I watched the ending of "Manor House", and it was bittersweet. The people talked about leaving the Edwardian era, and returning back to their 21st century life.

I'm starting to feel that way about my move to my new apartment. I've been at my place for 8 years, and it does feel like I'm saying goodbye to one era of my life and entering into a whole new era.

I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I've been wanting to move since November, and maybe even longer than that, although I didn't admit it to myself. But at the same time, I've grown safe and comfortable here. It's been home for a long time. When I used to move every two years, moving was no big deal. This experience has been incredibly traumatic and very anxiety producing.

I know I'm moving into a better place, with more room and less noise, but it's the fear of the unknown and the stress of having to get used to a different neighbourhood that's been making me extremely nervous.

I'm not only moving apartment, I'm also leaving my office to work from home. I think I could deal better with one of the two, but not both.

I do have the incredible feeling that I am entering into a much better phase of my life, and that's been a comfort at least. I won't have to hear the noisy neighbour upstairs. I'll have parking, and won't have to worry about having to move my car every night or wonder what's happening to it.

I'm also trying to see working from home as something that I need to know that I can do. My big dream in life is to be a full time writer, and full time writers work from home. They don't go into an office and work. They sit in front of their computers at home, and write. If I can't work in my corporate job at home and be productive, I'll never be able to work from home as a writer and be productive.

I think I'm very disciplined about work, so it will be interesting to see if I can maintain the same standard while I work at home. My old boss told me today that I'll be fine. He's been working at home for about five years, and he loves it. He can't imagine working in an office, even though he did for a time. He's even cut back to only working part time, because he and his wife just had a second child. His wife also works at home and she can make more money than him working full time, so they decided that he should go part time and she should go full time.

Everyone I know who works at home loves it, and seems very happy. I hope the same result will happen for me. Working at home can't be that different than working at my work place. At work I had my own office, and I always worked with my door closed. I had some interaction with people at work, but not really that much other than to exchange pleasantries in the kitchen or in the hall. I was never one of those employees who was very social at work, at least not at this job.

How can working alone in my office with the door closed and staring at my computer all day, be that much different from sitting at home at my desk and staring at my computer all day? When I look at working in this way, I don't see that much difference, but I guess I'll find out in the next few months.

I know I have to stop looking at my life as permanent, because it's never been that way. There have so many changes in my life over the last few years, and I've always been able to cope before. I've changed job three times since 1997, I bought a car, a really good friend died, I've gone through a few romantic relationships, I became seriously involved in the growth and development movement and was even contemplating becoming a life coach or a seminar leader before I left, I spent three years taking acting classes and was cast in a play, and I started taking writing classes, started two novels and a play, finished several short stories and a screenplay, was in an instructor led writing group for a year, joined another writing group, and for a time was even part of a screenwriting group.

My life has been in a constant state of flux, so all my moaning and groaning about having to leave the permanency of my life seems to have been nothing but a lie that I've been telling myself. But perhaps it's very human to tell yourself lies about how stable your life is. I think it's stressful to think of your life as changing constantly, and that it seems perhaps less stressful and in the short term easier to have the illusion of permanency in your life.

But it's an illusion nonetheless, and I just have to realize that.