Sometimes even good things must come to an end, especially when they stop becoming fun. So red-haired guy and I are over ... big surprise. He was such a rush, but with every good rush comes a downer.

After that first boredom level, combined with his lack of communication and busy schedule, I decided that bowing out was better. Perhaps he decided this as well, and took the easy way out. Last weekend, all my girlfriends told me stories about guys who they dumped after all the attention stopped. It was like a national epidemic, and I guess I was a statistic.

But we did have fun, and it was a rush and we got some loving in, but now it's time to come back to the real world. I'm having a ton of anxiety about it all. Breaking off a relationship no matter how short is so anxiety producing. It's been such a weird weekend.

But maybe it was all worth it, because now I'm in such a mood to write. Gotta love a guy who puts me in the mood to write. I still really like the red-haired guy, but our dating styles just don't match. As someone once wrote, "you should be in a love relationship with someone whose addictive programming, whose issues you can live with". I think this statement is true, and I just couldn't live with red-haired guy's issues. I still love him, but he's just not dating material.

Not really sure if he's even story material yet except for our first meeting, but maybe that needs time to percolate. What a rush that boy was! A fun rush, but rushes just can't last, can they?

This is just me, but I know part of me is already kind of bored with the red-headed guy. 50 days and I've reached my first boredom level. This always happens with me, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the guy. It's just my thing. I think it's my way of claiming back my sense of self, and stepping back from a relationship because I'm like ready to kind of move on to the next thing. Maybe not necessarily a new relationship, but definitely something new to think about other than my red-headed guy.

I've been in such an insecure dour mood lately. I hate when that happens. Poor red-haired guy, I'm sure he's like not happy with me. But today I feel much happier.

A friend and I are jetting down to LA the first weekend in November to attend the Creative Screenwriting 3-day expo. I'm excited. Three days of screenwriting classes with everything from character development, dialogue to marketing. And my friend says there are parties afterwards, and we're going to stay in the hotel where all the parties are at so we can stumble back up to our room at 1 am. My friend says she partied every night and blew off her 8 am classes, so she warned me about taking early classes.

I'm bad because the thought that keeps running through my head is "I'll meet guys, writing guys, maybe an editor/writing guy which is like my total fantasy life partner." I'm pretty darn sure red-headed guy will probably still be in life come November, but can't a girl still dream? Red-headed guy is great, but he's not a writer. I've been meaning to ask him if he wouldn't mind reading some of my stuff so I could get his feedback, but I don't know if I want to go down that road yet.

As much as I bitch and moan about my red-haired guy, I am so glad he's in my life. He's been one learning lesson after another for me. I've learned so many things about myself in my dealings with him. And he really lets me by myself without judgement, and I'm learning to appreciate things about myself that I didn't know were good qualities.

Like how I chased him down. What a great balm I must be to this guy's ego, because I so chased him down and made him think he was the best thing since sliced bread. What guy wouldn't want some girl that he thinks is attractive calling him constantly and telling him how much she wants him? And telling him how funny he is, how attractive, how he's just perfection on earth. Any person would want that I think.

And I forgot how much I actually enjoy pursuing a guy and being the hunter, rather than being the one hunted. In college, I did most of my hunting and I was much happier that way. And my aggressive hunter skills have only been honed working in corporate America, so it's a role I kind of enjoy playing anyway.

My friends will tell you that when I get an idea into my head, I usually just go for it. When I see what I want, I go out and get it. Why wait around if you know that's what you want. And red-haired guy is definitely somebody I want right now, big time. For how long, I don't know. But in the meantime, I am reliving my college days and am having a blast being the aggressive girl who my best friend and first love dubbed "his little royal canadian mounty" because he said "I always got my man."