It's so funny to read my neurotics posts about my red-haired guy. I am so "in love" with him, it's wild and so unprecedented. Maybe he is a huge lesson for me in how to love unconditionally, because no matter what he does or doesn't do I'm still into him.

I'm like so feeling the transformative power of love, and it's a feeling I've never ever felt before. I feel and see myself changing daily, and I find it fascinating. I would so become an "LA poodle" girl just for him.

But I think he is trying to change for me as well. He made a comment about his drinking and how he drinks alot, something I've never commented on. He also used to say this one phrase constantly, which I swore to god if I heard him say one more time I would slap him, and for whatever reason he's not saying it anymore. He also made comments about how he does work a ton, which doesn't leave us much time to see each other. Well, that and the fact that he does work in LA and is only here on the weekends.

He also used the "G word - girlfriend" inadvertantly, and I called him on it and he tried to excuse himself out of it saying I was a girl and a friend. And I'm like whatever because he already more than abused the "l word - love" with me.

But I love being in love, and I feel love vibes from my red-haired guy all day and all night long and I hope it's him thinking of me. And I try to send him love vibes all day and all night long with the message that I totally adore him. Ahhhh, romantic love is such a fun little trip.

I didn't get to see him this weekend because he was way too busy, and I started seriously panicking and thinking gloomy, gloomy thoughts. But then I told myself that there's no urgency to see him like we only have a short amount of time to see each other and then the whole thing will burn itself out. I have the feeling my red-haired marina frat boy is going to be around for a really, really long time, and we all have all the time in the world to see each other.

So I just called him and left a message saying I missed him something awful, and I needed my red-haired guy fix, and I hope I get to see him soon.