Faith is a strange thing for me, because I have had it since I was a kid. I have always believed in the existence of God. Sometimes when I get really freaked out, I doubt that he’s paying attention to me, doesn’t hear me, doesn’t want to hear me, doesn’t care, and is mad at me for whatever reason. When I have hit those bad bottoms in life that you sometimes do, I have even toyed with the idea that maybe God does not really exist. As soon as I get a thought like this, I always get the cosmic slap upside my head that I am dead wrong, and that God does exist but I’m just too caught in my own BS to know it.

I have come to believe that faith is a gift, and faith comes in varying degrees. Some people have it just a teeny tiny bit. Others breathe and live it. I think I fall somewhere in between, although I know some of my friends sometimes consider me a bit of a religious nut.

I don’t think I could ever run away from God. It’s like he’s got me in my palm of his hand and he won’t let go, no matter what I do. And believe me, I’ve tried to run, I’ve tried to hide, I’ve probably done a few things that aren’t very good in the name of getting away from God. It doesn’t matter. No matter how far I run, no matter how far I hide, no matter how far I stray, God always finds me and lets me know, I will never escape him. I can believe whatever I want about him, say whatever about him, but he knows that I know the real truth and he never lets me forget it..

Do other people feel this way about God? I’ve always wondered if I’m the only one. People never really talk about their faith. I don’t really like to either, unless I know the other person is receptive. I know a part of me feels that faith is private and personal, and really no one’s business but your own. So I never talk about faith unless it comes up in conversation.

I do know that despite my silence, I’ve been lucky about having people of faith around me. Over the years, I’ve come to believe that a person doesn’t stay in my life for very long or get close to me unless they have some faith in God. It’s not something I’ve consciously chosen, because it’s not like I wear my faith on my sleeve or vomit religion over someone as soon as I meet them, it’s just something I’ve noticed in my life.

It’s like I have faith-dar, a radar for people of faith. It doesn’t matter what kind of faith either, just as long as the person believes strongly that there is something, someone up there who looks out after us all.