I went out to dinner last night to a restaurant called Ponzu. The restaurant specializes in mixing asian and western foods, or fusion cooking. This was the first fusion restaurant that I really liked. The food was fantastic!

Dining out while dieting is interesting. This was first dining out experience with someone, while on my new eating plan. I tried to keep my calorie count for breakfast and lunch pretty low, so I wouldn't feel so restrictive at dinner. Ponzu encourages family style dining, so my friend and I shared the food were ordered. The bill was $70 with tip, which is very reasonable for dinner.

I didn't order a drink, because liquor is just extra empty calories for me. I've never needed booze to have a good time, so not having wine or a cocktail isn't a big deal. I would have been content with the two dishes we ordered at first, but my friend was still hungry, so we ordered one more dish. We had scallops with some kind of salad, chicken, and pork with eggplant. I had two scallops, one chicken wing and one breast, and a pork chop and a half. I would have preferred to eat a fish dish, but my friend really wanted the pork.

My friend ordered rice, which I decided not eat to because of the extra dish. My friend also wanted to split a dessert, but I declined because of the extra pork dish. If we hadn't ordered the extra dish, I would have split a dessert.

Family style eating while dieting is difficult, especially if your with someone who eats more than you do. If we had gone to a regular restauarant, I would have ordered a salad and either soup or an entree of meat and vegetables, and I would have been happy. If I had just soup and salad, I might have even splurged on a dessert.

I was thinking about maintaining my weight loss this morning, when I'm at my goal weight. I don't think there is any such thing as maintenance, meaning the way I'm eating now is probably the way I'll need to eat for the rest of my life. The only difference is that at goal weight, I'll be able to eat about 300-500 more calories than I'm eating now. I'll never be able to mindlessly eat the way I used to. I'll always have to watch what I eat, and eat smaller meals when I'm going to a party or to dinner. And I'll always have to workout.

Eight weeks ago before I started my new diet, I freaked out at the thought of eating a certain amount of calories every day. I still freak out every once in awhile actually, when I have this thought. But after 8 weeks on this new way of eating, I think I'll be able to do it. I may not have to be as hypervigilant about every calorie that goes into my mouth, but I'll still have to watch my food.

I'm looking foward to getting to goal weight actually, because I'll be able to eat more than I do now. I'm starting to think maintenance is not a good word to use. Losing weight will never be just about maintenance for me. It's about eating the correct amount of calories for my weight. It's about changing the way I think about how much food I really need to eat. It's about a thinking and lifestyle change.

Maintenance connotes restriction. What am I maintaining? I'm eating the proper amount of food for the weight that I am period. If I'm eating over that correct amount, I'm overeating, not maintaining. I'm probably being picky about semantics, but maintenance sounds so horrible. I want to think that once I get to goal weight, there is no going back to the way I used to eat. Maintenance implies that there's a place to get back too, and that's not what I want.

I don't know. This is just an idea I'm having about maintenance. Maybe it's too soon to have this discussion, because I'm not at my goal weight yet, but I'm trying to make the idea of being at goal weight acceptable to me right now. I'm trying to see if I can live comfortably for the rest of my life eating this amount of food. Because if I can't find a level of comfort and acceptability with how I'm eating now, I know the weight will come back as soon as I get to goal weight. And I definitely don't want that.