The Giants won game 4, and I am so incredibly distracted by this world series that I can't concentrate on my screenplay. I thought I would push up my deadline and have it finished by Thursday night, but I don't think I can do it. Last night, I was too burnt out to write. Tonight was my bible studies class, and we were discussing the crucifixion and the ressurection and whether it matters if you believed the events actually happened or if these events are just metaphors for faith. My mind is buzzing on that whole discussion. I think there were people in class who probably don't believe that the crucifixion and resurrection actually happened, not that it matters to me if they do or don't because that's a person own private and personal business, and who am I to pass judgment on what other people believe or don't believe. I certainly don't want other people passing judgment on what I believe or don't believe, and this is where for the bible teaching of "do unto other as you would have them do unto you or judge not and you shall not be judged" come in. What was interesting was the sense of shame and secrecy that stole over class about the whole subject. I totally believe it's true, but that's just me.

How can I go back to writing my screenplay after a discussion on what I think is a cornerstone of christian faith; the crucifixion and resurrection of JC.

I only pushed up deadline to Thursday night because my screenwriting teacher is leaving for Europe Friday morning, and I wanted her to take my screenplay with her so she could read it, which she said she would do. I originally thought I would finish my screenplay by Saturday night, because I didn't think I could write with that kind of intensity. It certainly looks like I was right about myself. I think it's hard, at least for me, to write that intensely day in day out. I did it for Nanowrimo, but that was because I think you can write very intensely day in and day out on a first draft. In fact I'm starting to think now that first drafts should come out as quickly as possible, just to get something down on paper.

For my screenplay, I'm in second draft mode. I am doing the second rewrite from scratch, but it's not like I'm just writing off the top of my head. Since I pretty much know how my characters are and how they behave from writing the first draft, when I rewrite the story I have to really think about whether my characters would actually behave and talk the way that I'm writing that they do. In first draft mode, at least in my first draft mode, I sort of know stuff about my characters but not how they actually talk and behave. There's a sense of discovery and exploration of the character in first draft mode. In second draft mode, it's more like does what I'm writing ring true for the character from what I already know about him or her.

That whole section above probably didn't make sense at all, but there is a difference in a second draft rewrite.

I was thinking of taking tomorrow off, but I decided not to. I want my screenwriting teacher to read my screenplay before I send it off to the contest, but if she doesn't, it's not that big of a deal for me. It's not like this is a final, final draft. This is the second draft of my screenplay, and I'm sending in to the contest for two reasons. One, to see how I rate along side other writers and two, to move my screenplay to a state, a place, where I can comfortable leave it until I decide to work on it again.

Since it's the world series as well as football season, I'm into sports analogies. Using baseball analogies. The first draft of your work is like getting to first base. Second and third base represent either a 2nd or third draft or however many drafts you feel you need to get to second and third base. When you write your final, final draft, then you've scored a run. Using football analogies. The first draft is the return after a kickoff. The drafts represent downs, and who know how many downs it will take you to get to the goal line, or get your writing piece to a point where you're satisfied with it and you feel there's nothing else you can do to improve on it. The final final draft means you've scored a touchdown.

Entering my screenplay into a contest in second draft mode is like going from first to second base. I've moved the screenplay further along in the process. I can either leave my screenplay at second bae, or if I wanted to, I could work on it some more and move it from second to third base, and then work on it again until I'm absolutely done, which will mean I've reached home plate and scored a run.

It's good to for me to move my writing pieces out of first draft mode, and to get them further along in the process. I haven't been very good at moving my writing pieces along, having only rewritten two short stories. I'd like to change that. This screenplay will set the table for my writing pieces to move towards final draft mode.

Maybe if I didn't work full time, or if there wasn't a compelling world series on with the hometown team playing, or if I didn't have this very interesting bible class I attend every Wednesday night which makes my mind reel and buzz, I could write with the kind of intensity that I'd like to have. But life is always going to get in the way of my creativity, so I think I just need to write with the kind of intensity that comes naturally to me. And for now, my intensity is there, it's just not there every day. I definitly need time off just to recharge my creative energies, especially after an intense writing session. I wrote for four hours on Monday, and two hours on Saturday and Sunday. I probably could have written for a longer period of time on Saturday and Sunday, but it was hard to settle down to write. Once I do settle down, the writing becomes easier and I think if the world series wasn't on, I could concentrate a little better and get more writing done.

Some part of me wonders if I'm just making excuses and rationalizing my laziness and my inability to meet my own deadlines. I wish I knew the answer.

Right now all I can think about is GO GIANTS!