honestly, has anything changed really for working people since we put the other party in office.  The US still has too many troops deployed abroad.  I just paid $4.50 for gas which the news reminded me this morning is the same price I paid in 2008.  Food prices have not come down and for whatever reason, I cannot find Sumatran coffee at Costco anymore.

As you can tell, I am in a very melancholy mood this morning.  Have been for the last two weeks, and I'm not sure why.  Maybe blogging will help me tease out my indian summer of discontent.  But it's not like I am unhappy because I'm not, but I do feel like we are all on the edge of something and that something is not very good.

My reincarnated daughter has finally made me see the light. Her father, my twin soul, is aligned with very dark forces. I did believe it but I thought he was a little dark, but no he is truly dark. He is aligned with pure evil, which would make me the wife of someone who is pure evil. And that I cannot have.

So despite the fact that I have done what so many want to do, which is find my twin soul, I will leave my twin soul. Not that I can ever really leave him, because one cannot be truly disconnected from your twin soul, but I have vowed to have as little contact with him as possible.

My eyes have finally been open.

The crucifixion of the Christ is a stargate. Meditating on the cross opens up a stargate. JC showed the way; putting element 115 in your palms and in your feet will allow you to operate the stargate of the cross. The symbol of christianity is a stargate.

Insights from Kona trip March 2010

I miss him. When our eyes met at the Conscious Life Expo in LA over two years ago, I knew I knew him. And when I decided to explore our connection, it was like opening a can of spiritual worms. Our lives were so intertwined you and I. When I had a reading done to look at our akashic records, I saw that our records were intertwined like vines that went for billions of years. Was I never to be my own person? Was my life always to be connected to him? And yet, I did escape from you, lived out separate lives, even loved many others besides you, many of whom I have already met in this life.

I did not want to tread down a well-worn path, but I was drawn to him and I was able to get to know him just a little. He even jokingly once said to our friends that I had loved him forever. I laughed and did not even know if he knew what I knew or if he was just joking.

But now he is with another which hurt like hell at first, but I have gotten used to it now. I even had a dream that he was married to someone else, and I woke up not feeling sad but a little amazed that I felt no pain, no jealousy and I was happy that in the dream that he had found someone who could truly love him.

Because even if we have been together for billions of years, I don't know if I love him. I have seen all the lives where he has hurt me, experienced all the memories of the atrocities he as committed not only against me, but also against our children, and some lives whole communities. I sometimes wish I didn't know what our past lives were about, that I was still ignorant and that I was meeting him for the first time in this life time. But that is not the case, I cannot go back to ignorance having seen the cold light of truth.