So a part of me feels weird because I'm not going to any of the anti-war protests. I didn't even support the first gulf war. But two people whose political opinions I totally admire, Thomas Friedman from the NY Times and Christopher Hitchens who used to write for The Nation, support the administration's efforts ainst Iraq.

Christopher Hitchens, who said the progress of any nation depends on the education and advancement of women, is a well known left wing socialist political commentator. Thomas Friedman, a columnist for the NY Times, who friends have said is the most balanced and fair political essayist at the NY Times. Both men, coming from different political perspectives, support a US led war against Iraq.

I think I've become more pragmatic as I've gotten older. I mean I've always been practical, but now I'm both practical and pragmatic especially when it comes to politics. The anti-war people haven't offered a more pragmatic solution to dealing with Iraq. All I seem to hear from anti-war people is this war is about oil, even though the US only gets 6% of its oil from Iraq. Or, they say that Bush is continuing the war that his father fought, even though Clinton himself bombed two or three places when Iraq kicked the inspectors out of the country in 1998.

Or, all you hear is anti-Bush rhetoric. I mean, I cannot help but think that if it were Bill Clinton or any other democrat in the White House, the anti-war fervor would not be so great. Deciding international policy based on partisan politics is not the smartest way to decide whether you support something or not.

If only the ant-war people would offer a more pragmatic solution, then maybe I'd protest, although I wouldn't attend the rallies only because they're run by ANSWER, an organization that is anti-american, supports the regimes of Saddam Hussein, communist North Korean, and supports Milosevich, the Palestinan campaign of terror against Israel, and the Chinese government crackdown of student dissidents at Tianeman Square.

Instead, I'd write my congresspeople or my senator. But until I hear a more pragmatic solution to dealing with Saddan Hussein, then I can't protest. We've had the inspectors in and out of Iraq for 11.5 years, and still the man has weapons. Iraq has already said NO to the UN peacekeeping troops in the country, which was part of the UN proposal France and Germany were working on. Iraq has already also said NO to destroying those missiles that violate UN limits for how they travel. Saddam Hussein is not going to ever willingly disarm, and since when has containment ever worked in international policy or in real life. Britian thought it had European aggression contained in the first part of the 20th century, and out of that containment came WW1 and WW2.

The original resolution seems wrong anyway. The onus is on Iraq to disarm and for the UN to inspect. I wish I knew my WW2 history better, because I'm wondering what the japanese terms of surrender were after WW2. From what I remember, Japan was disarmed and it worked. Did the UN not follow the japanse example with Iraq? I'll have to research this.

I mean, come on. What country is going to willingly disarm? It's a messed up situation from the get go, and there is no easy solution to the problem. But right now, the Bush administration seems to have the only pragmatic solutin on the table.

The rest of Saturday I spent trying on jeans. I got so tired of my baggy jeans, that I made myself go shopping. I tried on Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, Tommy Hilfiger and Jones New York jeans. The size 8 for all brands fit, even the slim Tommy Hilfiger jeans. I ended up buying a pair of Ralph Lauren and a pair of Tommy Hilfiger jeans.

I probably could have squeezed myself into a pair of size 6 jeans, but I've been wearing loose fitting jeans for so long that I started liking my jeans to fit loose and not tight. I never thought jeans fit right unless you had to lie down to put them on, but I must be getting old because now I like my jeans well fitting but not so skintight they leave marks in your legs.

God, I remember two years ago trying to buy a pair of Tommy Hilfiger jeans and not even being able to squeeze my body into a size 16, which is largest size they sell. I mean, I could get them on but they were so darned tight. Now I'm the proud owner of a pair of size 8 jeans that are fit, but aren't tight. I mean it's not like my life has radically changed or anything with me buying a smaller pair of jeans, but I am totally tripping on my jeans shopping adventure.

Of course, now I'm like thinking about trying to get into a pair of size 6 jeans since I haven't even gotten to my goal weight yet. But I know that's not good. I should enjoy the pleasure of buying a pair of size 8 jeans, something which I haven't done since college. And now that I did spend some money on my size 8 jeans, I'm kind of hoping to stay a size 8 for awhile just to make the jeans investment worthwhile.

On Saturday morning, I went to the opening of the Gavin Newsome for Mayor Headquarters on Van Ness at California. Everyone was marveling at the turnout, especially on a three-day weekend. 300 people jammed the room to hear Gavin and his wife, Kimberly Guilfoyle, an assistant DA for the city speak.

Three well-dressed and expensive looking Pacific Heights matron types were talking about Newsome's future, since you can only be a mayor of San Francisco for two terms. They were saying maybe state senator, state representative, and the biggest prize of California poltics, the governorship.

Well, he's definitely go the Gray Davis style of fundraising down. Newsome's campaign has already gotten more money than the all the SF mayoral candidates combined. I'm even thinking of donating money. The man definitely has something. I don't know what it is, star quality maybe. He's got that special gift of making everything he says sound so sincere and so from the heart. I don't know him well enough to know whether he really means what he says, but even if he does or doesn't, I think he will always sound like he does.

Newsome did say that contributions from his campaign came from every zipcode in San Francisco. I wonder if this happens to all front runner candidates. The crowd gathered on Saturday was definitely a mix of people from the City.

I think most of the people there are like me, tired of business/politics as usual in San Francisco, the cit that can't seem to ever get anything done. I think what I like about Gavin Newsome is he's a pragmatist, not an idealist. I think he will shake things up at City Hall and try to get something done, and not just spout idealistic pronouncements and hope the city will take care of itself. It's almost worth voting for Gavin Newsome just to get back at all the left wing political freaks who have made it impossible to get anything done or passed in the city. I think Newsome will lead the city back to the center, and perhaps lift the malaise that has descended on San Francisco city politics.

There is nobody else I would really support. I don't want to elect someone who will polarize the city. The City has some serious problems, and we need someone who can get support from the right and left in the city. Yes, despite what you read in the paper, on the internet and hear in the media, there are conservatives in San Francisco. Not very many, but I think there are at least 10 - 20% who will actually admit to being a republican. My neighborhood is about 15% republican, and there were plenty of Bush/Cheney signs in people's windows during the 2000 election.

Personally, I would place the republican figure higher, but it's San Francisco and you just can't say you're a republican because you'd be ostracized, so the safe thing to say is you're an independent. But then if you don't register with a political party, you don't get to vote in the primaries, which I what alot of people I know do. They only vote in the General election, or worse, they just don't vote which is too bad.

I just bought a couple pairs of size 8 pants, and already they're getting a little loose in the butt area. I think I might have to starting buying medium sweaters, because the large sweaters I own are starting to hang on me.

I've washed my jeans in hot water, and they shrank a little. I'm going to keep washing them in hot water till I get them to the right size. This is weird, but even my panties are starting to look too baggy on me. What a trip!

I think the weightlifting is contributing to my smaller size, because my weight hasn't budged. I've lost an inch off my bust area, half an inch off my knee, and half an inch off my arm. I'd love to have nice sculpted arms, but not too sculpted like Madonna or Angela Basset. I definitely don't want my arms to look that muscular. Yucky! I'd to also run on the treadmill for either an hour without stopping, or increase my speed. That would be totally cool. I've always wanted to run a 10 minute mile. I wonder how long would I have to train to run that fast. A 10 minute mile would be a personal record for me. My personal best running record is a 2.5 hour half marathon (13.1 miles) time. That's about an 11.5 minute mile. A 10 minute mile would totally be a great goal to train and work for, wouldn't it?

Okay, yes, I got sucked into watching "Are You Hot?". I coudln't help it. I was so curious about what the celebrities would consider "hot" men and women. Thin is definitely in, but not too thin for women. Some of those girls looked so anorexic. For the men, the look is definitely to be buillt and muscled, but not too mucscled. Also watch those legs guys. No chicken legs on men! Some of the judges said the woman looked too hard, so the fresh look is in. And bone structure. For men and women, if you have great bone structure then you're ahead of the crowd. And youth. No oldies but goodies on this show.

Most importantly though, which is kind of cool, if you exude self confidence, are happy and smiling, feel good about yourself, and have a great attitude, then the physical characteristics aren't as important. This is good to know, isn't it? All that matters in the end is how you feel about yourself and projecting this out to other people.

The news is reporting that there are now 150,000 US troops surrounding Iraq. Wow, that seems like a lot of personnel. I was really grateful that someone in church a couple of weeks ago said a prayer for the troops. No matter what your opinion is about Bush and the upcoming war in Iraq, we should never forget to pray for the men and women who defend our country. They make it possible for the people back home to have the freedoms we do.

Sometimes at church, people forget to pray for the troops, and instead pray that we don't go to war. I mean, it's fine to pray that we don't have a war, but it kind of upsets me when we don't pray for our troops. It's probably not San Francisco politically correct, to pray for the people who defend our country, but I don't care. I just hope that if we do go to war, that the anti-war people don't treat the soldiers badly if and when they come home. I've read that the soldiers were treated very badly by the anti-war protestors, when they returned home from the Vietnam war. I hope history doesn't repeat itself again.

The soldiers are just doing their job, just doing what they feel is right, just exercising their right to defend the country, just as the anti-war peope are exercising their right to protest a war that they they feel is not justified.

I heard an interview with the editor of the Economist a few days ago. He endorsed the war. Thomas Friedman, the NY Times critic whom I totally respect for his knowledge of world affairs, endorsed the war. Ronn Owens said it right some time this week. Who do you trust more? Saddam Hussein or George W. Bush? Not that I voted for Bush or would reeelect him, but I definitely trust him more than Saddam Hussein.

As for the French and the Germans. I say follow the money trail. Iraq is France's and Germany's biggest trading partner. The US only gets 6% of its oil from Iraq. France and Germany are just trying to protect their supply chain and their revenue source. How bad karma of them! I think we will go to war, whether France, Germany, Belgium, Russia, China, the UN Security Counsel, and the anti-war protestors like it or not.

Some congressional representatives have even called for a boycott of French goods, and for the US to pull its troops out of Germany. I think we should do all of these things, but we need to also take it one step further, and cut off any American aid to any country who goes against us on this issue. Ungrateful countries! They bite the hand that feeds them. I hate that! Then if the US stays out of some country's affairs, like on the Israeli/Palestinian issue, these same countries whine and tell us we aren't doing enough for world peace. Make up your mind people! Mon dieu!

Ted Koppel just said something funny (not a direct quote), "it hardly seems like unseemly haste that we're going to war with Iraq, since we've been trying to disarm Iraq for 12 years and have failed miserably in the attempt." I totally agree!

I picked up a bottle of Bollinger champagne to take to the Valentine's Day party I'm attending tomorrow. Bolly's, how ABFAB! I normally buy Veuve Clicquot, a brand I've been drinking since 1991, but I was so curious about Bolly's.

While at Booze R Us (Beverages and More - it's like a toy store for adults), I also checked out the price of Cristal champagne which I keep hearing mentioned in the lyrics of popular songs. Wow, it's really expensive! On sale, Cristal will set you back $150, normally it's $200. I've had Dom Perignon; it's a very smooth bubbly which costs about $90. No Cristal for me this year, or any year unless my finances take a 1000% jump or someone else buys it.

I'm not a big straight champagne drinker. I rather drink champagne mixed drinks like mimosas or poinsettias (cranberry juice and champagne), or champagne cocktails even. The only liquors I really like straight are ice cold russian vodka, single malt scotch whiskeys, sherry, madeira, port, and good Kentucky bourbons.

Life is such a small world. I was listening to the radio news, and they were reporting on the verdict for the woman who ran over her hubbymeister three times with the Benz. A voice comes on, and I'm like "I know that voice." Then the radio announcer says it's Robert Pugsley, a professor at Southwestern University. Mr. Pugsley is a good friend of a very good friend of mine. My friend keeps telling me that Bob gets interviewed on the radio all the time when the media is looking for lawyer opinions, but I'd never heard him before.

Bob did the commentary for the OJ trial on a radio station here, and made a ton of money. He took the both of us out to dinner once, and jokingly said "OJ was paying our meal". It was so cool to finally hear him on the radio. He doesn't sound at all what he looks like, by the way.

I can't help and I know it's evil, but whenever I hear the story of the Texas woman who ran over her cheating husband with the Benz, it makes me smile. I'm like, the guy totally deserved it. The woman came home and found the husband in bed with his mistress. I mean, how tacky can you get. If you can afford a Mercedes Benz, you can afford to take your ho to a hotel.

That's what I don't get. If a guy must cheat, why does he make it so easy to get caught? I mean if a guy feels compelled to cheat, he should at least be discreet about it and not get caught, and certainly not get caught by his wife in their bed. The guy totally deserved being run over, and three times for the following reasons; 1) for cheating and breaking the marriage vows 2) for cheating in the bed he sleeps in with his wife and 3) for being stupid enough to get caught.

I finished God Talk by Brad Gooch, and while I enjoyed most of the chapters I wish he would have come up with a concluding chapter on what he discovered on how modern American worships.

The most interesting chapters for me were the first three chapters, probably because I had read, heard of, or knew of people who were practicing those religions. Chapter 1 was on The Urantia Book, Chapter 2 was on Hinduism in America, and Chapter 3 was on The Trappist Abbeys, Thomas Merton and on Catholicism. Gooch writes that the many monks at Gethsamini became disillusioned with their vocation after Vatican II, which made the Catholic church more modern. "Vatican II stripped down the wall that people were hiding behind ... now you can no longer hide behind the poetry of Catholicsism to sustain your vocation", commented a monk to Gooch.

One interesteing thing about the Trappists abbeys is that they sell products. The Gethsamani Abbey for monks Gethsamani Abbey sells fruitcake, fudge and cheese, and Our Lady of Mississippi Abbey for nuns sell candy. I am seriously thinking of buying their products to support them. They lead such a fascinating life of contemplation, work and ritual. You can vacation at the Abbeys for retreats, which I've always wanted to do. There is something so interesting about the contemplative life.

Here's a Valentine's Day fun thing to think about: Favorite romantic scenes from a movie.

Off the top of my head, no particular order.
1. "Ever After", the part when the prince asks Cinderella to marry him, and puts the beautiful shoe on her dirty stockinged foot.
2. "Persuasion"(1995 version with Amanda Root and Ciaran Hinds), the reading of the letter from Captain Wentworth, and then he and Anne meeting outside the house in Bath and kissing.
3. "It Could Happen to You", the part where Nicolas Cage and Bridget Fonda are planning to move to upstate New York.
4. "Pride and Prejudice" (A&E version), the part where Mr. Darcy tells Elizabeth he still loves her.
5. "Bridget Jones' Diary", the end where Mark Darcy kisses Bridget.
6. "A Room with a View", the ending where Lucy and George Emerson are kissing.
7. "Top Gun", the end where Tom Cruise and Kelly McGillis are kissing.

I own all these movies except for Bridget Jones Diary. I'm not sure whether Sense and Sensibility had any romantic scenes, or if they did, there aren't any scenes that are sticking in my head. Same thing with Emma, although I thought about including the scene with Emma and Mr. Knightley where he tells her he loves her.

SF Bay Area Diners - Dine About Town has been extended! I'm excited. I spent way too much money eating out, but boy was the food really good! I think I dropped about $30 and up per meal, and I ate desserts too and didn't gain any weight. Definitley good stuff.

Monday night is TV night for me.

At 8 pm, I start with "Veritas, The Quest", the new show on ABC. It's about a group of scientists looking for ancient objects of power. I love stuff like this. It's an action adventure show, so they don't have the time to get too much into detail about the ancient power objects but they do enough where I find the show interesting and fascinating. It's like a modern Indiana Jones, only with a father and son and a group of scientists.

Then at 9 pm, there's "Joe Millionaire". Tonight's show was a teaser, and basically nothing new was revealed. Bummer. I'll have to wait till next week's finale. I can't wait.

Then there's "Miracles", at 10 pm again on ABC. Tonight's show was creepy. They didn't reveal till the end that the woman the main character fell in love with was actually a ghost. I was like, oh my god - the guy was kissing a ghost. God, I love that. I had no idea, and I wish now I had taped the show so I could go back to look for clues. I love "The Sixth Sense" touch. The ghost woman could use the phone and call and leave a message, but I don't think anyone ever saw her except for the main character.

I'm still marveling at tonight's "The Miracles" story line. I wish I could write a story like that.

The Art of Pacific Asia exhibit made me think about finishing a short story I started a few years ago, called "The Blue Haired Buddha on Union Street". When I used to hang out on Union Street, there was a giant blue haired buddha in the window of an asian antique store. I used to always stop by the window, and stare at the statue. I just loved the Buddha's blue hair. I don't know why, but the blue hair was so cool.

I like the blue haired buddha so much, I decided he needed to be in a story so I started writing one, but I never finished it. I knew how the story should end, but I could never figure out how to get from the beginning I wrote to the end I envisioned. Years later, a fun and fantastical way to get from the beginning to the end of my story came to me yesterday in the shower. It will make for a weird story, but I think that's okay because then I'll have finished the story finally after all these years, and sometimes that's the only important thing.

I'm reading this really interesting book called "God Talk: Travels in Spiritual America" by Brad Gooch. A friend in my Wednesday night bible class gave it to me to read, and I'm really enjoying it.

What's fascinating to me is I know about all the alternative religions he's talking about. I know people who are into the Urantia Book and the Aquarian Gospel of Jesus Christ. A good friend is a well known TM teacher in Berkeley, and whose boyfriend was meditating in India with Beatles. I know people who are into Gurumayi, Yogananda, Vivikenanda, Ramakrishna, and I know someone who even studied with Fred Lenz.

What's interesting is how many people are searching outside of mainstream christian religion for answers that they're not getting. I did the same, but ended coming back to Christianity because it was my first religion. I did find what these other spiritual seekers were looking for in the religion of my childhood, but I think only be exploring other alternatives and finding out that my childhood religion had all the answers all along. I just didn't know it at the time and needed to leave to find out.

I had the sniffles all day, and I couldn't tell if another cold or flu was coming on or if my allergies were acting up, so after church I came home and slept most of the day. When I sleep, my immune system kicks up and can kill any bug that's invading my system.

I took the bus on Saturday and spent alot of time outdoors, since I was going to three different places and didn't want to deal with the hassle of parking. It was a nice sunny day, although the temperature was in the 60's and it was quite chilly if you weren't in the sunshine. So, either I got too cold and picked up a chill, or being outdoors in the Presidio kicked up my allergies, or I was around too many people who might have been carrying cold germs and didn't know it.

I spent some time on Sunday, installing McAfee Virus Scan 7.0 on my computer. My Norton Anti-Virus software wasn't compatible with windows 2000. I'd also been getting way too many trojans on my computer, so I figured I'd better get a win2000 compatible virus software program right away and since McAfee was on sale at Costco for about $20 with a rebate, I bought it.

Right before I installed McAfee, Norton said I had another trojan virus on computer. I typed the virus name on the web, and I found out I had a variant of a worm virus called YAHA. It's a nasty little trojan virus that somehow attaches itself to your virus software. I tried to delete it, but every time I rebooted my system the YAHA worm virus would reinstall itself. The YAHA virus creates a directory on your system that says \microsoft\tcpsvs32, and had a program in there called die.exe. I ended up hacking into my registry and deleting the Norton virus line in my startup. Once I did that, I was able to delete and directory and the worm. What a pain!

When I installed McAfee and ran the virus scan, the program additionally picked up nine infected files with the virus trojan. So scary. The McAfee virus scan included a Firewall program, so I installed it as well. Hopefully, the new programs will keep trojans away. I got rid of the preview pane in my mail program too.

I don't know how I picked up the trojan either, but most likely it was from an email with an exe file or scr file attached to it.

The Arts of Pacific Asia was a well heeled event, with exhibitors showing museum quality pieces. I saw a beautiful gold Buddha from Kashmir from the 9th/10th century CE for $120,000. The I saw chinese Han dynasty vases from 200 BCE, but there was no price. There was also an exibitor from New York who had some great Mughal Empire paintings, which I think are so beautiful, selling for $3,000 and up.

You could also purchse Meiji era Japanese prints, a favorite of mine, from a UK exhibitor for $1,100 and up. There were chinese snuff bottles galore, as well as those strange tiny chinese shoes going for $400 and up. There were also beautiful clothing and rugs, as well as ceramics, furniture and jewelry.

I think the most inexpensive thing I saw there, was a small but very pretty century japanese woodblock print from the early 1900's for $65. I was tempted to buy it, just to have something from the event, but settled on a book of Mount Fuji paintings and woodblock prints for $20.

It would so great to have money to collect beautiful art objects. There were several things I saw there that I would love to have, including the $120,000 gold Buddha, which was the best looking Buddha there. I mean it had to be right? It cost enough. I saw a beautiful japanese gold screen with cranes, price not shown, which probably meant it was unbelievably expensive. I would love to own it, but it's huge.

If I had money to spare to buy museum quality art, I'd probably have a big house to display all my art objects, because that's the other thing you need to collect art, the space to display it. There's a couple at church who collect museum quality christian/religous artwork, but they also own a 4-floor Queen Anne house in the Haight where they can display their collection proudly. Lucky people!

The American Flag exhibit at the Presidio was great. It was so fun to see all the different flags, and see how the flag evolved as our country evolved. I loved how the first flags had handsewn stars.

The curators made the exhibit so interesting by adding the history of each flag. In the 1800's, there was a big controversy about whether to add states that were "slave" states. Henry Clay's Missouri compromise of 1820 tried to settle this issue by having the government add one free state and a slave state at the same time. This compromise also established the 36° 30´ parallel as a dividing line in the rest of the Louisiana Purchase territory. Below it, new states would allow slavery; above it, slavery would be banned.

I'm sure this issue was covered in my American history classes, but I'd forgotten how contentious the slavery issue was and how long it had been brewing. Clay's Missouri compromise of 1820 postponed the outbreak of the Civil War.

In 1850, California entered the union as a free state, yeah Cali, which upset the balance of free and slave states since the western territory was not covered by the 1820 compromise. Henry Clay again helped to broker a compromise, whereby any state entering the union would decide on its own to be a free or a slave state. Kansas apparently went through a bloody fight over the slavery issue, but eventually entered the union as a free state.

The exhibit showed some flags from the North that left out the fifteeen slave states, called "exclusionary flags". Between 1860 and 1861, seven slave states withdrew from the Union because of slavery and started the confederacy. These slave states were South Carolina (Jesse Helms' state), Mississippi (home of Trent Lott) , Florida, Alabama (George Wallace's home state), Georgia, Louisiana, and Texas. An additional 6 more slave states would join eventually join them.

Since I had the classic left wing liberal education, I started to speculate that those states that had entered the Union as slave states most likely voted for Bush in the 2000 election. I'm bad huh? You can blame that left wing liberal education of mine.

The exhibit also had some George Custer memorabilia, and I saw George Custer's belt buckle and one of his diaries. Custer graduated from West Point, and fought in the Civil War for the Union.

Othe items of interest was the arrangement of the stars and over the years and the stripes. There were some interesting star arrangements over the years. There was also an issue about the number of stripes for awhile too. The exhibit also noted that the practice of carrying the flag into battle started during the civil war, to tell the two sides apart.

I went to the gym today, and I decided to see how I felt running on the treadmill. I haven't run in so long. When was I was heavy, runnig was really painful and then there was the freaky feeling of having body parts like my butt jiggle that never jiggled before. Talk about your body moving without you.

I ran at the 4.5 speed for 15 minutes, then upped it to 5.0 for five minutes, and then upped it again to 5.5 minutes (about an 11 minute mile) for the final five minutes. I couldn't believe it! 25 minutes of solid running, and I wasn't sore and the only thing jiggling was my tummy. YEAH!

God, I would love to run a 10k again or at least train for one. The Far Side 10K is in December, and that would be a good race to shoot for. They always give out cool tshirts too.

I used to love to run, and logged about 15-25 miles a week. I ran two miles every day, and every weekend a long run of 5-10 miles. Running always made me feel strong and healthy, and I'd like to get that feeling back. I'm not sure if I'm ready for outdoor running, but just being able to run without stopping for 25 minutes on the treadmill is good enough for me right now. I wonder if I'll ever get back to the point where I can do do trail running, and have no fear of big hills. That would be a miracle.

The terrorist alert has me a little worried, but what can you do? You've still got to go and act as if nothing terrible is going to happen. What happens if that alert ever goes to red? That's what I'd like to know.

I've got a busy weekend planned as well. I'm checking out the American Flag exhibit at the Presidio, then I plan to check out the Arts of Pacific Asia show. My brother collects antique japanese art objects, and I'd love to get something for him. Plus, there's my Saturday workout at the gym as Saturday is my weighlifting day.

I don't think the SF Bay area is a target, but you never know.

It's all too much to think about, so tonight I'm seeing "Chicago". I could use a little song and dance in my life right now, to lift my worried spirits. I hear "Adaptation" is a must see for screenwriters and writers in general, and I'll probably see that movie sometime this weekend as well.

I hate living in this scary post 9/11 world!

So I watched half an hour of the Michael Jackson documentary. I saw the part where he's dancing. Man, the boy can move. Then they showed the 3,000 acre estate he lives on. After that, I switched channels. Michael Jackson looked so strange to me. His face, his nose, and even his hair. And what is up with his voice.

God, I really used to like him too. I thought he such an innovative music artist, and before the Pepsi fire, not a bad looking guy. I guess I didn't want to watch the documentary because I didn't want to spoil my images of him and respect for him. I mean, the guy comes off as such a freak. And what's worse, the guy is breeding and makes his children walk around in masks. Can you imagine what the psychotherapy bills for the children will be like now and in the future? It's sad, so sad.

I wasn't sure what to write about today, but then I remembered I was going to write about seeing "Gangs of New York".

What a great movie. It was violent as heck, but I really admire the scope and breadth of Scorcese's vision. He directs the kind of story that is so perfect for the big screen. It made me wonder about my screenplay, and how my story is personal and small compared to Gangs.

Daniel Day-Lewis was superb, but then he always is. I don't think that I've ever seen a bad performance from him. I think I would have to agree with some reviewers that Leonard Dicaprio was a bit miscast, but he can't help it if he's Hollywood thin and pretty. Cameron Diaz was also an interesting choice as the only female in the movie. Her irish accent was flawed, and although her acting was adequate, I think that playing next to someone like Day-Lewis made her acting weaknesses stand out. I think Dicaprio suffered from the Day-Lewis eclipse as well.

Day-Lewis is so riveting as an actor, that all attention goes to him when he's in the scene. Liam Neeson has the same power as Day-Lewis, but he was only in the movie for such a short time. Day-Lewis' hair was so darn greasy, that I really got the sense that he was dirty inside and out.

I was surprised by the orgy scenes. It's kind of stuff you see in french movies, and almost never in american movies. I loved the fight scenes movies, which were way better than the fight scenes in Braveheart. I love all that blood and gore stuff when it's realistic. I know that this sounds strange, but seeing realistic violent scenes is the only way for me to visualize a violent fight. I've been lucky in that I've never been seen violence up close, but in some way I think it's unfortunate that I've never really been exposed to the more seamy side of life. My life has been quite sheltered, and to me this explains my love of violent movies. Perhaps if I had a taste of violence in my real life, I might not be so fond of it on the big screen.

The movie really made me want to read the book, and it also start me wondering about what my immigrant grandparents went through when they came to this country. I know they hated it, and vowed for their children and grandchildren to have a better life. I think they succeeded it, but it makes me wonder what hardships they had to go through. They never talk about it, even when you ask them. They just say it was a hard life. I think they want to forget that part of theif life, block it out, perhaps because it was too painful; I wish I knew.

I saw a special on Bravo about the authenticity of Gangs of New York. The show interviewed a historian who said that irish have come a long way in America, and how excited they must have all felt when just 100 years later, an irish catholic by the name of JFK was elected to be president of the country.