Sometimes I get really down on myself for my progress in writing, but I didn't know I wanted to be a writer till 1999 and it wasn't until sometime in late 2001 that I decided I wanted to pursue writing for the rest of my life and that maybe it was some kind of calling.

My earliest memory of wanting to be a writer was when I was in 4th grade, but isn't that an idea that all ambitious teachers put in their students' heads at that age? My 4th grade teacher had the whole class write stories, and then we bound our books up and donated them to school library where they could be checked out by other students.

I remember thinking at that age, it would be fun to write children's books. But then the idea went nowhere sort of. Oh, it resurfaced from time to time. Like in 6th grade when I discovered the playwright Eugene O'Neil and decided I want to write plays. Or like in 7th grade when we had to write a children's story in English class. But then writing got pushed back to some remote corner of mind. Always kind of there but only allowed out briefly every few years or so.

When I graduated from highschool, I saw myself as in the following two careers.

1) russian language interpreter at the United Nations. I thought it would be so cool to work for the UN and live in NYC. I chose russian because I was into the russian revolution, and wanted to restart the revolution over because communism had been such a failure.

2) Madison Avenue advertising executive living in NYC. I wanted to be one to change the way ads are put out. I wanted to put a social conscience in advertising, and decided to change the system I needed to be a part of it.

Being a writer wasn't something I thought about doing after high school or in college. I was told by countless people I was a good writer of stories, but I was like so. So what? Doesn't everybody write well and have vivid imaginations?

I wish I was one of those people who grew up wanting to be a writer. It must be so great to have started that young, and to have that writing ambition grow with you through life instead of disappear the way mine did.

I guess I should just be grateful my writing desire surfaced again, but it did so only after acting bug started to fade.

I sometimes wonder if writing is my thing, but I keep being drawn to it and it's kept me interested so far. I suppose once it starts to seriously bore me, I'll something else. But stupifying boredom hasn't set in yet. Serious frustration yes, but serious boredom no.